I used to support the RH Bill. I no longer do. By the end of this document, neither would you. I have not supported the RH Bill since I attended a lecture in Megamall about the truth behind it. That lecture truly enlightened me. My only hope is that this holy light of enlightenment passes through your monitor screen, into your optical nerves, and into your heart so it can touch your soul (because the soul is in the heart). My intent here is not to antagonize Pro-RH people, but to enlighten – so listen up, you narrow-minded morons. Open your minds to the real truth…
The RH Bill will put Filipinos at risk of extinction, because, at its very core, the RH Bill is an extension of a secret, global conspiracy – a western attempt – to implement principles of eugenics on unsuspecting, inferior populations in order to exclude them from the human evolutionary process, at the end of which would, at the apex, summon forth THE MASTER RACE. Anyone who failed to see this after the lecture is ignorant. I advise him or her to do his or her research, better yet, do some soul-searching to discover the real truth, because the truth is in our hearts, we just have to listen to it.
Initially, my layman’s interpretation of the RH Bill led me to think that it was just a bill meant to help educate the uninformed about ways to prevent them from fornicating their way to a very bad financial situation. My ignorant mind devised 10 simple points as to why the RH Bill was right.
I thought:
1. The minimum wage – the lowest an employer can pay an employee – of a non-agricultural Filipino worker is P404.
2. If there were 20 working days in a month (because most people don’t work on the weekend), the average minimum-wage-earning Filipino would earn around P8,000 a month.
3. Let’s call that person, Joey. If Joey, like other human beings, ate food on a regular basis, he will spend around P70/day on food (and that’s a very, very conservative assumption). There are 30 days in a month, so I guess, that would amount to P2,100 a month.
4. But if Joey had a wife that he loved, he might want to feed her too. Feeding her would cost another P2,100 a month.
5. P8,000 – P4,200 = P3,800
6. If Joey and his wife rented a home, or used electricity and bathed from time to time, the amount left from Joey’s salary would be significantly reduced. Let’s say their utility bills and rent amounted to P1800.
7. P3,800 – P1800 = P2,000
8. P2,000 is a lot of money, but I don’t think Joey and his wife should have more than 3 children, right? I mean, I don’t have children, but just by looking at one, I can safely assume that they cost more than P1,000/month. Babies need milk, diapers, toys, immunity injections, baby medicine…
9. From this I deduced that babies cost money. If babies cost money, I theorized that having more babies would cost more money. And from this data, I observed that a person who spent a lot of money on children, but didn’t earn a lot of money, would soon be broke and unable to provide for both himself and his children. Another word for this broke situation is poverty.
10. I theorized that a person can avoid being poor by making less babies. So, I thought that steps should be taken to inform people about this very little known fact. I also thought that the government should make contraceptives accessible so that people who don’t earn a lot can properly manage the little resources that they have. That’s why I supported the RH Bill.
But now I know that I was wrong. And here are some of the reasons why I know that. By the way, before I continue, I must say that this is the truth, guys. In fact, it’s more than the truth. It’s the Catholic truth, which means that it’s truer and more true than the regular truth.
I know that the issue of the RH Bill is not a religious issue, but make sure you pay attention if you want your soul to be saved. Here are some of the things I learned from the lecture I learned:
“The RH Bill is wrong because it assumes that the Philippines is overpopulated.”
I agree. I, myself, have observed that the Philippine is NOT overpopulated. In fact, if you use your common sense and think about it, you will realize a few things:
1. We are not overpopulated! Look at the mountains, the jungles, the caves and the ocean floor. There are no people there!
2. If we were really overpopulated, we would have trouble travelling. But if you go to EDSA, there’s no traffic. When you ride the MRT, it’s not packed with people.
3. Students in public schools are well educated because the teacher to student ratio is very low. In fact, because of our low population the government can basically guarantee that all public school students are provided books, notebooks and other school supplies.
“The RH Bill is wrong because it assumes that contraceptives are good for mankind and women.”
1. I agree, the RH Bill is not good for women because it might draw a woman away from her one, true, universal purpose – the uninterrupted production of healthy babies.
