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Consequences of Nonsense #2

If symptoms persist, consult your doctor.

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Consequences of Nonsense

Through Christ, our Lord

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Christian vs Non-Believer meet again

Hi, I just thought that the ending was not enough. After some of the reactions, I thought I’d create a new one from my left over material and finish the job.

Episode 6
Episode 6
Episode 7
Episode 7
Episode 8
Episode 8
Episode 9
Episode 9
Episode 10
Episode 10

All images used were taken from Apple Computer, Get A Mac ads. All editting was done by Me

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Christian vs Non-Believer

Seeing that this is a site for freethinkers and I am a Non-believer, I get to choose who the cool guy is. Sorry for the long loading time :D

.
Episode 1
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 5
The End.

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Vampires, vampires, and more vampires…

So you find yourself in a movie theater watching the third installment of the Twilight series and find yourself totally entranced by the deeply moving love triangle between the story’s perennially co-dependent heroine, the brooding matinee-idol vampire that glitters, and the equally moody werewolf who just can’t keep his shirt on.

Caught up in the layers-upon-layers of deeply philosophical underpinnings of the story, you can’t help but ponder upon life’s most sublime existential questions like what is love? what is true happiness? Am I Team-Edward or Team-Jacob?

Ahhh, the eternal questions to life’s greatest mysteries….

So you wonder where all these thoughts come from… what is it about vampires that capture the rapt attention of people everywhere to the point of irrational devotion?

Hmmm… fictional undead dude that rose from the dead with super-powers beyond that of mortal men… where have I heard that before…

Oh riiiiight… him….

Need more proof that they’re actually quite similar? Then here’s the :

Top 10 List Why Jesus and Vampires are Alike


  1. Loosely based on historical figures
  2. The tale gets passed on from generation to generation, each time adding a twist to the original tale until it becomes larger than life.
  3. Very popular in pop-culture. Every year or so, there’s bound to be another re-hashed movie or best-seller about him. Ranges from the teeny-bopper, “cool” versions popular with younger crowd to the bloodier, more R-rated versions. (and it can’t get any more bloodier than Mel Gibson’s version).  Anne Rice even wrote a book about him/them.
  4. Came back from the grave as an immortal undead with super-powers
  5. Only reveals his true nature to a select few, preferably those he’s already gotten under his thrall
  6. Can’t enter uninvited into your house (or heart)
  7. Allergic to crosses, prefers not to be impaled with or into woody stuff but in the official storyline gets staked anyway.
  8. Likes to be called “prince”, though one prefers the moniker of “prince of peace”, the other likes the title “prince of darkness”.
  9. Keeps flying critters as pets which usually come out on special occasions or when specifically summoned. One like doves, the other prefers bats.
  10. Has his own rabid fan-base. Don’t mess with his fans, they can appear to be all nice and normal, but say one bad thing about their master and they bare their fangsssss…

- O -

Need more food for thought? Even vampire lore in general, when you think about it, sounds awfully close to Christian beliefs, so here’s the follow-up list :

Top 10 List Why Vampire Lore is like Christianity


  1. Lore states that you too can have eternal life. When you die, the master has the power to bring you back to life
  2. Your salvation is dependent on you consuming the blood of your benefactor in a special ritual
  3. You are not automatically born as one, you have to be converted into one via special rites
  4. There is a strict code of obedience to one’s sire
  5. Minions like to mind control more hapless victims by using their brainwashing powers
  6. Usually has warring sub-factions which recruits humans to use as pawns or cannon-fodder
  7. Hates other supernatural beings (like witches, warlocks, werewolves)
  8. Despite claims to having a lot of supernatural abilities, nothing really ever gets scientifically proven or recorded.
  9. They only reveal themselves to the public when an apocalyptic battle is about to occur, otherwise they only leave traces of unproven tales and rumors in history.
  10. The “good” guys are usually required to practice total and complete abstinence. The “bad” guys are often portrayed as bestial brutes who can’t suppress their instinctive urges, there doesn’t seem to be a middle ground either way.

- O -

But there are alternatives to Stephanie Meyer’s bunch of mormon-inspired “vegan” vampires in the small screen. The closest approximation would be the other teeny-bopper favorite The Vampire Diaries. Though it still falls into Cliche No.10 of  “good vampire totally abstaining from human blood and the bad vampire sucking everyone in sight” (aka. the PG-13 cutesy metaphor for pre-marital sex), its one redeeming value is that the heroine Elena Gilbert is no wimpy Bella Swan (who in Book 1, upon seeing how rich Edward was, thought of quitting school altogether and living with Edward in a state of co-dependent bliss… obviously, growing up to be a self-successful, independent and liberated woman was never part of Bella’s long term goals).

