I used to support the RH Bill. I no longer do. By the end of this document, neither would you. I have not supported the RH Bill since I attended a lecture in Megamall about the truth behind it. That lecture truly enlightened me. My only hope is that this holy light of enlightenment passes through your monitor screen, into your optical nerves, and into your heart so it can touch your soul (because the soul is in the heart). My intent here is not to antagonize Pro-RH people, but to enlighten – so listen up, you narrow-minded morons. Open your minds to the real truth…
The RH Bill will put Filipinos at risk of extinction, because, at its very core, the RH Bill is an extension of a secret, global conspiracy – a western attempt – to implement principles of eugenics on unsuspecting, inferior populations in order to exclude them from the human evolutionary process, at the end of which would, at the apex, summon forth THE MASTER RACE. Anyone who failed to see this after the lecture is ignorant. I advise him or her to do his or her research, better yet, do some soul-searching to discover the real truth, because the truth is in our hearts, we just have to listen to it.
Initially, my layman’s interpretation of the RH Bill led me to think that it was just a bill meant to help educate the uninformed about ways to prevent them from fornicating their way to a very bad financial situation. My ignorant mind devised 10 simple points as to why the RH Bill was right.
I thought:
1. The minimum wage – the lowest an employer can pay an employee – of a non-agricultural Filipino worker is P404.
2. If there were 20 working days in a month (because most people don’t work on the weekend), the average minimum-wage-earning Filipino would earn around P8,000 a month.
3. Let’s call that person, Joey. If Joey, like other human beings, ate food on a regular basis, he will spend around P70/day on food (and that’s a very, very conservative assumption). There are 30 days in a month, so I guess, that would amount to P2,100 a month.
4. But if Joey had a wife that he loved, he might want to feed her too. Feeding her would cost another P2,100 a month.
5. P8,000 – P4,200 = P3,800
6. If Joey and his wife rented a home, or used electricity and bathed from time to time, the amount left from Joey’s salary would be significantly reduced. Let’s say their utility bills and rent amounted to P1800.
7. P3,800 – P1800 = P2,000
8. P2,000 is a lot of money, but I don’t think Joey and his wife should have more than 3 children, right? I mean, I don’t have children, but just by looking at one, I can safely assume that they cost more than P1,000/month. Babies need milk, diapers, toys, immunity injections, baby medicine…
9. From this I deduced that babies cost money. If babies cost money, I theorized that having more babies would cost more money. And from this data, I observed that a person who spent a lot of money on children, but didn’t earn a lot of money, would soon be broke and unable to provide for both himself and his children. Another word for this broke situation is poverty.
10. I theorized that a person can avoid being poor by making less babies. So, I thought that steps should be taken to inform people about this very little known fact. I also thought that the government should make contraceptives accessible so that people who don’t earn a lot can properly manage the little resources that they have. That’s why I supported the RH Bill.
But now I know that I was wrong. And here are some of the reasons why I know that. By the way, before I continue, I must say that this is the truth, guys. In fact, it’s more than the truth. It’s the Catholic truth, which means that it’s truer and more true than the regular truth.
I know that the issue of the RH Bill is not a religious issue, but make sure you pay attention if you want your soul to be saved. Here are some of the things I learned from the lecture I learned:
“The RH Bill is wrong because it assumes that the Philippines is overpopulated.”
I agree. I, myself, have observed that the Philippine is NOT overpopulated. In fact, if you use your common sense and think about it, you will realize a few things:
1. We are not overpopulated! Look at the mountains, the jungles, the caves and the ocean floor. There are no people there!
2. If we were really overpopulated, we would have trouble travelling. But if you go to EDSA, there’s no traffic. When you ride the MRT, it’s not packed with people.
3. Students in public schools are well educated because the teacher to student ratio is very low. In fact, because of our low population the government can basically guarantee that all public school students are provided books, notebooks and other school supplies.
“The RH Bill is wrong because it assumes that contraceptives are good for mankind and women.”
1. I agree, the RH Bill is not good for women because it might draw a woman away from her one, true, universal purpose – the uninterrupted production of healthy babies.
