I used to support the RH Bill. I no longer do. By the end of this document, neither would you. I have not supported the RH Bill since I attended a lecture in Megamall about the truth behind it. That lecture truly enlightened me. My only hope is that this holy light of enlightenment passes through your monitor screen, into your optical nerves, and into your heart so it can touch your soul (because the soul is in the heart). My intent here is not to antagonize Pro-RH people, but to enlighten – so listen up, you narrow-minded morons. Open your minds to the real truth…
The RH Bill will put Filipinos at risk of extinction, because, at its very core, the RH Bill is an extension of a secret, global conspiracy – a western attempt – to implement principles of eugenics on unsuspecting, inferior populations in order to exclude them from the human evolutionary process, at the end of which would, at the apex, summon forth THE MASTER RACE. Anyone who failed to see this after the lecture is ignorant. I advise him or her to do his or her research, better yet, do some soul-searching to discover the real truth, because the truth is in our hearts, we just have to listen to it.
Initially, my layman’s interpretation of the RH Bill led me to think that it was just a bill meant to help educate the uninformed about ways to prevent them from fornicating their way to a very bad financial situation. My ignorant mind devised 10 simple points as to why the RH Bill was right.
I thought:
1. The minimum wage – the lowest an employer can pay an employee – of a non-agricultural Filipino worker is P404.
2. If there were 20 working days in a month (because most people don’t work on the weekend), the average minimum-wage-earning Filipino would earn around P8,000 a month.
3. Let’s call that person, Joey. If Joey, like other human beings, ate food on a regular basis, he will spend around P70/day on food (and that’s a very, very conservative assumption). There are 30 days in a month, so I guess, that would amount to P2,100 a month.
4. But if Joey had a wife that he loved, he might want to feed her too. Feeding her would cost another P2,100 a month.
5. P8,000 – P4,200 = P3,800
6. If Joey and his wife rented a home, or used electricity and bathed from time to time, the amount left from Joey’s salary would be significantly reduced. Let’s say their utility bills and rent amounted to P1800.
7. P3,800 – P1800 = P2,000
8. P2,000 is a lot of money, but I don’t think Joey and his wife should have more than 3 children, right? I mean, I don’t have children, but just by looking at one, I can safely assume that they cost more than P1,000/month. Babies need milk, diapers, toys, immunity injections, baby medicine…
9. From this I deduced that babies cost money. If babies cost money, I theorized that having more babies would cost more money. And from this data, I observed that a person who spent a lot of money on children, but didn’t earn a lot of money, would soon be broke and unable to provide for both himself and his children. Another word for this broke situation is poverty.
10. I theorized that a person can avoid being poor by making less babies. So, I thought that steps should be taken to inform people about this very little known fact. I also thought that the government should make contraceptives accessible so that people who don’t earn a lot can properly manage the little resources that they have. That’s why I supported the RH Bill.
But now I know that I was wrong. And here are some of the reasons why I know that. By the way, before I continue, I must say that this is the truth, guys. In fact, it’s more than the truth. It’s the Catholic truth, which means that it’s truer and more true than the regular truth.
I know that the issue of the RH Bill is not a religious issue, but make sure you pay attention if you want your soul to be saved. Here are some of the things I learned from the lecture I learned:
“The RH Bill is wrong because it assumes that the Philippines is overpopulated.”
I agree. I, myself, have observed that the Philippine is NOT overpopulated. In fact, if you use your common sense and think about it, you will realize a few things:
1. We are not overpopulated! Look at the mountains, the jungles, the caves and the ocean floor. There are no people there!
2. If we were really overpopulated, we would have trouble travelling. But if you go to EDSA, there’s no traffic. When you ride the MRT, it’s not packed with people.
3. Students in public schools are well educated because the teacher to student ratio is very low. In fact, because of our low population the government can basically guarantee that all public school students are provided books, notebooks and other school supplies.
“The RH Bill is wrong because it assumes that contraceptives are good for mankind and women.”
1. I agree, the RH Bill is not good for women because it might draw a woman away from her one, true, universal purpose – the uninterrupted production of healthy babies.
2. Furthermore, the role of women in society and the universe is to make babies. That’s why God made women. That’s their sole purpose in life. They’re not good for anything else. Ever wonder why there are no women in the clergy? Because they’re not good enough.
