First State of the Nation Address by Emmanuel Dapidran Pacquiao, 16th President of the Republic of the Philippines, July 26, 2016

To my teammates—Chief Justice Lito Lapid, Senate President Archbishop Oscar Cruz, Vice President Manuel V. Pangilinan, GMA-7, Head and Shoulders™, Vitwater™, and Datu Puti™…

To my family—my wife Krista, and my beautiful children Jimuel, Michael, Princess, Queenie, Countess, Baron, Duke, Viceroy, and Juan…

And to all of my beloved kalahi…

…good morning everyone.

I will keep this short and sweet, for I am a man of few words.

I have been the President for a short time only. But I have done already many good things and I know that we are doing the plan of God Our Father. We promised Him that we will go out to the world and multiply and we did that and obeyed Him. Please see the Powerpoint behind me—that is how many more Filipinos are since 2011. We are three times many people unlike before. Good job. Now, we all must remember patience, because patience is a virtue. When it comes to twenty years there will be bigger Filipino workforce and we will get prosperity at last. This I promise you.

And before the twenty years happen, the You Know Educational Campaign Project will make sure our children have brains that are rich. Especially full of moral values and right conduct like loving God Our Father and for girls obeying your husband and for boys being a good breadwinner. There will be also Nike™ Vocational Institutes in every city and on every province. They will keep girls from being impregnated because they are learning sewing and shoe repair and other lifeskills. And the Wildcard™ Sports Institutes in every city and on every province will let boys learn also many things. Like teamwork and being brothers and tough and not to love one another like the sodomites.

Okay, I must conclude because I will have training today also. Once again, I would like to say thank you to the Filipino people and my sponsors for being faithful in me and believing who I am. Thank you again so much and I will not let you down. Para sa ‘yo ang laban na ‘to. Everything I do, I do it for you, because the honesty’s too much.

Good morning and thank you. Take care and God bless.

DISCLAIMER: The opinions in this post do not necessarily represent the position of the Filipino Freethinkers.