- O -

But another rung up the vampire band-wagon is HBO’s True Blood (now on its 3rd season!). Based on Charlaine Harris’ series of novels set in the south, the spunky heroine Sookie Stackhouse played by Star Wars’ Anna Paquin is a force to be reckoned with. Even though she’s no Buffy, she holds her own against the things that go bump in the night.  This is one gritty series that isn’t afraid to dip into controversy.

It deals with diverse, socially-relevant issues like interracial relationships, bigotry, xenophobia, and the like. And unlike the usual vampire stories, the twist here is that instead of  protecting people from the monsters, religious people are the ones doing the oppressing. Some see this as an allegory of religious persecution against gay people. There are several hints in the show which mirror this sad reality with clever twists like  “God Hates Fangs” (God Hates Fags) and “Coming out of the coffin” (coming out of the closet).

In this world, they have found a viable blood substitute – True Blood, which is the namesake of the show. Vampires have no need to prey on humans and are now trying to get accepted into mainstream society.  But people still fear what is different and stoking the flames of paranoia and hatred are the religious zealots who are using scriptures to justify the eradication of all vampires… good or bad.

In a pivotal episode, the protagonists seek an audience with the Queen of the vampires who let them in on a little secret…

“They’re still waiting for the god who’ll come…”

“Does he ever come?”

“Of course not…  gods only exist in the minds of men, like money and morality”

- O -

Author’s addendum: Whoops, forgot to acknowledge the help of everyone who pitched in ideas to complete the Top 10 lists, many thanks to Den, Johnster, Mack, and Mr. He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, hehe… though you guys are all dyed-in-the-wool, church-going Catholics, you never fail to surprise me on how far your sparkling wit can actually break into actual heretical humor… see you all guys in Hell, hehe :)

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Pope Ium

Brothers and sisters…hear the words that were revealed to me just now.

“If someone slaps you on your right cheek, turn your other cheek to him as well.”
That should provide you with more than enough time to reach for your dagger and show him the color of his entrails.

As our Almighty GodFather once said:
“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”

Have no fear, brothers and sisters…if a heathen asks for a fight then so be it.
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”
Let the wisdom granted to us by our one and only Holy One…with his all powerful Trinity of course,
be the beginning of our enemies’ fear and make the heathens understand that we are right.
Always right.

To love is to hate. Anything, anyone who dares defile your love deserves death.
They dare defile our love for the words…the true words that are our guide…infallible words since they have stood the test of time…
we all know that the words in our Book are true:
or what remains of it since we all know infallible Popes before me have righteously edited it… guided by divine voices of course…

“Do to no one what you yourself dislike.”
“Do to others as you want them to do to you.”

Guided by voices, I now reveal to you, brothers and sisters, a diamond rule:

Do to others before they do unto you.

Posted in HumorComments (3)

Politically Correct Harassment

Dear Julia,

It’s John, your supervisor. Again. I passed by earlier under the pretense of needing office supplies so I could have the opportunity to give you a gender-neutral compliment that did not fall under the often ambiguous umbrella term sexual harassment. But I couldn’t think of one.

So I decided to write this letter instead.

Before I proceed with anything else, I would like to ask you a hypothetical question: If I acknowledged the fact that I find your physical appearance to be enticing, would that be considered a potentially inappropriate compliment or could it be somehow considered a harmless opinion? Not that I find or do not find your physical appearance enticing. I have merely brought up a hypothetical situation we could examine together as mutually respectful colleagues.

Honestly, anyone can tell that you have healthy genes and excellent hygiene habits. But if ever I were to compliment you, it wouldn’t be on your appearance because such advances might be considered objectifying. And objectifying a co-worker certainly falls under the ambiguous umbrella term sexual harassment.

If ever I were to communicate my appreciation for another person’s being, I might simply leave a flower on her desk, as long as such a gesture would not be misconstrued as a courting gesture. Such a gesture might imply that I, being male, am performing the role of the active-gendered pursuer, which might force you, being female, to play the role of the passive-gendered object of desire – thereby, once again, disrupting the gender-neutral politics of our work relations.

These issues of gender-neutrality and personal boundaries within our working environment are serious matters that, apparently, our company has already taken steps to eradicate by enforcing office policies pertaining specifically to this issue.