3. Contraceptives would allow women to enjoy the benefits of physical intimacy while maintaining a successful and productive career, if she so chooses. That is so wrong. Only men should be able to enjoy that privilege.
4. Women should get pregnant every single time they have sex and only immoral women enjoy sex without the possibility of conception. In fact, a better alternative would be for women, in general, to follow the example made by Mother Mary – to learn how to conceive without having sex.
“The RH bill will put Filipinos at risk of extinction!”
1. I agree. If we pass the RH bill, we will become extinct, like dinosaurs. The dinosaurs are all dead. If we don’t want to be extinct, we should not pass the RH Bill. I mean, do you really want to be a dinosaur?
2. In my opinion, it wouldn’t even be far-fetched to speculate that the most probable reason the dinosaurs became extinct was because they used contraceptives.
3. Population decline is just bad for nations. Just look at the countries which have a declining population – Italy, Japan and Singapore. They’re in such a bad shape. The Philippines obviously has a better economy and has a higher literacy rate than these countries. In fact, many Italians, Japanese, and Singaporeans go to the Philippines for work. That only goes to show that a decline in population is bad for the economy.
“Our population is our biggest asset!”
1. In my opinion, people should make as many babies as they can because the population is not a problem. In fact, the more babies a person has, the more assets he has. Forget real estate properties, stock investments, or Jollibee franchises. The real secret to increased wealth is babies.
2. If you have 15 babies, you’re practically wealthy because babies are assets:
2.1 If you need money, you can sell them.
2.2 If you can keep them alive until they can walk, they can one day beg for money in the streets – they’re going to have to anyway because there’s no way in hell you’ll be able to provide for all of them on your own.
3. If ever a person is not able to feed the 15 babies he made, it’s the governments fault, because it’s the governments sole responsibility to make sure that every Filipino baby is fed.
4. The best way a person can contribute to his country is to contribute to its population.
“The RH Bill is wrong because it assumes that reproductive education and contraceptives will effectively reduce cases of abortion.”
1. Reproductive/contraceptive education will have no effect on the number of abortion cases. In my opinion, these abortion cases will not lessen because women will continue to have abortions regardless of whether they are pregnant or not.
2. Abortions cannot be prevented. It’s just something that women naturally do. Like shopping, for example.
“The RH Bill is wrong because it will make people participate in extra-marital and pre-marital sex.”
1. By approving the RH Bill, we as a nation, are practically encouraging our people to engage in immoral activities.
2. We must protect our moral values and reject the RH Bill. Because, currently, not a single Filipino engages in pre-marital sex or extra-marital sex. As soon as this bill is approved, Filipino people will run the streets naked and start a national orgy!
3. The root cause of extra-marital and pre-marital sex is one’s exposure to contraceptives. There is just something in contraceptives that people find very arousing.
4. In Western countries, men lure strange women into bed by showing them condoms.
5. If we ban condoms, absolutely no one would engage in pre-marital or extra-marital sex.
“The RH Bill is wrong because it assumes that parents don’t teach their children about sex.”
1. The truth is that parents talk to their children about sex all the time. It’s so not awkward. The dad usually tells his children how he takes off all his clothes, does a sexy Tiger growl and makes sweet, sweet music with their mother’s body.
2. Also, a father usually advises his daughter that if she’s going to have sex with her boyfriend, she should use a condom. Sometimes the father even drives the daughter to the boyfriend’s house and waits for the couple to finish.
3. Filipino daughters don’t have sex without the father’s permission. Unwanted pregnancies or teen pregnancies never happen to Filipino girls. That’s why we do not need the RH Bill.
“The RH Bill is a conspiracy.”
1. It’s lies, all lies!
“The RH Bill is wrong because the priest said so, and priests are never wrong.”
The biggest reason why we should not pass the RH Bill is because the priests told us that we shouldn’t. As anyone should know, priests, men of the clergy, should be the authority on sexual and reproductive matters because they have the most knowledge and experience with sex and reproduction. They are true sexperts – legendary masters of erotic affairs. If you are a real Catholic, you would do everything they say, because they’re always right.
i pray that god grant the author of this article some enlightenment. this is probably some prissy rich kid who has never truly experienced hardship. here's an idea, try living with 8 kids on 40 pesos a day then talk about how our population is our greatest asset.
um.. err.. sarcasm kasi siya dapat eh :$
Don't invoke the Lord in your "educated" reply my good man. You just lessen the numbers on the Church's side every time you do.
