A few days ago, I wrote, “A Letter to CSB on the Recent Hazing Incident.”
One reader immediately demanded that I retract everything I said, take down my article, and apologize. I’m very accommodating and I would lose nothing over an apology, so here goes: “I’m sorry that basic, observable facts offend your fragile sensibilities.”
Unfortunately, your offended sensibilities do not change anything:
1. CSB still does not have the structure to completely eradicate fraternity violence.
2. The advice CSB admin provided, “Choose God, not Gangs,” is still not very useful.
The second statement is an opinion (and you are free to disagree with me), but the first statement is a fact. Your school does not have the infrastructure to completely prevent fraternities. DLSU doesn’t have it either. UP doesn’t have it either. Neither does Ateneo.
Why is that a big issue? I never said that CSB was the exclusive source of all fraternity violence. I never said fraternities were exclusively CSB’s problem. I never said that DLSU, UP or Ateneo were superior schools with zero fraternity problems. My point was that CSB was not addressing the problem properly, by implying that students become victims of fraternity violence because they failed to “choose God.”
Comments poured in regarding the fact that no school has the infrastructure to eradicate fraternity violence. Not even my school, DLSU. I agree. That’s why I wrote an article to remind our schools that this has been a problem for years and the way we have been addressing the issue is not sufficient to prevent it. You can’t simply “pray the violence away.”
In the comments section, some people have pointed out that DLSU and CSB worship the same God. Okay. You may have misinterpreted the phrase “your God” as me implying that DLSU had a different, better God. That’s not what I meant. What I meant was, I did not have one.
Some people have commented that all I did was complain or express my thoughts about the issue. In other words, all I did was point out problems. So what? Even if that was all I did, I would still have done nothing wrong. But I did appreciate how one comment challenged me to recommend concrete suggestions that I think would help solve the problem.
I have a number of suggestions:
A lot of initiates participate in the rites not knowing what to expect. There is a vow of silence made by members of fraternities and sororities. Any member or initiate is supposed to keep his mouth shut when talking to people outside the organization. For the most part, initiates do not know how difficult the rites would be and how hard it would be to quit.
Although not all fraternities practice the same brutal rites, these “rites” are kept secret. It’s all shrouded in mystery, hidden behind a “vow of silence,” that it’s quite easy to hide the violence that happens within.
As it was mentioned in the article “The Psychology of Hazing,” “The secrecy surrounding hazing and the variability in the extent to which groups practice hazing make it difficult for people to swear off joining any group that might take part in hazing.”
As for God? I would bet that praying is exactly what these initiates are doing while they suffered from the physical, psychological, and emotional torment of the whole hazing ordeal. I bet that the lesbian sorority initiate who was coerced to sleep with a ‘brother’ was praying while it happened. I bet the initiate who couldn’t feel his legs after they were paddled to purple was praying for his own safety. I bet the ‘sister’ who watched her fellow initiate get sexually harassed by a ‘brother’ was praying too; praying that she wasn’t the next one to go.
I admit that NOT ALL fraternities dehumanize, exploit, or rape their initiates. Most fraternity members would argue that their own organization works together, as a united community, to improve both the life of its members and their environment.
NOT ALL fraternities are bad. NOT ALL fraternities implement brutal hazing activities. Unfortunately, we can’t tell the difference between those who do and those who don’t, because these organizations do not disclose how their initiation rites proceed. It’s one of the factors that contribute to the violence. It’s so easy to hide abuse when everything happens behind a veil of secrecy.
Suggestion 1: If you want to help future initiates understand the dangers of hazing, why don’t you tell future initiates what you have been through, in your own initiation, so they know which organizations to avoid.
Like I mentioned in the past, extreme hazing practices do not happen overnight. An initiate is primed for the “main event” over a period of weeks. An initiate’s boundaries are shifted slowly through a series of menial tasks with escalating difficulty.
A relevant anecdote I recall is the “Boiling a Frog” story:
“The premise is that if a frog is placed in boiling water, it will jump out, but if it is placed in cold water that is slowly heated, it will not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death. The story is often used as a metaphor for the inability or unwillingness of people to react to significant changes that occur gradually.”