2. Furthermore, the role of women in society and the universe is to make babies. That’s why God made women. That’s their sole purpose in life. They’re not good for anything else. Ever wonder why there are no women in the clergy? Because they’re not good enough.
3. Contraceptives would allow women to enjoy the benefits of physical intimacy while maintaining a successful and productive career, if she so chooses. That is so wrong. Only men should be able to enjoy that privilege.
4. Women should get pregnant every single time they have sex and only immoral women enjoy sex without the possibility of conception. In fact, a better alternative would be for women, in general, to follow the example made by Mother Mary – to learn how to conceive without having sex.
“The RH bill will put Filipinos at risk of extinction!”
1. I agree. If we pass the RH bill, we will become extinct, like dinosaurs. The dinosaurs are all dead. If we don’t want to be extinct, we should not pass the RH Bill. I mean, do you really want to be a dinosaur?
2. In my opinion, it wouldn’t even be far-fetched to speculate that the most probable reason the dinosaurs became extinct was because they used contraceptives.
3. Population decline is just bad for nations. Just look at the countries which have a declining population – Italy, Japan and Singapore. They’re in such a bad shape. The Philippines obviously has a better economy and has a higher literacy rate than these countries. In fact, many Italians, Japanese, and Singaporeans go to the Philippines for work. That only goes to show that a decline in population is bad for the economy.
“Our population is our biggest asset!”
1. In my opinion, people should make as many babies as they can because the population is not a problem. In fact, the more babies a person has, the more assets he has. Forget real estate properties, stock investments, or Jollibee franchises. The real secret to increased wealth is babies.
2. If you have 15 babies, you’re practically wealthy because babies are assets:
2.1 If you need money, you can sell them.
2.2 If you can keep them alive until they can walk, they can one day beg for money in the streets – they’re going to have to anyway because there’s no way in hell you’ll be able to provide for all of them on your own.
3. If ever a person is not able to feed the 15 babies he made, it’s the governments fault, because it’s the governments sole responsibility to make sure that every Filipino baby is fed.
4. The best way a person can contribute to his country is to contribute to its population.
“The RH Bill is wrong because it assumes that reproductive education and contraceptives will effectively reduce cases of abortion.”
1. Reproductive/contraceptive education will have no effect on the number of abortion cases. In my opinion, these abortion cases will not lessen because women will continue to have abortions regardless of whether they are pregnant or not.
2. Abortions cannot be prevented. It’s just something that women naturally do. Like shopping, for example.
“The RH Bill is wrong because it will make people participate in extra-marital and pre-marital sex.”
1. By approving the RH Bill, we as a nation, are practically encouraging our people to engage in immoral activities.
2. We must protect our moral values and reject the RH Bill. Because, currently, not a single Filipino engages in pre-marital sex or extra-marital sex. As soon as this bill is approved, Filipino people will run the streets naked and start a national orgy!
3. The root cause of extra-marital and pre-marital sex is one’s exposure to contraceptives. There is just something in contraceptives that people find very arousing.
4. In Western countries, men lure strange women into bed by showing them condoms.
5. If we ban condoms, absolutely no one would engage in pre-marital or extra-marital sex.
“The RH Bill is wrong because it assumes that parents don’t teach their children about sex.”
1. The truth is that parents talk to their children about sex all the time. It’s so not awkward. The dad usually tells his children how he takes off all his clothes, does a sexy Tiger growl and makes sweet, sweet music with their mother’s body.
2. Also, a father usually advises his daughter that if she’s going to have sex with her boyfriend, she should use a condom. Sometimes the father even drives the daughter to the boyfriend’s house and waits for the couple to finish.
3. Filipino daughters don’t have sex without the father’s permission. Unwanted pregnancies or teen pregnancies never happen to Filipino girls. That’s why we do not need the RH Bill.
“The RH Bill is a conspiracy.”
1. It’s lies, all lies!
“The RH Bill is wrong because the priest said so, and priests are never wrong.”
The biggest reason why we should not pass the RH Bill is because the priests told us that we shouldn’t. As anyone should know, priests, men of the clergy, should be the authority on sexual and reproductive matters because they have the most knowledge and experience with sex and reproduction. They are true sexperts – legendary masters of erotic affairs. If you are a real Catholic, you would do everything they say, because they’re always right.