First of all, no offense. but you're the one who's a narrow-minded moron.
dustin_celestino's WTF lines:
1. “The RH Bill is wrong because the priest said so, and priests are never wrong.”
– Really? Are you serious?
2. “The RH bill will put Filipinos at risk of extinction!”
– LMAO! and you brought up dinosaurs? ………
3. We are not overpopulated! Look at the mountains, the jungles, the caves and the ocean floor. There are no people there!
– Oh god. you're really funny.
by the way, you're really good at math. 🙂 Cheers to that! moron!
is this a serious comment? or is this sarcasm too?
the nerve to call the author a moron.. OMG!
tama!.. bakit kaya ang daming tao na hindi makagets na this article is SARCASTIC? =/
sarcasm to dude.. sarcasm at it's finest :))
Lol, love it when people talks like they know what they are talking about.
I really hope you're trolling. If not, I feel sorry for you. lrn2satire.
bobo. bwiset.
Here's another one… Gusto ko tumambling habang binabasa ang comment mo.
epic facepalm
I don't think satires work well with Filipinos. We take everything too personal.
I love the humor and the people who didn't get it.
Great article! I have to agree with everything the author said! RH BILL SUCKS!!!
EPIC TROLL
close this page. turn off your laptops/computers. go read a book.
P1000/month sa isang anak?! before you say something like this, THINK. ASK. INQUIRE. P1000 is just for the MILK. it doesn't include the diapers and others, DUMB ASS!
and before you comment on the post: READ EVERYTHING.
hayy. may bobo na namang Pilipino.
Next time you try to convince the readers, use sources to back up your claims. Although I respect your opinion and have read through the article, it is wrong to say statements and overgeneralize just to get your point across.
dude are you for real?!
Sorry for being stupid… I was surprised when I read the "Filipino will be extinct" part…
I understand that this is a satirical article or piece of work.
Good for you. That takes you to the upper percentile of INTELLIGENCE among those who commented here
Sorry for being stupid… I was surprised when read the "Filipino will be extinct" part…
I understand that this is a satirical article or pice of work.
Hahaha aaaah sarcastic naman pala. lol
nakakatuwa pong isipin na marami talga sa mga kababayan natin ang active sa mga gantong usapin, nakakatuwa kc marami satin ang bukas ang isipan pero may isa lang po akong napansin…. kanya kanya talga tayo…. nabasa ko pong lahat ng mga nakapost…. yung mga ilan… tinutuligsa ng mga nakaunawa (daw) yung mga hindi daw nakaunawa.. sa nilalaman ng post ni Dustin Celestino. Unang una sa mga ganitong usapin…. wag muna nating tignan sana ang tama at maling panig ng usapin, unawain na muna sana natin na bawat suhestiyon ng bawat isa, at nahinahon natin sabihin kung sa palagay nyo eh mali ang kanyang pagkakaintindi sa nabasa nya. Igalang ang opinyon ng iba. Magbuklod buklod tayo… at mas maganda na isipin muna natin ang mararamdaman ng isa bago mag salita…. maraming salamat po….
Dustin! very good! I get your point! I will support the RH BILL! 😀
“The RH Bill is wrong because it assumes that the Philippines is overpopulated.” – Then explain why like India and China, we are outsourced by big companies to take on manual labors and other tedious business processes?
“The RH Bill is wrong because it assumes that contraceptives are good for mankind and women.” – It is good for many reasons, that's what the RH bill is all about, duh.
“The RH bill will put Filipinos at risk of extinction!” – I laughed at this.
“Our population is our biggest asset!” – Yeah right, that's why we earn more than other countires in the world. /sarcasm
“The RH Bill is wrong because it assumes that reproductive education and contraceptives will effectively reduce cases of abortion.” – So what if it doesn't reduce abortion? The contraceptives will still work and be effective and that is what the RH bill is all about.
“The RH Bill is wrong because it will make people participate in extra-marital and pre-marital sex.” – And you're point is? Morals? Morality is subjective. Most of the world practice pre-marital sex. Most successful people practice it. Having pre-marital sex will not affect your intelligence.