2. Furthermore, the role of women in society and the universe is to make babies. That’s why God made women. That’s their sole purpose in life. They’re not good for anything else. Ever wonder why there are no women in the clergy? Because they’re not good enough.
3. Contraceptives would allow women to enjoy the benefits of physical intimacy while maintaining a successful and productive career, if she so chooses. That is so wrong. Only men should be able to enjoy that privilege.
4. Women should get pregnant every single time they have sex and only immoral women enjoy sex without the possibility of conception. In fact, a better alternative would be for women, in general, to follow the example made by Mother Mary – to learn how to conceive without having sex.
“The RH bill will put Filipinos at risk of extinction!”
1. I agree. If we pass the RH bill, we will become extinct, like dinosaurs. The dinosaurs are all dead. If we don’t want to be extinct, we should not pass the RH Bill. I mean, do you really want to be a dinosaur?
2. In my opinion, it wouldn’t even be far-fetched to speculate that the most probable reason the dinosaurs became extinct was because they used contraceptives.
3. Population decline is just bad for nations. Just look at the countries which have a declining population – Italy, Japan and Singapore. They’re in such a bad shape. The Philippines obviously has a better economy and has a higher literacy rate than these countries. In fact, many Italians, Japanese, and Singaporeans go to the Philippines for work. That only goes to show that a decline in population is bad for the economy.
“Our population is our biggest asset!”
1. In my opinion, people should make as many babies as they can because the population is not a problem. In fact, the more babies a person has, the more assets he has. Forget real estate properties, stock investments, or Jollibee franchises. The real secret to increased wealth is babies.
2. If you have 15 babies, you’re practically wealthy because babies are assets:
2.1 If you need money, you can sell them.
2.2 If you can keep them alive until they can walk, they can one day beg for money in the streets – they’re going to have to anyway because there’s no way in hell you’ll be able to provide for all of them on your own.
3. If ever a person is not able to feed the 15 babies he made, it’s the governments fault, because it’s the governments sole responsibility to make sure that every Filipino baby is fed.
4. The best way a person can contribute to his country is to contribute to its population.
“The RH Bill is wrong because it assumes that reproductive education and contraceptives will effectively reduce cases of abortion.”
1. Reproductive/contraceptive education will have no effect on the number of abortion cases. In my opinion, these abortion cases will not lessen because women will continue to have abortions regardless of whether they are pregnant or not.
2. Abortions cannot be prevented. It’s just something that women naturally do. Like shopping, for example.
“The RH Bill is wrong because it will make people participate in extra-marital and pre-marital sex.”
1. By approving the RH Bill, we as a nation, are practically encouraging our people to engage in immoral activities.
2. We must protect our moral values and reject the RH Bill. Because, currently, not a single Filipino engages in pre-marital sex or extra-marital sex. As soon as this bill is approved, Filipino people will run the streets naked and start a national orgy!
3. The root cause of extra-marital and pre-marital sex is one’s exposure to contraceptives. There is just something in contraceptives that people find very arousing.
4. In Western countries, men lure strange women into bed by showing them condoms.
5. If we ban condoms, absolutely no one would engage in pre-marital or extra-marital sex.
“The RH Bill is wrong because it assumes that parents don’t teach their children about sex.”
1. The truth is that parents talk to their children about sex all the time. It’s so not awkward. The dad usually tells his children how he takes off all his clothes, does a sexy Tiger growl and makes sweet, sweet music with their mother’s body.
2. Also, a father usually advises his daughter that if she’s going to have sex with her boyfriend, she should use a condom. Sometimes the father even drives the daughter to the boyfriend’s house and waits for the couple to finish.
3. Filipino daughters don’t have sex without the father’s permission. Unwanted pregnancies or teen pregnancies never happen to Filipino girls. That’s why we do not need the RH Bill.
“The RH Bill is a conspiracy.”
1. It’s lies, all lies!
“The RH Bill is wrong because the priest said so, and priests are never wrong.”