May sipon ata ang iba jan. Hindi maamoy ang sarcasm. Or baka hindi lang din alam kung ano ang sarcasm. >.<
wow! you got me there for a moment. hahaha. this is by far the best sarcasm i've ever read.
HUMOR NGA PO….. HAHAHAH
You are saying the MRT is not packed with people???? come on!! who the hell are you? don't pretend you are a credible columnist.. Now you're done with soul-searching (which I myself used to do as well) but you got to make sure you won't mess up with such statements.. better have reality check as well.. maniniwala na sana ako, until i found the writer has no credibility
hahahaha laughtrip
grabe andaming bobo
At first, I was getting angry at this author, I nearly didn't finish reading, gladly I did finish, good style. You changed my mind I am now an ANTI-RH Bill advocate! hahaha because I am a catholic and our priests are always right because living in poverty means having nice cars inside the parish church compund and living in that nice house inside the parish church compound…
It was really great of you to think of such a strategy. The sarcasm really worked. This made me support the RH Bill even more.
(Two thumbs up)
I don't find this satirical. Rather, waste of time.
Believe me when I say that I was dumbfounded when I read the first few sentences, no, make that the title itself. I had to scroll back up just to double check if I read the part "Categorized | Humor" not "Rumor"
This should have been a great article as long as people don't claim this as a satirical post. A satire is meant to offer a constructive criticism and give the "taker" (that is the one/s being targeted by this so-called satirical article) what they should do or improve on.
I strongly believe in this bill but if people like these do as well, I might have to change my mind just so I won't be in the same side with them.
People should stop pointing at the wrong things and should start doing/telling what should be done or what is rightful. I'm ashamed of being half Filipino whenever I have to face the same thing over and over again.
dude, you want me to buy you a sense of humor? or 2 dozens of the stuff? for crying out loud!
If the thing is unfunny to him don't lash on him for crying out loud. We don't comment on your inability to read my other comments, or at least understand those you've read. Impulsive poster.
If you're reconsidering your opinion on the RH Bill based on how you perceive others who are on the same side as you are, then I don't think you're supporting the bill for the right reasons, tantamount to saying that you don't understand how badly we need this to be approved.
But, using your line of thinking, I propose you see things this way: if the RH Bill were approved, chances are, all of the people who shouldn't be procreating (because they offend your intellect) shall no longer be procreating; their numbers will lessen and your life will be better.
I really had fun reading this…
~ PASS RH BILL!!
Since nagsawa na akong magcomment dito, okay I've had my fun and I've had my run. I'm moving on to other pressing topics at hand. Haha I think most of you people would be glad to see the back of me.
Final message sa author: I don't know if you've achieved what you wanted but since your article was written in jest then let me just say HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. At least one of your goals was reached.
Farewell, spamfest.
oh? fuck you ah!
^ Nung nabasa ko yung comment mo di ko maiwasang di magreply. What was your reply for my good man?
this is one hilarious and smart article… but it also proved a depressing fact that so many Filipinos have become so unbelievably dumb. To think that this article is categorized under HUMOR.
KIDS WON'T GET YOUR POINT… THAT'S THE PROBLEM :'( and that's so sad
ADULTS didn't get the point either! That's the BIGGER PROBLEM and depressing as well!
True!!! D;
I think… the bigger problem has something to do with EDUCATION
Lies! All of it, lies! We shouldn't read this for this is a lie!
Then again, IF you say all things written here is a lie… Congratulations – that's step one to understanding.
Please, it's time to talk. (Now that isn't a lie.)
It’s so funny. In America after 30+ years of having abortion ON DEMAND, more and more states are pushing the rights of the unborn child! The reasons both scientific and medical are endless.