But still, many believe that their rights are being violated. Many employees still feel that this matter has not been properly resolved and should be further discussed. In fact, I have been briefed that you are one of the more stringent advocates for the improved implementation of office policies.

I would just like to assure you that if you wish to discuss such a matter with me, the door to my office is always open. To ensure the privacy of our discussion, I would even allow for the closing and locking of my office door upon your entrance. As your supervisor, this matter is of great importance to me too. I’m sure our discussion will be truly productive – stressful, but productive.

To ease the tension or stress such a discussion might arouse, we can have a few drinks afterward, at a nearby bar. I can assure you, as your supervisor, that whatever transgressions might be committed should our judgments be compromised by the consumption of alcohol beyond our tolerance – should we, somehow, end up intoxicated, unclothed, and horizontally parallel to each other – it will not be printed on your permanent employee record. There is nothing to worry about.

Not that I am suggesting that such an event would occur, nor am I implying that you are the type of person who would participate in deviant behaviors such as fornication. Not that I condemn deviant behavior. I neither condemn nor commend such practices as long as the people involved are consenting adults.

But if you were, indeed, the type of person who would participate in such an activity, and if you were to suggest that such an activity should occur between us, I would not protest – in fact I might even encourage such an invitation by revealing the fact that many people have told me that I have the reproductive equipment of an African-American basketball athlete.

My encouragement, of course, does not mean to imply that you would prefer the reproductive equipment of an African-American person, since that would be racist. I am simply pointing out the fact that my reproductive equipment is disproportionate with my body mass index.

The fact that my reproductive equipment is disproportionate with my body mass index is often received with a positive response except by some people who have biases against physical deformities. I hope you are not one of those people because we have company policies against prejudice.

I expect a favorable response and I’m confident that you would provide one, unless of course you are a lesbian. Not that there’s anything wrong with lesbianism.

I’m sure your strident efforts for better office policies on sexual matters are motivated by your personal office experiences. I assure you, Julia, I will find this person harassing you and he will be penalized accordingly. You can come to my office anytime to discuss this matter… even after office hours.

Your Supervisor,
Jerald Marcelo Pineda

Posted in Humor, SocietyComments (3)

Fundie Paradise

Here is Weird Al’s Amish Paradise, a parody of Coolio’s Gangsta’s Paradise.  I changed some words and phrases to turn it into Fundie Paradise while loosely retaining the general flow of the song. I suggest you play the video and sing along with the new ‘lyrics’ I wrote below.

FUNDIE PARADISE
.
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I shall fear no evil ‘cause I feel my Shepherd’s breath
And that’s just perfect for a Fundie like me
Because I have an abs’lute stand on morality
Early morning ev’ry Sunday I go to church
Sing with the minister as he comes down from his perch…fool
And I’ve been praising, arms raising so long that
Even Peter thinks that my mind is gone
I’m not a man of this world, I’m into…afterworld
Into hell all you heathens will one day be hurled
But if I finish all my prayers and you finish yours
Then we can get back to reading those Bible verses some more
.
We’ve been spending most our lives
Living in a Fundie paradise
I spoke in tongues once or twice
Living in a Fundie paradise
No human effort will suffice
Living in a Fundie paradise
Only His blood, sacrifice
Living in a Fundie paradise
.
An atheist challenged my belief last week
I just smiled at him and said, “Your future’s so bleak”
From nothing to nothing and this life’s everything?
“Thou shall have eternal life” – on this promise I cling
But I never bashed an atheist even if he deserved it
A Fundie’s never rude – though he may get sarcastic
I never use reason ‘cause it’s all there in the Bible
We must take to tradition – no matter how tribal, fool
There is a beautiful promise to which I adhere
A promise yet to be fulfilled after two thousand years
But we ain’t realy dumb so please don’t be despaired
We’re just a little logic’lly impaired
.
There’s no proof, no solid evidence
But Faith is all I need
I will never trust in reason
Because reason can mislead
.
We’ve been spending most our lives
Living in a Fundie paradise
We’ll have mansions in the sky
Living in a Fundie paradise
On this future we rely
Living in a Fundie paradise
In a life of great supply
Living in a Fundie paradise
.
Saying all my prayers, reading all those verses
Asking for forgiveness for those blasphemous curses
Think you have the answers? Think you know the truth?
Well for abiogenesis will you please show me some proof!
I’m the Fundie guy those poor lost souls wanna be like
Lest upon them divine wrath like lightning will strike
So don’t deny, and don’t rebel
Or else you will be spending all eternity in hell
.
We’ve been spending most our lives
Living in a Fundie paradise
Someone else died, paid the price
Living in a Fundie paradise
Saving us from our demise
Living in a Fundie paradise
Because the Bible never lies
Living in a Fundie paradise
.
.

