For those who’ve never watched Mystery Men, a blame thrower is a non-lethal weapon that causes the targets it affects to start blaming the guy nearest to them for their woes.
The end result is usually a fistfight, followed by much hilarity (and finger-pointing).
While the movie’s heroes have had to use a mechanical blamethrower though, the Catholic Church has gone far beyond mere toys.
In its years of existence, this institution has developed its skill to Sith levels of mindtrickery, conveniently throwing one scapegoat after another in its constant attempts to evade public outrage regarding its hypocrisy.
If you thought their name game was bad enough with the RH bill, wait ’till you get a load of their other material. Every statement is a worthy read in its own right, so like a good serving of sashimi, I’ve opted to present each snippet in its raw form, sans the usual snark.
Without further ado, here are the choice cuts:
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Pope Benedict XVI told Vatican officials Monday that they must reflect on the church’s culpability in its child sex-abuse scandal, but he also blamed a secular society in which he said the mistreatment of children was frighteningly common.
In his traditional, end-of-the-year speech to Vatican cardinals and bishops, Benedict said revelations of abuse in 2010 reached “an unimaginable dimension” that required the church to accept the “humiliation” as a call for renewal.
“We must ask ourselves what was wrong in our proclamation, in our whole way of living the Christian life, to allow such a thing to happen,” the pope said.
Benedict also said, however, that the scandal must be seen in a broader social context, in which child pornography is seemingly considered normal by society and drug use and sexual tourism are on the rise.
“The psychological destruction of children, in which human persons are reduced to articles of merchandise, is a terrifying sign of the times,” Benedict said.
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2. Hippies
(Reuters) – A study commissioned by U.S. Roman Catholic bishops concludes that neither the all-male celibate priesthood nor homosexuality caused the church’s sexual abuse crisis, The New York Times reported on Tuesday.
The five-year study says the abuse occurred because priests who were poorly prepared and monitored, and were under stress, landed amid the social and sexual turmoil of the 1960s and ’70s, according to the newspaper.
The “blame Woodstock” explanation has been floated by bishops for years but the study was likely to be regarded as the most authoritative analysis of the scandal in the Catholic Church in America, The Times reported.
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3. Satan
Sex abuse scandals in the Roman Catholic Church are proof that that “the Devil is at work inside the Vatican”, according to the Holy See’s chief exorcist.
Father Gabriele Amorth, 85, who has been the Vatican’s chief exorcist for 25 years and says he has dealt with 70,000 cases of demonic possession, said that the consequences of satanic infiltration included power struggles at the Vatican as well as “cardinals who do not believe in Jesus, and bishops who are linked to the Demon”.
He added: “When one speaks of ‘the smoke of Satan’ [a phrase coined by Pope Paul VI in 1972] in the holy rooms, it is all true – including these latest stories of violence and paedophilia.”
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4. Gays
Speaking on a visit to Chile, Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Vatican Secretary of State, said: “Many psychologists and psychiatrists have demonstrated that there is no relationship between celibacy and paedophilia. But many others have demonstrated, I have been told recently, that there is a relationship between homosexuality and paedophilia. That is true. That is the problem.”
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6. Liberalism
The most obvious change must occur within American seminaries, many of which demonstrate the same brand of cultural liberalism plaguing our secular universities. My hope was rekindled last week as our American Cardinals proposed from Rome an “apostolic visitation” of seminaries emphasizing “the need for fidelity to the Church’s teaching, especially in the area of morality.” It is an arduous task. However, the Pope made it clear last week that he expects the strong appeal of the Cardinals to be followed by decisive Episcopal action.
It is startling that those in the media and academia appear most disturbed by this aberrant behavior, since they have zealously promoted moral relativism by sanctioning “private” moral matters such as alternative lifestyles. Priests, like all of us, are affected by culture. When the culture is sick, every element in it becomes infected. While it is no excuse for this scandal, it is no surprise that Boston, a seat of academic, political and cultural liberalism in America, lies at the center of the storm.
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The Vatican has attacked the media over charges that the Pope failed to act against a US priest accused of abusing up to 200 deaf boys two decades ago.
A Vatican newspaper editorial said the claims were an “ignoble” attack on the Pope and that there was no “cover-up”.