Do you know that every year people hold “walk for life” events in both the west and east coast? Do you know that the pro choice/pro abortion movement is actually feeling all eyes on them- as more and more scientific evidence that the baby feels pain during the surgical procedure? and that more and more women are coming out of their distress and talk about the pain of abortion? how they were actually left with no choice of support the reason why they go to abortion clinics? http://www.silencenomoreareness.org
http://www.hli.org/ (for more scientifi as well as philosophical arguments against abortion -which actually stemmed from a contraceptive mentality – as the Catholic Church predicted when it release Humanae Vitae in the 60s)
And ever wonder why kids as young as age 11, 12, 13 become pregnant? young fathers? yup, it’s sex education. Sex education could get as long as 6 years and more in the US and other parts of the Western culture and as early as grade school! Do they educate children that sex if for procreation? to build a family? that having a child means commitment? That being in a monogamous marriage does not result to STDs? No- sex education is all about providing false security to people that they are protected when condoms and pills have failure rates. Plus the fact, that it will encourage people to be promiscuous because they falsely think they are protected. Just think of Africa, the STDs don’t go down despite heavy contraceptive promotion. There are also many diseases that render the condom useless.. that’s what they don’t tell you.
Folks, all you need is to make research. After 30 years of abortion/sex education- the facts are finally out there.
And it’s true – Hilary Clinton is a strong advocate of abortion rights- and of course contraception. And if you really are in depth in the global debate on abortion (whose elder sister is contraception) google it. http://www.hli.org/ is one website. And why the West’s population continually decline to almost irreplaceable think ITALY. The only reason why their economy is sustainable is because of heavy immigration. And yes- it’s no secret about the Wests attitude toward sex (and they start in a very young age)- and when they’re not given the full truth about the ‘Gift’ of their sexuality- how do you expect them to feel any connection to their unborn child? obviously, they abort it. That’s why their population suffers.
And yes liberal folks like Hilary Clinton continually delude themselves that the road to prosperity is small population. It’s just the same as saying there’s too many bad breeds like you. I mean cmon, human life is not a commodity. If we act on that principle all we have to look at is the moral degradation happening in the West.. I could go on and on, but the “root” of this problem is to respect marriage and its relationship to sexuality/procreation. Having a child means commitment- it’s a sign of God’s love. That’s why marriage is a life long commitment, it’s for the family, the child/children. Not all consummation ends up in having a child, and the ‘healthy’ approach to spacing children is NFP. But instead of a ‘contraceptive mentality’ the couple adapts ‘a child is a gift from God’. Not a commodity, not a threat. And really- if people just get married for sex- what happens if the spouse gets bed ridden? Therefore, much preparation is needed before getting married.
If we abuse all that- yes we end up like the West are now doing.
This debate has been going on for decades. Really ironic.
Ironic that you're making up assumptions on the bill when it neither states abortion or "killing babies". You're the very reason why the article was made up in the first place. How does it feel to know you wrote that long piece over nothing?
It was for nothing, because the people who replied to him did not really rebuff the idea, only the one who posted the idea.
What he was saying is that it would eventually lead to abortion, kung magagaya tayo sa trend ng US.
If you're going to debate academically, don't insult others please.
I'd say this is a non-sequitur. Sex education is not proven to be the cause of abortion; no correlation based on any statistics have been established to this effect.
Moreover, to bring up morality in a political debate is clearly unethical, as it stems out of the presumption that everyone in the community practices or believes in the same faith. What about those who don't follow in the same faith but their religions allow the use of contraceptives? What about those who do not believe in religion at all? Why is it that people forget to give them a voice?
The point being, that this is a political debate. There's the principle of separation of Church and State for a reason. Arguments based on 'morality' and religious reasons have no room in this forum.
About "religious" reasons, I'd agree with you, but with "morality", well… isn't morality the backbone of every human structure (however flawed their concept of morality is)? I agree it does not really fit well in paper, but in practice… I believe that's a totally different story. Could be wrong, though.
I wrote in 'morality' to distinguish it from morality in the general sense. The first refers to what people think is moral based on religious arguments. The morality that you're referring to is the second, which I think generally asks the question, "is this beneficial/detrimental to the community?" 🙂
I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN x____x sorry for generalization
Putangina. Seriously?
hindi.
gago
tanga! me seryoso bang ganun
OMG. I'm surprised about how many idiotic comments there are. This is obviously sarcastic humor! I'm disappointed by the stupidity of some people. ANYWAY.. This article definitely made my day. Good job to the author!