The biggest reason why we should not pass the RH Bill is because the priests told us that we shouldn’t. As anyone should know, priests, men of the clergy, should be the authority on sexual and reproductive matters because they have the most knowledge and experience with sex and reproduction. They are true sexperts – legendary masters of erotic affairs. If you are a real Catholic, you would do everything they say, because they’re always right.
"70-30"
70% opinion and self-induced information
30% facts that really determine RH Bill and our country
The same statistics could be applied to those who commented here.
70% dumbass lacking sense of humor and has poor reading comprehension
30% with above average iq and great sense of humor
unfortunately for you, you belong to the bigger population.
Superlike! Hahahahaha
pure sarcasm..like!:) i will still be against the bill, though..:)
the comments were as entertaining as the article..
if, MORE POPULATION = MORE DUMB PEOPLE, then we really are overpopulated..
for those who took this way too seriously, i was hoping you’d get this simple equation but by reading your comments, there’s a higher chance that id be disappointed.
i had to agree with fierymary, some people thinks too slow, and types so fast…and furious..lol
hahaha!
this article made me laugh!
at first interesting, pero when i read the 15 babies thing, seriuosly? 15 babies? may 15 babies ka nga wala ka naman pambili ng gamot.
i had fun reading the article. kudos my friend…
but im having much more fun reading the comments. (especially the stupid ones)
"MORE POPULATION = MORE DUMB PEOPLE". so there you go.
1st paragraph, I thought this was serious until the last "you narrow-minded morons" part.
2nd paragraph, made me think you were some sort of traumatized Holocaust survivor. (Me: What's this guy been smoking?)
3rd up to item #10, logical…made me think this was a serious article.
The rest, nice funny read.
The comments from those who got carried away ~(-_-)'
For PROs who got carried away: you'd better start being ANTI
For ANTIs who got carried away: Go! Go! Go! (Clap3x!!!!)
This is stupid. Your accusations against the RH bill is as illogical as what you thought the RH bill was. EXTINCTION? Really now.
naiyak naman ako sa comment mo. it's what they call reverse psychology dude. relax… and read again. obviously you did not get it.
sarcastic yung approach dyan, try mo hanapin yung word na 'sarcasm' sa dictionary baka sakaling makatulong sayo.
Ang bobo mo nman.
I just realized, isang reason din ba kaya di umuunlad ang Pilipinas ay dahil ang daming SLOW dito?? HUMOR guys! You should use it from time to time. CHILL lang kayo. Kaya laging may gulo dito eh, ang init ng mga ulo kagad.LOL. Bago kayo magsalita, intindihin niyo muna. Peace out!
an utter lucidly carved irony, that is, like a hitchslap in the hearts of religious fanatics.
but if it is a very sarcastic way of telling you are really a PRO, then I say you did well because you even make an anti-RH bill people (I know some) to like your article.
OMG! This article just made me want to really be a PRO-RH bill! Every arguments you made were all way off the mind of a normal person! I don't know if you were joking (but if you do, you are a very good joker IMHO). If all of that statements you've said came from the someone else, then I was quite surprised by how narrow-minded you are for believing most of it.
An example of how pathetic your arguments are: " If ever a person is not able to feed the 15 babies he made, it’s the governments fault, because it’s the governments sole responsibility to make sure that every Filipino baby is fed."
Damn! I laughed at this! We are an important piece in the development of our government! Feeding 15 babies in a family is not the SOLE responsibility of the government! FOR GOD SAKE!! We hold responsible for every action we make and the government is just there to support us. Are you thinking that the Gov't is like God who can share a piece of bread to hundreds of people? Hell NO! That is why our country can't progress because there are people like you who thinks awkwardly.
Boy, congratulations! You just been brainwashed!
I will quote one statement you have said in your article w/c I think is very appropriate for you to do ( and I will try to :
"I advise him or her to do his or her research" … and do NOT just do soul searching because that closes your way of thinking. Make it 50-50 and let it battle through your mind so that your once you make another blog like this you might be able to have a better and stronger arguments. AYE!
humor is so wasted on you. tsk. I would suggest you to read the article one more time, and use more humor while doing so for you to really understand the writer's intention in his blog.
ps. have you ever heard of the word SARCASM? –> " If ever a person is not able to feed the 15 babies he made, it’s the governments fault, because it’s the governments sole responsibility to make sure that every Filipino baby is fed."
my my my… your comment is excessively long… yet i cannot say the same for the length of your intelligence.
