Lady Gaga Concert Ends in Flames, Fans Sink Further into Moral Decadence

MANILA, Philippines–The fire was over, but the worst was yet to come. After putting out the last of the flames, firemen began searching for survivors in the rubble of what was once the SM Mall of Asia concert grounds. This was where Lady Gaga performed a concert as part of her “Born This Way Ball” tour.

But what was supposed to be just another concert in the tour became one of the worst disasters the country has ever seen. An eyewitness is yet to be found, but surviving CCTV footage caught the unfortunate series of events.

It all started when Lady Gaga sang “Born This Way,” a song that has become an anthem of the LGBT community. Upon hearing the chorus, straight couples separated from each other and immediately French kissed the same-sex person closest to them.

With only minimal foreplay these same-sex couples fornicated on the ground, and to make matters worse, they used condoms. Soon there were threesomes and foursomes until there were several huge gay and lesbian orgy piles around the arena.

But it was when Lady Gaga sang “Judas” that all Hell broke loose. As soon as the song started, the now fully homosexual audience immediately stood up from the orgy piles.

The lighters, which were to be used for dramatic waving in unison, became weapons of arson, their lighter fluid sprinkled all over the venue, blessing the place with the unholy water of fire.

It is unsure who ignited it and what kind of Satanic lighter fluid they used, but soon the entire MOA concert grounds were engulfed in flames.

Bodyguards escorted the bewildered Lady Gaga out while her Filipino fans rushed like mindless rage zombies toward the exit.

Outside, they trampled and tripped over corpses of Christian fundamentalist protesters, who by the mere sound of Lady Gaga’s voice started to eat each other without even saying Grace.

Those who made it out alive followed a similarly demonic pattern according to consolidated witness testimonies, mostly from close friends and family who were shocked by the demonic transformation.

Married couples, who were now all homosexual, cited psychological incapacity and impotence for straight sex as they filed for annulment.

Pregnant women immediately got abortions and bought several boxes of birth control pills.

Those who were taking care of grandparents or loved ones on life support committed euthanasia shortly followed by acts of necrophilia.

Relatives urged these Lady Gaga fans to go to Church for confession, but all of them had apparently become atheists, preferring to stay home in their sex chapel worshiping their new god, Satan.

The police have captured one particularly violent fan who after the concert started kicking street dogs several times before having sex with them (wearing condoms, of course).

He reluctantly gave us a quick interview before he was taken to the vet for Rabies shots. We asked him, “What’s the reason for your gratuitously evil behavior and that of your fellow Lady Gaga fans?”

“I don’t know,” replied the man. “We’ve heard all her songs and watched all her music videos millions of times. We’ve even seen footage of other Lady Gaga concerts online.

“I guess there’s just something special that happens when you hold a Lady Gaga concert in predominantly Catholic Philippines.”

Image credits


  1. "Relatives urged these Lady Gaga fans to go to Church for confession, but all of them had apparently become atheists, preferring to stay home in their sex chapel worshiping their new god, Satan."

    Hahaha. this quite true.

    This reminded me of some woman who was asking a friend about his religion.
    When he said "I am an atheist." the woman goes "oh my God! so you worship Satan!?!"
    My friend calmly replies an atheist does not worship any otherworldly beings.
    The woman then replies "oh my God! that's the same thing"

  2. failure to detect sarcasm is an indication of a diminished mental capacity or brain-damage

    and no that is not sarcasm.

  3. Perfection ! I can't help but just make a POKER FACE to all the dumb comments (it made me laugh harder actually). But this article is one helluva satire at its best 😉


  5. who made this shittt?? such a hater… oh puh-lease. PEOPLE!!! this is not true. been there. and for the record you dumb as$ c0ck bitch mothafucka! this article is most pathetic article!!!!!! GET A LIFE PEOPLE!! SRSLY?

  6. Sh*t just got real!!! See what happens when you open your mind or enjoy music ’cause you just want to? Next time obey every word the church says. 🙂

  7. I wouldn't want to go to that Gaga concert anyway because I don't want to end up kissing girls! YUCK!!! It's only okay when Katy Perry does it, no!

  8. I’m now confused. I used to be a Gaga worshipper, but after reading this, I’ve decided I don’t want to kiss girls (YUCK) or use condoms (MORE YUCK). But I also don’t want to protest because I don’t want to lose my values and eat without saying grace 🙁 Help!

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