2. Furthermore, the role of women in society and the universe is to make babies. That’s why God made women. That’s their sole purpose in life. They’re not good for anything else. Ever wonder why there are no women in the clergy? Because they’re not good enough.
wala na… na-bdtrip na 'ko…
bobo ka magbasa ka gago
nakakabadtrip din ang comment mo. nakakabadtrip din ang existence mo kasi hindi mo nacomprehend ung article. nakakahiya kang maging pilipino
ganito na pala satire ngayon
galing galing naman
Pakana ito ng simbahan para magaway-away ang mga Pro-RH bill supporters.
Oh, just in case: My remark is sarcastic.
Hahaha! A lot of people did 't get the joke. The Philippines is in grave danger :))
mali!!!! hindi naman inutos ng gobyerno na maganak ng madami then sila magpapakain..lol.. at kung gagamtin mo lang ang anak mo parang lang kumita, wag mo nang isilang dahil mag magnda na yung taong gagawa ng ganun ang maghirap sa kalsada kesa ang bata… ikaw ang moron!!! yung writer netoh…. wag ka lalabas sa public.. nakakahiya ka.
bobo ka. d ka maka intindi gago
Dinelete na ata nya yung Facebook nya. HAHAHA. Di ko na masearch e. Aw.
this is underestimating the power of the women
I don't want us to extinct but don't say that women are good for nothing
Nakakahiyang maging Pro-RH bill tuloy. I thought only Anti-RH supporters are morons. Our camp is full of it too, I see. IT'S A SATIRICAL ESSAY. Now, back on the real issue: RH Bill should be passed asap.
Er… was that supposed to be funny? I immediately got that it was satirical, but as I was reading it, I didn't laugh or smile once.
Okay. At first, I was curious as to what the writer of this article was on. The last thing I wanted to see was someone else ignorantly peddling the RH bill…
Then I got to the part about the dinosaurs and died laughing. AWESOME. CUDOS. <3
this article is super funny… I love the creativity of the author… 🙂 Too bad that some didn't get the message…
two thumbs up… :)))
Of course we want the national orgy!
You did not just spoil portal 2 for me… you did not!!! (hehe)
Hilarious XD
Well, except for the dumb people. Medyo nakakadowner un
plus the women being not good enough statement….
i know this is a very sarcastic article pero curious lang….totoo ba yung lecture sa megamall thing?hehehe
Most definitely. Here are the video recordings of the Megamall event:
Tastebuds, Tsunamis, and the Thorough Twisting of Truth: A Recap of the Anti-RH Forum at SM Megamall (1 of 3 Parts): https://filipinofreethinkers.org/2011/05/02/tasteb…
Tastebuds, Tsunamis, and the Thorough Twisting of Truth: A Recap of the Anti-RH Forum at SM Megamall (2 of 3 Parts): https://filipinofreethinkers.org/2011/05/03/tasteb…
Tastebuds, Tsunamis, and the Thorough Twisting of Truth: A Recap of the Anti-RH Forum at SM Megamall (3 of 3 Parts): https://filipinofreethinkers.org/2011/05/04/tasteb…
If you really want to get serious with this topic- watch this video on how 41% of pregnancies in New York end in abortion. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sski0eebAAo
As you all know, they have very aggressive sex education in America, condoms are practically available in candy bowls. But this contraceptive mentality divorces procreation, marriage and family.
Therefore, people being so used to having sex just for recreation and suddenly gets pregnant- they see the baby as a threat. And end up going to abortion clinics as a back up contraception. Hot topic yan sa States- papunta pa lang tayo sa malaking kamalian ng mga kano.
That's assuming we take exactly the same steps they did. What we can do is to analyze where we think they went wrong during the implementation stage and avoid making the same mistakes. It isn't the sex education per se that's bad, because when we're armed with information, we are able to think more critically thus leading to wiser decisions; it's the implementation that's the problem. Perhaps they weren't focusing on the psycho-social implications of sex, thus leading to it being viewed as a recreational activity devoid of any ramifications.