Isa kang tangang pinoy. paenglish english kpa di kna man mkpgcomprehend.
OK natatawa ko sa mga nagreply dito. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS !?! kayo ang hindi nagiisip PSSSS.
I think my IQ dropped by about 5 points after reading your comment. Bravo, derader. You have successfully proven to every single person who reads the comment section that you are a complete and total idiot.
A good read. Obviously a lot of people do not look at context and the CATEGORY at the top of the page, HUMOR. A grain of salt if you please. Is the art of critical thinking gone? Some people are slow….and too fast with the typing….
I think what u said we have plenty of mountains or valley which are not populated, DO YOU WANT TO LIVE THERE?!!!!!
i DONT THINK SO , OF COURSE YOU WANT TO LIVE IN A CITY NOT A FOREST OR MOUNTAIN.
YES WE ARE OVERPUPULATED, THATS IS WHY OUR WAGES DOES NOT INCREASE.
THE HELL WITH YOUR OPINION.
hahaha do you know what sarcasm means?? obviously you thought the piece was about being anti-RH bill…. wrong (just in case you won't get what I mean)
PEOPLE!!! SARCASM. Please read slower next time.
Mr. Dustin, Hats off to you. Its a funny light read.
BOBO.
Spell T-A-N-G-A.
rico ano ba you dont know the meaning of sarcasm? REVERSE PSYCOLOGY ALAM MO? HAY NAKO
PURE GENIUS. 🙂
funny ng comments. daming slow!
OMG. ANG DAMING SLOW. IT'S SATIRICAL! Ano ba! May pa-feminist feminist effect pa yung iba jan. It's ridiculous! You're attacking the author with PRO-RH Bill statements when in fact we're all on the same side! Read between the lines, please!
what an idiot
BENTA. Honestly, out of all the anti-RH statements the “RH bill will put Filipinos at risk of extinction!” is my favorite one to nitpick on. Sa parish pa nga namin yung flyer, sinabi "human race" imbes na Filipinos lang. HAHA! Extinction my ass.
Honestly, if only the anti side had more logical arguments, I'd be less antagonistic towards. Pero grabe naman, epic hasty generalizations naman kasi sila. Nakakatawa tuloy ang labas ng mga arguments nila.
i think the concept for this was potentially good if it was meant to be a satyr and if it was mean't to have a sarcastic undertone tone to keep it light and funny… unfortunately, sarcasm really doesn't translate well in written form. (unless embellished with odd punctuations and italicized to overly emphasize points where stresses are to be made in order to allow the reader to properly set the tone and pace while reading which i also personally dislike.) perhaps if this were performed ala rex navarette skit, it would come through as intended. it falls short however, in this written form and ends up being either a confusing read for some who end up taking it seriously, and in my case, a little corny and irritating overall to read….
"satyr" FTW. bobo.
very well crafted! laughed hard at the dinosaur part. i'm a pro-RH but that doesn't mean i find the anti-RH rational too shallow (as portrayed here). but men! we should not treat it seriously, it's CATEGORIZED as HUMOR, meant to make us laugh!
"1. Reproductive/contraceptive education will have no effect on the number of abortion cases. In my opinion, these abortion cases will not lessen because women will continue to have abortions regardless of whether they are pregnant or not."
lol
dude abortion is termination of pregnancy! how the hell are women gonna engage to one if they're not pregnant?
well i guess, this is d reason why we should passed some of the articles indicated in the RH Bill.
“MORE POPULATION= MORE DUMB PEOPLE”
they cant even notice how children study in a very very crowded classroom. especially in public.
OMG. ANG DAMING SLOW. IT'S SATIRICAL! Ano ba! May pa-feminist feminist effect pa yung iba jan. It's ridiculous! You're attacking the author with PRO-RH Bill statements when in fact we're all on the same side! Read between the lines, please!