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On Freethinking, Objectivism, and Plagiarism

I’ve recently learned about the plagiarism in a recent post and think that some sanctions are necessary. Therefore, together with our stakeholders and board of directors, we, the official leaders of FF, have decided to suspend Karlo from his post as official FF writer indefinitely until he edits his post and publicly apologizes and says ten Hail Marys.

But seriously.

First of all, the FF is an informal group. Although we’ve been trying to get organized, herding cats is close to impossible. Nor would freethinkers want to be herded anyway. I’d thought that we — the original members of FF — made this clear from the beginning, but apparently we haven’t, and for the benefit of nonmembers and new members here it is again:

The Filipino Freethinkers is not a formal group with an official, homogeneous stand on anything.

We do not have an official stance on gods — although many are atheists, we have agnostics, deists, pantheists, panentheists, apatheists, etc. We even have several theists — Catholics, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Spirituals, and yes, even a Satanist.

We do not have an official stance on politics — although most prefer democracy and capitalism, we have all sorts of socialists, anarchists, and even one fascist (that I know of).

We do not have an official stance on anything. I thought this was unnecessary, but maybe each post on our blog should be introduced by a disclaimer: The views on this post are my own, and do not reflect those of any other member of FF.

What we do have is a common language that we do try to speak: freethinking. You are freethinking when you try to use reason and evidence to figure something out for yourself. At least that’s my definition. Others may have their own definitions, which is why our members are so varied. And that’s a good thing.

What we — the original members — tried to achieve with FF when we started it was not a WE (a group of people with the same thoughts on everything) but a WHERE. You could compare FF to a room where anybody could come in and talk to each other about whatever. The only thing is, the people in the room speak in the language of reason and Science, and your enjoyment in that room would depend on your fluency at freethinking (our lingua franca).

Obviously, people define Reason and Science in different ways, from the absolutist definitions of Objectivism to the relativist definitions of Postmodernism. But even with the wide range of interpretations, I believe we can all agree on some things:

One, that freedom to talk about things is a good thing, and that no idea is too sacred to justify its permanent status as Truth. In short, nothing is sacred, so there’s no such thing as blasphemy. Even Science does not grant such status to any theory. (Indeed, if it did, it would cease to be Science.)

Two, that assertions made without supporting arguments can be dismissed without any argument. That an argument is only as good as the reason (critical thought free from fallacies) and evidence (repeated and repeatable, peer-reviewed and scientifically valid) backing it up.

Three, although freely thinking (and talking) about something (One) in a way that is rational and evidence-based (Two) is the best way to arrive at conclusions, those conclusions may be different, especially with complex and complicated topics. And even when a group of people — however rational and scientific — somehow reaches the same conclusion, that conclusion does not gain the status of Absolute Truth (One).

Again, I hate to have to say this, but this is MY point of view and it may be different from those of the other FF members.

Now let me share some of my thoughts about this conflict with Objectivists, particularly VB and some of his friends. First of all, we have at least three members (that I know of) who are now Objectivists. Geri was once an Objectivist. I read enough Ayn Rand to understand her philosophy, and although I do not agree with all of her conclusions, I do think she deserves to be called a Philosopher (some FF members think otherwise) and as a writer I particularly value her thoughts on the writing process (I have both her books on the topic).

So I have nothing against Objectivism. In fact, several times I’ve invited Josh Lipana, and through him, VB, to attend our meetups and even to write about Objectivism on our blog. (Both invitations are still open, by the way.)

This was before all the free farter talk on VB’s blog. Personally I do not appreciate personal attacks used in rational discourse. And besides, it only weakens your argument — when you have to resort to it, it usually means you’ve run out of reason.

But things have been said and the discourse has devolved into name calling, unfortunately on both sides. And where there is some semblance of reason it has been quite irrational — again on both sides. Because of the support of some members (myself included) for the RH bill, all of our members have been called irrational, unscientific, and even a fellowship of death. As if the only proper way to be rational and scientific is to agree with Objectivism. And some FF members have called Objectivism a cult of Randroids, lumping together all Objectivists, even though there are those who do value the ideas without any reverence for Ayn Rand.

This has led to the ugly situation we have now. I’d rather we all move on and talk about something more relevant, say HIV/AIDS and the Vatican scandal, but that’s just me. If some members still want to wage an all out war with VB, that’s fine. But please, when you argue with someone, be it VB or anyone else, make it clear that you are arguing for yourself and as yourself — not as a representative of FF.