“The RH Bill is wrong because it assumes that parents don’t teach their children about sex.” – What does this had to do with anything?
“The RH Bill is a conspiracy.” – This is the statement that makes you a lunatic.
“The RH Bill is wrong because the priest said so, and priests are never wrong.” – yeah right, so the sun still revolves around the sun? Hmmm, I guess our greatest philosophers and scientists owe the Church an apology.
I hope this article is a satire, and I admit it to be funny.
the truth is, i don't get your point juan…
kua juan… kasama ata sa RH bill ung sex ed sa skul, kc ung comment mo sabi sa isang line di mo nagets.. pero correct me if you're right.
ang gulo mo kuya juan, kc sarcastic ung article eh may mga complaint ka naman sa post mo per line, pero sa huli sana satire lang? bkit ganon?
Tama. hahaha ibig sabihin di nya nagets na satire lang?ahahahah
super funny talaga! hahahaha
yes dude its a satire!
THIS IS A LOAD OF BULLSHIT!!!!!
What the fuck are you saying that "WOMEN ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO ENJOY A CAREER" and only men are allowed to have that privilege?
NEWSFLASH: This is the 21st century, you sexist moron!
sarcasm lng po yung article.. pero sa pinapakita mo di ka nga good enough.. 😛
ang bobo mo dimple tangina kaka awa ka
Damn…
Philippines has better economy than Singapore? Haha… Kung maganda ang economy ng Pilipinas, edi sana walang mahihirap na tao na pakalatkalat sa kalye…
Filipinoes will be extinct? Paano? Tell me… This is a crappy article…
please read the article again, and again, and again… until you get the writer's point
J-MoriMori-GM naman.. :O please read between the lines, understand the context and the way the author wrote the article.. hehehehe… God Bless! 🙂
If you said this during the '60s… YOU'D FAIL HORRIBLY.
in that case.. correct.. may time nga daw before na sabi ng phil history teacher namin nung HS, PhP1=US$2..
hhmm alam ko kung pano maeextict ang pinoy, buy breeding more dumbfucks like you haha
isa pa tong bobo..haha..i love scanning the comments section of this article. hindi ko alam na andami pala tlgang bobo sa pilipinas..hahaha
Astig ang pamamaraan. Isinampal sa mukha ng mga Anti-RH ang kanilang walang kwentang mga argumento. Mahusay 😀
Yun nga lang, may mga Pro-RH na nag-away naman. Yung mga hindi naka-gets at yung mga nagmamataas. Easy lang tayo mga tsong 🙂 Magkakakampi naman. Paliwanagan lang yan. Pare-pareho naman pananaw natin e 🙂
oh, and that goes to everyone who can't understand the article as it was meant to be understood.
Your a fuckin moron! nuff said
Your a fuckin moron! nuff said
See, there's a whole world of difference between YOUR and YOU'RE.
pakyu! moron moron ka pa! ulol!
still doesn't change the fact na marami paring loopholes sa RH bill na siyang pwedeng gamitin para mangurakot. until they fix the loopholes only then will i favor the RH bill.
Exactly! This whole debate is a propaganda. The Catholic Church should have just shut up. Now the issue became a pro or anti Contraceptives.
Its not about that at all. Its about giving contraceptives away for free!
CONTRACEPTIVES are LEGAL NOW. All the other mumbo jumbo are already being done now.
Read the RH bill. It will be another platform for graft and corruption.
eto dapat yung tunay na debate eh, whether the government should spend a large amount of money for the RH bill or not. hindi ung pagiging pro-abortion/anti-life ng bill. anti-abortion ako pero pro-RH ako.
"bobo ka ba??? satire nga to tanga!!! masyado mong sineseryoso eh"
Buti na lang kaunti lang yung mga ganyang post sa mga comment na ACTUAL na nagdidiscuss about sa issue at hindi sa kung sarcastic to o hindi.