The head of the UK Catholic church said the Pope had made important changes to the way abuse was dealt with.
The Catholic church has been hit by a series of allegations in Europe and the US over the past months.
The latest allegations stem from the US, after it emerged that Archbishops had complained in 1996 about a priest, Fr Lawrence Murphy. Their complaints went to a Vatican office led by the future Pope Benedict XVI.
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8. Jews
Monsignor Giacomo Babini, the Bishop Emeritus of Grossetto, was quoted by the Italian Roman Catholic website Pontifex as saying he believed a “Zionist attack” was behind the criticism of the Pope, given that it was “powerful and refined” in nature.
Bishop Babini denied he had made any anti-Semitic remarks. He was backed by the Italian Bishops Conference (CEI), which issued a declaration by Bishop Babini in which he said: “Statements I have never made about our Jewish brothers have been attributed to me.”
However, Bruno Volpe, who interviewed Monsignor Babini for Pontifex, confirmed that the bishop had made the statement, which was reported widely in the Italian press today. Pontifex threatened to release the audio tape of the interview as proof.
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Of course, with the RCC as it is today, you may also want to keep on the lookout in case they decide to take their scapegoating up another notch in the near future.
Now if you’ve just finished reading all that, I leave the floor to the readers. Enjoy. Discuss. Deconstruct. Facepalm.
A good attempt to ridicule the bible, but where do you get the ‘flog for missing mass’ part? Or have you started making your own bible?
Facepalm. -.-"
Seriously? WTF?
haha I've read all the other comments.
Nothing further is needed to be added here.
Unless the RCC deserves another bashing. :p
And pretty much, everyone's been doing that already.
you guys might like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xTBQcu3a9Q
http://www.examiner.com/creationism-in-detroit/po…
"Child pornography is seemingly considered normal by society" – where does he get bullshit like this?
from that statement, I conclude that the current pope (before he became the pope) was around a lot of pedos, child pornography was not a crime and generally accepted as the norm.
Normal to the Vatican maybe, but to us normal folk that's a hideous crime.
the bible, where else?
http://www.cracked.com/article_16546_the-6-raunch…
shouldn't we also start censoring the bible for smut like this? we allow the bible to be taught in school complete with graphically descriptive sex acts like this… but not want to teach sex ed? tell me what's wrong with the picture
hey i post that all the time haha.
here's a thought:
lets go to a bible study and ask the officiating priest/religious expert what he thinks of onan, lot, jacob etc. and ask him if we can have sex with our brother's widow, have polygamy, have sex with our daughters, sell our daughter for coins and flog people who do not hear mass.
We are throwing stones into a market place. Sexual abuse has become a societal problem, who say the pastor are free? Or is it close relatives? Or teachers? It is a shame that it is found among those who supposedly dedicated their lives to christ, the rcc is doing her house cleaning what is the society doing. It does not stop at pointing accusing finger at priests, you have to be part of the solution. And who say pornography is not common? has the person checked the net recently? Does he notice that soft porn are displayed at night as ‘normal’? Pointing fingers doesnt help you have to be part of the solution.
[I wonder if they ever blamed the actual child being abused.
or maybe if the child was 12, did they ever use this website http://www.avert.org/age-of-consent.htm as an argument to say that it's legal in the Vatican? ]
Actually, they did blame the victim, and have used the age of consent argument. http://crooksandliars.com/nicole-belle/bill-donah…
The problem is, while molesting a non-child isn't pedophilia anymore, it's still rape.
thanks for the link. ^^
Hope we are not making a strawman. The vatican does not make such agruements, so do not attack it
I wonder if they ever blamed the actual child being abused.
or maybe if the child was 12, did they ever use this website http://www.avert.org/age-of-consent.htm as an argument to say that it's legal in the Vatican?
US age of consent is 16-18 on average, maybe 13 at the time of abuse. The study they released lowered it to 10 years old and below. but sex without consent is still rape. thus they are able to reduce the numbers of pedophilia charges, to you know, just rape.
http://mirandaceleste.net/2011/05/24/a-worthless-…
Some say it was not the hippies but the gay hippies! http://www.catholicleague.org/nytstraighttalk.php