Kudos to the writer by the way. Well thought of. 🙂
I don't think this is a good satire. People who post that this is a satire and say that people who don't get it are ignorant, are being hypocritical. Not all people get satires, especially those like this one because it seems to be almost true in the first few paragraphs. A satire wouldn't even be a satire if not one person does not know it is a satire.
satire is for people with high IQ. betch.
* or rather with IQ greater than or equal to 100. hahaha
Hahahahaha… Bobo much itong si koko
I wanted to stop reading this as soon as I read how the writer looked down on women:
"2. Furthermore, the role of women in society and the universe is to make babies. That’s why God made women. That’s their sole purpose in life. They’re not good for anything else. Ever wonder why there are no women in the clergy? Because they’re not good enough.
3. Contraceptives would allow women to enjoy the benefits of physical intimacy while maintaining a successful and productive career, if she so chooses. That is so wrong. Only men should be able to enjoy that privilege."
Writer dear, I think you are still living in the medieval times. Insulting women does not help you and your movement.
Also, for your information and also for the benefit of your other readers, contraceptives are not always solely and purposefully used as birth control – they are also used for hormonal treatment and regulation of menstruation. In fact, majority of women who use contraceptives are women who have PCOS. Google it and you'll be enlightened.
commenter, dear… you need more brain cells.
ahehehehehe! I agree! arci really need more brain cells. maybe he's a dinosaur. peace!
OMG, I stopped reading your comment once I saw the word STOP :))
ETHEL BOOBA nga naman ang maraming tao e. mag-iisang linggo nang buhay si operation tule kakaokray ng mga comment dito. pagpahingahin niyo naman me. OHMAYGHULAY
You need some neurons daw?! haha
very well said. nice article. loved the dinosaurs part :))
I suggest that you look deeper into the issue. You are just at the surface of what you are presenting. Your assumptions are unfounded — almost illogical. I did not bother reading last half of the article because i found your your points to be ignorant of what lies beneath the issue.
yun yung problema eh.. di mo binasa lahat
nope, binasa nya… only, he did not understand hahahaha
isa pa 'tong gago 'tong si anon2.. READ FULL ALWAYS plez?
"I did not bother reading last half of the article " -> ayan o.. sabi ni READ WELL ALWAYS. noob.
ahahahaha oo nga naman, makikisali pa si anon2 sala naman ang banat!
I suggest that you look deeper into the issue. You are just at the surface of what you are presenting. Your assumptions are unfounded — almost illogical. I did not bother reading last half of the article because i found your your points to be ignorant of what lies beneath the issue.
Please first identify what is the greatest problem that is being opposed by the bill.
be more realistic. i hope that this article does not go circulating any more.
and your tactics to persuade the readers to accept your perspective is shameful. you had to say that you first believed in the RH bill but change minds afterwards to set the mind of the reader to listen to you?
i suggest that you attend a PRO RH bill seminar and lets see after that if you wont create another article that you are back to supporting RH bill.
trolled
i dont think you get it. the point of the article was to mock the anti-RH bill points … which are – as you pointed out – unfounded and illogical! it is sarcasm. 😀
more brain cells damn!
Pakihigpitan nga ng turnilyo…
wow… ang galing… ito ang pinakamatalinong bobo as of now..
you didn't get it? you must be the bobo.
Very humorous to those who understand it and it makes anti RH very stupid
there's a phrase in ur 1st paragraph…that I'd like to dedicate to you…but I decided not to tell you what that phrase is…m*r*n
loooved the sarcasm..haha
Pagpalain nawa kayo ni Junathan
… snip .. We are not overpopulated! Look at the mountains, the jungles, the caves and the ocean floor. There are no people there! .. i love it!
Filipino daughters don’t have sex without the father’s permission. Unwanted pregnancies or teen pregnancies never happen to Filipino girls. That’s why we do not need the RH Bill.
–really?
trolled
Did not finish the whole article but got this 'lessons' from it.
– I agree. If we pass the RH bill, we will become extinct, like dinosaurs. The dinosaurs are all dead. If we don’t want to be extinct, we should not pass the RH Bill. I mean, do you really want to be a dinosaur?
