I Killed My Guardian Angel – Is That OK?

“From being Lucifer, son of the morning, the lightbearer, the brilliant one, the shining one, he now became Satan, the adversary, the slanderer, the accuser, the archrebel, the archenemy, the devil, the destroyer…”
– Angels, we never walk alone, Walton John Brown-

Cortona_Guardian_Angel_01

I was born on a date when the feast of the holy guardian angel is being celebrated. My mother always believed that I was saved by an angel when I was six years old when I fell from the balcony of my grandmother’s old Spanish house. I was perfectly fine after the fall, because I landed on my father’s chicken pen, covered by fishing nets. Nevertheless, my mother insisted that I was totally unhurt because my guardian angel took hold of me – that is what they all insist.

Today, I am confronted by two forms of religious and maybe mythical consciousness. On one hand, there is the form of consciousness that understands all human beliefs through freethinking and logic. And on the other hand, there is the form of consciousness that is inverted, which irresponsibly enslaves the minds through mysticism. Certainly, the intellect has both the authority and the power to follow or resist whichever it wishes to – and I chose to follow freethinking.

This is the point where I felt the need to reorient myself towards the self. I strongly believe that an individual should arrive at his or her own religious beliefs independent of any church.

This is the point where I killed my guardian angel.

I couldn’t care less what happened billions of years ago and whether time began or not. I only care about this lifetime. Time alone is fair and just.

What difference does it make whether you believe in angels or not?

Maybe believing in it is just an opinion, like believing that Noynoy Aquino is the best next Philippine President; or a personal trust or reliance, like trusting a quack doctor; or it can mean part of faith, giving your whole heart, thus restricting the self to that belief because it requires adoration and submission.

As I observe among the faithful, possible reasons why they believe in angels are;

  • They need to – it’s like believing in angels will save them when they walk through a dark Metro Manila alley.
  • Believing makes them feel good and it’s fun.
  • They believe in Angelology or the scientific study of angels, their hierarchy, etc.
  • They believe those who tell stories about actually meeting an angel
  • They believe they met one themselves.
  • They believe it because it’s part of religion.

But I thanked my parents for teaching me to believe in angels when I was a child – like believing in Santa Claus, it gives me the feeling of wonder, fascination, curiosity and excitement. Like those stories about fairies and elves, angels still entertain me.

Do you believe in angels, or have you killed them too?

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by Yodz Insigne

11 comments

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  2. Do you kill your angel or just change to another one? Do angel or santa clause really exist? NO, because they cannot be identified; for to exist means to be identified or has identity in reality.

    I like Lucifer, the lightbearer, the shining one, as a symbol of humanity. By discovering the knowledge about reality, he was condemn by theistic/religious as evil, as satan, by nature (Originial sin). It is irrationality that is evil!

  3. I was almost run over by a speeding jeep in front of my school. My belief in angels led me to believe that I was pulled back by an invisible force. Now, looking back really hard, I think it was pure instinct foreseen by my peripheral vision.

    I don't think I killed my guardian angel, but if there was one, he/she/(it?) might have resigned the position a long time ago. It's been a long time since I've called cosmic beings for help. Someone else probably needs one more than I do.

  4. "They need to – it’s like believing in angels will save them when they walk through a dark Metro Manila alley"

    There is this certain name that I repeat to myself whenever I am in seemingly dangerous situations. I think remembering the name (the person) lessens my anxiety and of course, that helps. I think it's the same way with most people. The thought of angels give them comfort. However, the belief becomes dangerous in itself when one sacrifices reason just to benefit a "belief", like when one person could have done something practical to avoid a dangerous place/person/situation, but chose, instead to just trust his "angel" to be his "savior".

  5. They make for good heart-warming inspirational stories, but that's just about it.

    I'd rather admire the angels I can actually see… tulad nila Angel Locsin, Angel Aquino… 🙂

  6. I don't believe in angels but I don't kill them, you're too harsh.
    But I love them to be true, and have one for my self.
    Hey, can they survive in outer space and carry me there? I want to go there, but I've given up hope that I can be an astronaut someday…
    maybe I can be a 'kalawakanaut', Filipino astronaut…

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