Because of the incremental investments made during this period of incremental abuse, by the time initiates realize that they want out, it’s already too late. The initial emotional, physical and psychological investment losses incurred by initiates compel them to continue with the ordeal rather than face the fact that everything that they’ve invested so far was for nothing. This is the psychology of sunk cost.
Members of fraternities who have gone through brutal initiation rites justify the effort and convince themselves that the ordeal was worth it. In fact, after suffering from abuse from a group, some members tend to value the group higher because they worked so hard to join.
Finally, those who have gone through brutal hazing feel the need to make future initiates to go through the same rites. Even though none of them, zero, liked the hazing process, they rationalize the process as being “important.” They function with the belief that, “I had to do it, so you should too.”
Suggestion 2: As part of Freshman orientation, I would suggest that schools educate students on the psychology behind hazing rituals: incremental abuse, progressive tolerance, sunk cost, justification of effort, and the need to perpetrate abuse that one had to endure.
My goal in writing the letter was to suggest that CSB, like most schools, need to do more in educating students about how insidious the recruitment and initiation process is.
It’s a natural response on your part (if you study or work at CSB) to be defensive when criticisms are directed at your school. I understand your anger. But your anger doesn’t make my statements wrong, neither does calling me stupid.
I don’t know how much has changed from ten years ago, but my orientation seminar as a Freshman in DLSU provided some information on fraternities that went somewhere along the lines of, “Don’t join frats. And if you find yourself involved with or threatened by a fraternity, you can always snitch on them via your guidance counselors.”
Then, I was made to sign a waiver promising that I would never join one.
In my opinion that’s similar to telling a child, “Be a good boy” and asking him to sign a waiver that said, “I promise to be a good boy.”
Here’s a dilemma though. When a student finds himself in the middle of an initiation, what does he do? He’s in the middle of these initiations because he already made a decision, or was pressured into one, to join a fraternity, and he’s thinking, “Shit. I already signed a waiver. If I tell school authorities, they might expel me for joining in the first place. If the ‘brothers’ find out I snitched, I’m dead.”
My intention in the article was not to imply that some fraternities who cause violence, or individuals who make a decision to undergo initiation, should be free of any form of responsibility. What I’m telling CSB is that saying how these people could have simply “chosen God” belittles the personal struggles of those who already suffered in the hands of their abusers. It’s like saying, “You got what you deserved because you didn’t ‘choose God’.”
I know that some readers sincerely believe that previous statement, “that bad things happen to those who don’t choose God.” However, I’m also free to tell those who care to listen that, “No, it’s not as simple as choosing God over gangs.”
What the what?! The 2 articles written by the author about fraternities in CSB are nonsense. I can’t even believe I just wasted my time reading them. In my 2 decades of being a fraternity member, this is the only time I have heard about a person actually believing the myth about “Hirap o sarape.”
The author merely talked about his hatred, bad experiences, and biased assumptions against fraternities. I think you are very much challenged to even defend two things. (#1) How can you prove your theory about what’s happening within the fraternity when you yourself stated that they are mere speculations because of the group’s secrecy–specifically “Hirap o sarap” or rape in hazings?
#2 How much more can you even prove the absence of God amidst the so-called hardship and violence (even rape as you claim) in hazings that the neophytes go through when you can’t even give us a concrete evidence about #1. You simply lost your credibility to persuade us.
Your argument about fraternity members being violent is a pretty weak evidence to even support your theory that there is no God. BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! For crying out loud, do not use the violent nature of some fraternities to convince people that God does not exist.
I was reading the comments of people from your previous article, and I cannot be vindictive in dismissing them as butthurts. They have a right to be, and I suspect that most, if not all, owe their very education to the school in question. If my alma mater was in such position, I would also defend it, on the grounds that thorough investigation has been put in place, and that a resulting legal action has already cleared its name. What irks me is the typical Filipino reaction when met by a superior intellect. Calling you “bobo” and “stupid” just doesn’t fit, judging on your previous articles here on FF, notably the one where you used satire in attacking anti-RH groups, and more recently, the article where you dissected the roots of the “utang na loob” mentality. The latter alone made me lose sleep for several nights in a good way, realizing that me and my brother were indeed victims of an emotionally abusive mother, and that both of us were unaware, least of all, powerless when we were still children. Thank you for cracking me up. Thank you so much.