-Women should get pregnant every single time they have sex and only immoral women enjoy sex without the possibility of conception. In fact, a better alternative would be for women, in general, to follow the example made by Mother Mary – to learn how to conceive without having sex.
I'd gladly give you back so-called lessons for free.
dude? really?
Are you even serious?
man! you missed reading who are the real sexperts!!! shame on you!!! hehehehehe! peace!
that was really nice… loved the sarcasm… ahehehe everyone who's anti will completely agree with you… and I mean literally… ahehehe
as*hole!!! such nonsense and overrated explanations!
wasted 2mins of my life! nagDOTA na lang sana ako. haha
sige mag-DOTA ka na lang.. Kaya mapurol utak mo eh.
thumbs up to you my frend.
yep, mag-DOTA ka na lg, yon lg kaya mo intindihin.
Overrated explanations? hahahahahaha you really are stupid.
ahahaha.. i enjoyed reading this.. very exaggerated ang author.. SUPERB write ups… ang galing ng ending
"As anyone should know, priests, men of the clergy, should be the authority on sexual and reproductive matters because they have the most knowledge and experience with sex and reproduction. They are true sexperts – legendary masters of erotic affairs." baaaaaaaaaaaammm!!!
grabe..super pro!!!
It’s the Catholic truth, which means that it’s truer and more true than the regular truth. — and this lol
this is a satire peeps……..we can sell our babies…..(nice one)
like in jonathan swift essay " a modest proposal".he said that we can eat babies!!!!!
lol…. tsk tsk tsk….
GLORIOUS! If you got BUTTHURT by this article, then you are most probably a Dinosaur. Yes, dinosaur's are very touchy when it comes to their extinction.
This is funny as hell!
Para sa mga sobrang seryoso diyan, worry about line #15 on Maynilad's page: http://www.mayniladwater.com.ph/consumer-01.html
That fluoride in your water is deadlier than anything you consume…
Much love!
to be honest, I thought this was stupid and was written by someone who never goes outside his house, but then I read the dinosaur part and… ah… wow, such sarcasm. This is actually quite good!
but be warned my friend, not all people can understand what you have written. most people would take it literally.
oh come on. to the author can you plz pm me if you are open for debate on what you had written on this article… I dont think this is good for us Filipinio’s,,, this sucks you know…
you suck you know
lol
yun na lg.
This is brilliant, I absolutely love it! 😀
I don't understand though why some people take it seriously. It's SATIRE, people. Honestly, how did we ever leave the caves???
Are you stupid people? This article is purely SARCASM! It does support RH Bill! This is the truth man.
this is not about being satire. do you believe with all your capacity that this is satire? he posed some sarcasm to TRY to keep his readers AWAKE while reading because his points were plainly STUPID.
Di mo lang nage-gets.. Kaawa-awa ka naman. Baba ng IQ mo..
this article is so so stupid and lame..not funny at all even if its in the humor section..gosh it shows how much iq you got dustin…stupid!
if the author is stupid, what are you then?
this only shows that you can't understand satire… probably point that "stupid" comment back to yourself.
hahahaha
"… the role of women in society and the universe is to make babies. That’s why God made women. That’s their sole purpose in life. They’re not good for anything else." HEEHEEHEE.
Sana nga kasama sa RH bill, kapag ang isang lalake may nabuntis na babae na wala sa lugar, may mandatory service sa military for several years. Lalo na yung mga lalake na walang ginawa kundi gawing pamparausan ang mga babae.
Isa pa nga pala, under Humor category po itong article; thus, eliminating Poe's law. Tapos satire (satirical) itong article not sarcastic. Although, malakas ang patama kasi sa mga anti-RH bill .. kaya sobrang nakakatawa.
Grabe hindi raw OVER POPULATED ANG PHILIPPINES, then binigay pang isang example kung saan wala daw naka tira ang OCEAN FLOOR!
Grabe ang babaw!
hmm, napakakitid ng pag iisip mo.. yun lang, ayoko nlng makipagtalo..^_^
custom made yung RH bill para sa mga tulad mo, did you know?