Very well written 🙂
ok wait…. is this article really against the RH bill? confusing.hahaha:D parang nagegets ko na kung bakit yung mga point ng writer ay pointless… tama kaya ako?hehe… 😀
It's amazing how people think they know everything when they can't even begin to comprehend what satire is.
The comments to this post proves 2 things:
1) A lot of pinoys are dumbfucks.
2) If most pinoys have an IQ of dumbfuck level like the people commenting, then we REALLY NEED the RH bill. Watch the movie "Idiocracy" to see my point.
YES! Tama! hahaha allergic pa man din daw ako sa tanga haha
I think the term is matabobo. (Matapobre, matabobo, gets?xp)
parang hindi pinag-isipan ang post na ito… parang yung post na ito ay isinulat ng taong gusto lang basta kumontra sa RH bill… I don't think the writer even had a point…
parang hindi pinag-isipan ang comment na ito… parang yung comment na ito ay isinulat ng taong gusto lang basta kumontra sa author… I don't think "napadaan lang" even had a point…
ano daw sinabi ni "napadaan lang"???
hahahahah ayan! eto ang mga gusto kong lecturers sa sarcasm seminar ko hahaha
Hahaha, this post made my day.
Nice! Sa wakas, may nagsulat ng article na in-your-face kung barahin ang mga laban sa RH Bill
To those who got offended/irritated/irked:
DO YOU NOT KNOW SARCASM/SATIRE?!
Well this is exactly what the author wrote about the RH bill. Come on people. Get some sense of humor :))
Gosh some comments just prove our illiteracy -___- (to think these people have access to a computer)
LOL at everyone who didn't get the joke.
ang pangit naman ng reality na sinasabi dito… biruin mo no priest are wrong!!! wat thah !@#$@#??? tao lang mga pari no… dami pari ang kung ano anu ginagawa… ginagamit lang ang simbahan… tapos sell your babies kung wala kang pera… assests like furniture??? pwede ibenta… harhar har
bobo ka
isa ka pa..ewan ko sau..tsk
dude, read the article again… even better if you read all the comments =)
This is the most gibberish article ever made.
Kung pwede lng sanang magmura ginawa ko na
sino ba pumipigil sayo?
go lang…dami na nga mura dito e..
nice try… RH Bill will still pass, though.
your opinion is appreciated.
dude, try researching the meaning of SATIRE and read this again
hehehe! guys! this is categorized as HUMOR. easy lang po. 😀
at first i was raising an eyebrow while reading,
but even before reaching the middle part i was
enjoying it already.. ^^,
people need to read this.
this made me LOLed so many times..
whoever wrote this is the man. 😉
Nasaang kategorya po tayo? 😀
God, the sudden revelation of the intellectual capacity of people to take satirical pieces is starting to bug me.. LOLOLOLOL!
DUSSTTIIIIIN.. IDOL! HAHAHAHAHA. HAVEN'T HAD A GOOD LAUGH SINCE THE START OF SUMMER VACATION.. CAPSLOCK! IKR! FUCKYEAH. LOLOLOLOL
Amazing. The comments here can make a good study for english comprehension for Pinoys no? Grabe. Parang marami talagang di nakaintindi. Its very basic. I don't how you cannot get the humor.
I was already laughing at the ocean floor not having people … LOL Joke yun! JOKE. LOL I wonder if this was written in Filipino if Pinoys will get it already.. baka hindi pa din no?
This is so SAD. Really, really SAD. No more to RH bill .. Give all the budget to the Department of Education!
These people are the main reason why we need the RH bill LOL
agree with this. 🙂
statements are funny but i think di dapat ginagawang joke yung ganitong klaseng topic… maybe that's why dami kaagad nag-react negatively…opinion ko lang yan…walang mang-aaway ok?
don't you get it…it's actually sarcasm. the author seem to be pro-RH bill. he uses such arguments to further piss pro-RH bill people, in that way he ignites the hatred more towards the "catholics" and the priest…etc. nice one.. but you did not fool me.
So many people don't have an intelligent sense of humor. This is sarcasm at its finest. Kudos to the writer of the article. 🙂