As for the hazing article, I will not dwell so much on your opinions, as much as I would like to examine the opinions of its readers. Butthurt readers are nothing new, and as you said, their being offended does not make them right nor does it change anything with regards to fraternities or the recent death of an initiate. Many of them hurled insults at you because you belittled the god they worshipped, it’s as if you put half the blame on their omnipotent god for allowing a gruesome death to happen and for allowing a universe to create hazing at the same time, in a theological sense. Again, it’s nothing new. The issue of god is something that Juan dela Cruz will fight to the death, even in the 21st century. Who knows one of your readers are actually fratmen themselves, offended by your attack against god, and are now bent on carrying out physical violence against you? I find it very brave of you to grab the bull by its horns. Posting a second article in response to their comments is very noble. Here you properly addressed the challenge of providing a solution to the problem, which is rightly so, since you believe that CSB’s “Choose God, not gangs” is far from realistic. I’m just disappointed that the very commenters who defended CSB and their god cannot be found in your second article. I would’ve been ecstatic to read their comments now that they are confronted by your logic and realistic approach. I guess the second article is not as exciting, not when you reduced attacks against their god.
To say that most of those readers sympathized with the victim is an understatement. They sympathized with the SCHOOL only because you attacked the god by which the school affiliates itself with, which happens to be THE SAME GOD THEY BELIEVE IN. Good thing the guy is dead. If he lived through the ordeal and mass media got wind of a student from St. Benilde who involved himself in a fraternity, either they will deny that the guy was ever a student of theirs, or the administrators will plainly shut up until the news dies a quiet death. A classic move for a Catholic institution, in line with thousands of clerical sex abuse cases worldwide or the Mitsubishops during Arroyo’s time.
If I were a Hindu or a Buddhist, I’d be more interested in googling the names of suspects, or reading the newspapers for updates regarding the case, and even research on the origin of fraternities. I can’t help but describe their vitriolic reactions as literary jihad. Defend god first, sympathize with the victim comes second.
I found it quite sad that people disregarded 90% of your open letter because one tiny bit of it happened to mention god. You were right then and you’re right now: CSB’s response is and was ridiculous, and bringing god into the issue simply wasn’t enough of a response. The people responsible were clearly not thinking of god when they were beating that boy to death, and no amount of urging them to turn to god now will change the fact that it happened. If that message manages to influence a handful of students from other frats to eschew their violent ways and become less inclined to kick the shit out of other people, great. But that simply cannot be CSB’s (or any other university’s) ONLY response to such a violent crime. If one of the commenter’s on the OP was accurate and they really do make you sign a waiver that you’ll be expelled if you join a fraternity, then they should carry that out. The school should be willing to take the monetary loss of tuition and carry out their sanctions, otherwise it’s only going to be another empty threat and of no use to cleaning up their halls.
Aww.. What happened to all of those butthurted people?
The word ‘fraternity’ is not limited to gangs. Even in the Philippine culture, fraternities refer also to the original concept of the term.
According to Wikipedia, “a fraternity is a brotherhood, although the term sometimes connotes a distinct or formal organization and sometimes a secret society; a fraternal organization; an organized society of men associated together in an environment of companionship and brotherhood; dedicated to the intellectual, physical, moral, religious, and/or social development of its members”
And that universal meaning of the term applies also to how it is known also in the Philippines.
To reiterate, fraternities are not confined to gangs; many schools in the Philippines (colleges/universities) have formal fraternal organizations.
First of all, I recommend google translate get it straight: “fraternity” in Filipino means “gang” in American English.
Other than that, I thought your original article was good for inspiring thinking, and this one is good at hammering those whose only way is their way.
Although, reading again the article, I just find it a bit inaccurate (if this is the correct word) to claim that initiates or would-be neophytes do not know what they’re getting into every time they are joining fraternities (sororities for that matter). I think, by now, considering the countless high-profile hazing incidents that have trended in the news for a very long time, they should have the idea that hazing–brutal or not-so–will always be a part of the initiation rites.
So, my point is, while I put the heaviest responsibility and folly (of course) on the shoulders of the perpetrators), I don’t want to take away a weight of responsibility also on the shoulders of initiates–because they have the choice to decline invitation to join right from the start.
But I agree though that schools should start teaching these tips one way or another.
Thank you.