Anong references mo? And I quote: "Just look at the countries which have a declining population – Italy, Japan and Singapore. They’re in such a bad shape. The Philippines obviously has a better economy and has a higher literacy rate than these countries." Where in hell did you get your references? Alam mo ba ang pinagsasasabi mo? Nakakahiya ka bilang isang Pinoy. Wala kang karapatan magbigay ng ganyang klaseng artikulo dahil bulok ang references mo. Do you honestly believe we have a better economy than Singapore?! Are you out of your mind?! Oh, sorry I think you don't have that. And seriously, Filipinos will get extinct?! WTF, if you have nothing to say better than this trash, STFU!
nyahaha ikaw ang nkakahiya. d mo gets ang idea ng writer! lol read between the lines dude
pwede mong basahin ulit ang artilce and realize that it's satire?
cmon, dude. CMON.
gosh.. you're slow ~_~
Haay… Dito mo talaga malalaman na madami paring "bobong" pilipino. Simpleng "panguuyam(sarcasm in tagalog)" lang di pa maintindihan.
P.S. Btw, t's SATIRE not SARCASM. There is a difference. Please Google. 🙂
The difference between satire and sarcasm is the difference between surgery and butchery. — Edward Nichols
conspiracy?? extinction?
more singaporeans, japanese, italians work here in our country?
low teacher-student ration?
Contraceptives would allow women to enjoy the benefits of physical intimacy while maintaining a successful and productive career, if she so chooses. That is so wrong. Only men should be able to enjoy that privilege?
Furthermore, the role of women in society and the universe is to make babies. That’s why God made women. That’s their sole purpose in life?
——————– this is so pathetic…complete bullcrap
pre, in case you didn't notice, the article was making fun of the stupid anti-rh arguments.
isa pa tong tanga :))
mahirap bang intindihin na satirical/sarcastic ang blog na to? seriously people.
oo kasi maraming tangang Pilipino ang hindi alam ang salitang satirical at sarcastic
…but I do want to be a dinosaur, I really do.
Great article. Love the satire, and how it attracts trolls and stupidity like flies to honey. Made my day, it certainly did.
Poe's Law, stated more formally, says that a sufficiently fantastical religious idea is indistinguishable from nonsense, therefore it is impossible to know for sure if someone promoting those views is crazy or merely performing a parody. Conversely, real fundamentalism can easily be mistaken for a parody of fundamentalism.
Great piece of satirical writing! Subtle at first but completely evident at the end. Kudos to the writer! But seriously, why can't most Filipinos understand satire?
nice post for incoming mother's day.. 🙂
hindi ako nagbbased sa Church pero for me, everyone has the right to live. sana naisip ng iba na what if kayo sana yung ipapanganak pero di natuloy kasi gumamit yung parents ninyo ng contraceptives.
Henry, most contraceptives are about preventing conception. meaning nobody is killed.
I'm not saying that someone got killed. Ibig ko lang sabihin paano kung ikaw ang dapat na mabubuo sana pero di nga dahil sa contraceptives.
tawag diyan kapalaran
ito ang halimbawa sa hindi nakagets ng nakasulat 🙂 mabuhay ka henry at mga katulad mo.
@jake – baka ikaw ang hindi nakagets? ay teka nagets mo din ba ang comment ko baka kasi hindi din! 🙂
di mo gets na ang article ay pro-rh bill. tanga ka lang talaga. 🙂
@jake – ikaw ang tanga alam mo yun. bago ko pa matapos basahin yung topic alam ko na. filing ko naisip mo na sarcasm yung topic kasi nabasa mo lang yung mga comment ng iba. pakiintindi po yung comment ko or gusto mo ako pa mag explain? yung unang nagcomment before you naintindihan yung point ko.. tsk!
Ah Henry, the RH bill is not about legalizing contraception. Its freely available in Mercury Drug Store. RH is about giving it away for free. Using the argument of contraceptives being not Pro-life is what's fueling everyone to go against RH. That is not the point.
I am pro contraceptives but anti RH bill. Read the fine lines of the bill. This whole debate is a propaganda. Someone will be profiting from all of this!
I know, you're right. but the RH bill also promote the use of contraceptives and that's what i'm against it. Kapag nasa bill na kasi, ang mentality ng tao eh nawawala na yung fear of using it kasi nasa law na.
anyway, I think you're smarter than other people around here.
FEAR OF USING WHAT?! condoms?
ph33r teh condom!
I fear the day condom's might cut circulation in my junk leading to atrophy and possible amputation.