Sadly, any argument between VB and an FF member has been framed as a battle between Objectivism and FF. Please guys. Keep it between yourselves. The way you have been arguing you might as well have a Yo Mama contest.

Which brings us to the latest attack against Karlo for the plagiarism in his first article. This attack on Karlo is an attack manufactured by those who want to discredit the FF and can be compared to anti-semitism, the Holocaust, and the recent attacks on the Catholic Church.

But seriously. In case your bullshit detector wasn’t on in my first paragraph, we do not have stakeholders and directors and official leaders. We do not even have full-time editors, let alone fact-checkers. I say full-time because sometimes our volunteers fix mechanical errors — spelling, grammar, etc. — and even peer-review articles before posting. But these editorial fixes will remain a rarity until we get volunteers who can dedicate a lot of their time to the necessary work. Or until we get a lot of money (any takers?).

This bears repeating: We are a group of volunteers. We are not paid for what we do.

But still, I agree with the comments so far that Karlo should take responsibility for his actions. He has already replied and said that he will fix the plagiarism in his post. Do I think Karlo should be punished for what he did? Personally, not so much. But again, that’s just my opinion. If you think plagiarism, particularly what Karlo did, is a grave matter deserving of excommunication, do say so. Write a post about it if you like. You will not be censored. But please, try to stick to the issues and avoid the insults.

I’ve already passed the TL;DR point a couple of paragraphs ago, so let me end this rambling (sorry for any errors in spelling, grammar, or plagiarism) with this:

If FF is to be about something, it is not about shared conclusions but shared conversations. Once conclusions are reached conclusively the conversation is over, and a fellowship without conversation is a fellowship concluded. Peace!

Posted in Humor, Organization, PersonalComments (34)

Poe’s Law in action: the Billionaires for Wealthcare

Poe’s law may have been originally coined for fundamentalism, but it actually works on any crackpot theory (like the whole shebang of conservative and right-wing ideology, as well as totalitarian leftism and any world-view with personality cults). This can be seen as well on the modus operandi of “Culture Jammers” like the Yes Men and Billionaires for Wealthcare.

Enjoy watching this while thinking of the Randroids.

Posted in Entertainment, Humor, Media, PoliticsComments (0)

 How to Organize an Official FF Meetup

Before you hold an official FF Meetup ™, you must follow a few guidelines.

First, request the necessary application forms from the Filipino Freethinkers secretariat. After filling up the necessary documents, have them notarized and sent to our official headquarters. Your meetup proposal will go through an approval process, which may take 1-2 months.

But seriously.

There are no official steps or prerequisites.

But there is one guideline — during the meetup, you must use Reason at all times. This means that anyone who promotes the RH bill or any other socialist propaganda is an irrational, illogical, unscientific mystic pirate promoting a culture of death. Farting is strictly prohibited.

OK, OK, now I’m serious. Just had to let that out of my system (freely).
Actually, there’s nothing special about meetups.

All you need is a venue and at least one other person. If you’re blessed enough to have more than two guests, you may want to set an agenda and assign a facilitator. We’ll get into these details in future posts, but if it’s your first meetup, just wing it. Introductions and the discussions that develop from them will take up most of your time anyway.

Now go to the forum and post a call for freethinkers in your area. Once you have enough participants who have agreed on a venue and schedule, let us know. We’ll post meetup announcements on all of our online channels.
And don’t forget to take pictures (especially a group picture toward the end). Ending a meetup without a photo op is bad luck.

Posted in Humor, Meetup, OrganizationComments (17)

A Quick Scientific Limerick :)

Come on guys, let’s show our love for science and poetry. Let’s keep the creative juices flowing. Here’s my start on this mess. :) I’m sure you can think of other creative limericks, whether they be about science, math, or anything under the freethinking sun, no? :)

There was a guy named Schroedinger
who was quite an exceptional thinker
He posited that
there’d either be a dead or live cat
Even before you laid down a finger
(to appreciate my limerick even more, here’s a good reference on Schroedinger’s cat)
:)
And I don’t want to leave another favorite subject of mine (among others) without its own limerick. ;)
Newton discovered calculus
So did Leibniz, plus its use
There was some dispute
on who’d bring the discoverer’s loot
But Isaac won over a ruse.
(to appreciate my math limerick, please see the Wikipedia article on the Calculus discovery controversy)
:)

Posted in Entertainment, Featured, Humor, Media, Personal, Pictures, Poetry, ScienceComments (7)

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