Ever wonder why most societies tend to be softer on men than on women when it comes to infidelity? It may have something to do with our brains’ hemispheres: the left hemisphere, which deals with math, logic, observation, and reasoning; and the right hemisphere, which handles language, emotion, perception, and intuition. I read a magazine article (I can’t remember if it was from Time or Reader’s Digest) that said that the corpus callosum – the band of nerve fibres that connects the cerebral hemispheres – is often thicker in women than in men, making it easier for the hemispheres to share information and interact with each other as they try to process thoughts simultaneously.
Now while this claim is still being contested, if it is true then I guess that explains a lot why men can make hard decisions reflectively and objectively. It’s nothing personal, just business. Women, on the other hand, tend to involve their emotions when making most choices.
And so when it comes to playing around, men can do it out of pure lust without the slightest affection, while for women to be able to make love they must have feelings for the guy. (A lady friend of mine once remarked that what if she underwent some lobotomy to sever her corpus callosum, would that give her the same “male privilege”?)
Some say that man is polygamous by nature. But before the ladies raise their eyebrows and the boys their heads, there is something I read about human nature that I would like to share. It goes something like this:
The psychiatrist M. Scott Peck, MD said that he was often asked what is human nature, to which he would answer, “Human nature is going to the bathroom in your pants.” He goes on to explain that a very young child, when feeling the need, would defecate anywhere and with his pants on. That is his nature. But given the proper toilet training, sooner or later as he grows up he will be able to hold his bowel long enough to get to the bathroom. This will have become his second nature. And in those rare instances when he didn’t make it to the bathroom, he would feel very unnatural about it. From all this, Peck points out that there is no such thing as “human nature” because among all the animals, only man has the capacity to transcend his instincts.
And so I guess it is with man’s reputation for philandering. Assuming there is some truth that that’s his nature, man has the ability to transcend this polygamous nature and adopt fidelity as a second nature. And in the unlikely event that he slips, he would feel very unnatural about it, like he just shat in his pants.
Or would he?
That was a very generous comment, Gavin. Thanks a lot! 🙂 Even though you're just a spambot. 😀
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Sex is Darwinian. Evolution made sex feel good, otherwise we wouldn't be doing it considering the difficulties of bearing and raising children.
@ innerminds: Some of us have children on purpose, even repeatedly. The benefits can outweigh the difficulties.
@ Gaelan: Agreed. But what I was saying was, why do people who do not want kids still do the sexual act and risk pregnancy?
men cannot just say that it's their nature to be polygamous. as what scott peck said, human beings have the ability to transcend their instincts unless some men have thought of themselves as animals- nothin' more, nothin' less. 🙂 no wonder why some women would tell their partners, "animal ka! nambababae ka na naman." lolz
Do you mean that sex is just plain emotion or feelings (instinct) and no relations to reasons? This is most common understanding among many people. Sex and love are just plain emotions, feelings innstinct unrelated to reason, thinking; a conventional idea accepted by many. But the fact is every feelings, emotions have its root causes, that his hidden, unknown, unrecognized premises of his thinking (acquired and accomulated since childhood).
Interesting points, especially the second nature thing.
Although I think the simple answer is that the societies that are harsher on female infidelity are those run by males, plain and simple. The corpus callosum might explain why men cheat more, but they're treated less harshly because men treat men less harshly, a sad truth.
Well, do we really have to transcend our instincts. If it's really our first nature, it doesn't make us less human at all.
*ready to die single***
@ Frank: I guess you're right about the male-dominated society part. The corpus callosum might explain why men cheat, but not why they are treated less harshly. 🙂
Thanks, Justin. I wonder what Sinisterpark thinks about this. 🙂
Nice Point!