Or getting struck by God.
Or it getting broken resulting in a pregnancy wherein i am not 100% sure i can provide.
We could have been smarter in choosing our words. We can prove that we are more intellectual by proving with points, not with degrading words because they add no value at all. We make ourselves look like just a bunch of bigot trolls, concluding and claiming premature victory, and closing our minds even to the arguments of our enemies. How sad.
nde k nman ipapanganak eh kc in the 1st place nde k nman mabubuo…
@Moja de Pon – It comes out into your mouth. but what im telling here is that the opporunity. kung ikaw nga sana ang mabubuo pro the contraceptives prevent it, got my point? 🙂
I would be glad imo since my would-be parents are responsible enough to know that they cannot support another child =)
you also glad that the time you born, there is no RH Bill! 🙂
please stop trying to write in English
pagbigyan mo na feeling English Spokening e. nagmumukha daw kasi siyang matalino LOLZ.
Don't bring it there grrr .. thats a very stupid remark. 😉
What if I am a nihilistic serial killer, who wants to eat your babies? Or downright depressed at this pathetic excuse of a life? Or having to listen to an intolerant-bigoted-closedminded-pro-life-fundamentalist preach about how his morals are above everything else, wherein a billion people will think he is just an idiot?
Think of the opportunity!
hmm, so kunwari, may asawa ako. we decided to have sex. pero biglang nagbago isip ko, natulog na lang kami. ibig sabihin nun, murderer na kami? 🙁 kawawa naman ung imaginary baby na hindi na-conceive… 🙁
@trollolol – what do you think? i think those two have commons but they are totally different. anyway I don't remembered saying that using a contraceptives makes you murderer. I'm saying that you prevent the opportunity. 🙂
anything you do in life practically prevents the opportunity for something. for example, by posting in this forum, you prevent the opportunity to do other things, for example, malay mo, kung nagbasa ka pala ng isang book instead of magpost dito, ikaw na sana naka-discover ng gamot sa AIDS or something.
walang sense ang mga what ifs. yun lang ang point ng mga di naga-agree sa yo.
magtagalog ka na lang. nakakaasar ka eh. trying hard mag-english
I wish Hitler's dad withdrew from Hitler's mom. That was a wasted opportunity.
what?? hindi ka mako-conceive! ibig sabihin hindi ka mabubuo! why would you even think about that??
@avyadam – I don't need to explain it to you since I told it in my previous comment. It's not my problem for having a hard time to analyze my simple explanation… 🙂
say for example:
paalis na ako ng bahay. kaso nagutom ako, kumain ako ng sandwich. dahil sa paggawa ng sandwich na un, hindi ko na-meet ang isang babae (girl A) na syang dapat na mapapangasawa ko. instead, i ended up marrying another woman (girl B). ibig sabihin ako ung pumatay sa unborn child ni girl A? ganyang level ng reasoning kasi ung sinasabi mo eh.
ang totoo, kung walang conception, edi walang mapapatay na life. yung what ifs mo, masyadong mababaw para pagbasehan ng moral decisions. tignan mo ung example ko, what if hindi ako kumain ng sandwich? edi iba napangasawa ko, at minurder ko naman ngayon ung unborn children ni girl B.
or another example, pano kaya kung ung magulang ni hitler, naisipang matulog na lang kesa mag-sex, which would lead to hitler's conception?
trollolol, hahaha. hindi nya yan maanalyze. hindi nya nga nireplyan post mo kanina e. kahit sariling nyang flow of logic, hindi nya masundan. HAHAHAHA
tinry ko na nga maki-level sa kanya eh. haha. makapanood na nga lang ng tv. WAIT! pag nanood ako ng tv, baka ipanganak ang susunod na Hitler!!! O__O
eh bobo ka ba. you wouldn't know that kung hindi ka nga nabuhay. konting isip naman.
@Henry, kung hindi ka ipapanganak, wala. It's as simple as that. Wala. Hindi ka malungkot, hindi ka masaya, hindi ka bitter. Wala. Iniisip mo siguro na conscious ka na bago ka pinanganak at capable of hurt and the whole world of emotions na kaya mo ngayon.
If everyone has the right to live, sino ba ang ibig mong sabihin na everyone?
Kua henry about sa main comment mo:
kung d ka pinlano ni God na mabuo kahit anong way, d ka mabubuo.. kahit mag contraceptives man o etc..
nku mgagatwiran ka nga ung tama
the article is great…but what affects me the most was the comments i have seen…seriously those who didn't get the sarcasm in this article are a bunch of stupid people…if you'll use your brain you can really see what he truly meant…
this s frickin' dumb article :)) it 10000% doesn't make sense at all :))
one word – SATIRE
sa mga bobo, hindi ba ninyo napansin na reverse psychology ang article na ito. super comment naman kayo and super explain. use your brains and open your eyes para maenlighten kayo ng tunay….
hahaha! i agree! Gosh. People have lost their common sense and humor.
hahahah.. found another funny comment!! 😀
Just like the T-Rex on board Noah's arc, this article Rocks!!!! Off with 'em Flat Earthers!
"2. Abortions cannot be prevented. It’s just something that women naturally do. Like shopping, for example."
ha? ambabaw pre. revise please. it's either you impose the wrong idea or none at all.
it's a satirical, oxymoronic article. 🙂
I didn't know Filipinos are soooo innocent, they don't even understand what sarcasm is.
A pat to the the author. Now we have proof of how "intellectual" Filipinos are. Of course, who wouldn't agree when their comments just show how FAST they CAUGHT on the SARCASM.
Hurray for the Philippines! There's really no need for the RH Bill cause our country definitely produce the BEST MINDS in the world!
<By the way guys, please note the sarcasm here. Just in case….hmmm>
People trying to explain the sarcasm here makes me doubt about free thinking. I mean, why do we need to explain? Even if others don't understand, come on, stupidity is not such a bad thing.
Hooray for knowing satire! We prove that we sure know a lot! 😀
I just know this is going to be a long comment, but I hope you’ll bear with me on this one.
I think this is a very smart way of putting most (if not all) of the arguments against the RH Bill out there. Best way to defeat an argument is to point out the flawed logic behind it, and this piece definitely did just that, without having to resort to technical terms used by rhetoricians.
I completely agree with the writer on this.
@JuanTalino — I understand your point; I’ve read the proposed bill, too. However, don’t you think that the potential for corruption is greatly outweighed by our necessity to educate our people regarding their own bodies? While it pains me to say this because I had hoped that we’d be better than this by now, there are actually some women who get pregnant without knowing the cause. It’s something so basic to us, but not everyone is as privileged to have access to such information. A househelper we had even believed that it was possible to get pregnant only a month AFTER coitus, and not immediately after. This is a reality, and the need therefore for information is crucial. And granted that there are other ways of educating people, the education aspect is not the entirety of the goal of the RH Bill. There’s also freedom of choice, especially with their own bodies. I disagree when you said that women only have children because they want to; some are victims of marital rape or merely consent to the sexual acts (out of fear, perhaps, of getting beaten black and blue) but are not willing to bear children at all. The bill will also be for women empowerment, because it enables women to enjoy sex without having to worry about the consequences of bearing a child, therefore putting them in the same footing as men in this aspect. And why would it be wrong to give these away for free? Condoms can be pricey, even the cheapest ones, if you don’t even have enough money to get by. And honestly, I think that those who do need the RH Bill the most would rather spend their money on alcohol and cigarettes than on condoms at this point. After all, if it’s the men who are handling the money (and they most often are, in those demographics), would they really buy something that would barely affect them, except perhaps to curb the sensation they’re looking for in the first place? They wouldn’t, because they likely wouldn’t see the point. The RH Bill would provide women with the power to take what they need without needing their partner’s help or consent.
And in the end, this really is a woman’s problem. It’s the women who bear the children; it’s the women who are being withheld information from and being withheld freedom from. They lose the freedom to do what they will with their own bodies, by withholding them the simple question of whether or not they should be able to take precautionary measures against pregnancy. Why do they have to ask for this service? (And this may sound completely unrelated, but males have the ‘libreng tuli’ projects and nobody’s making an issue of that. Have you asked yourselves why? Why is it that people just agree that men can feel free to cut off parts of their own penises for both traditional and medical reasons and women can’t even use contraceptives because it defies only tradition? Point being: it’s the double standard talking.)
What the RH Bill boils down to is should women be given the freedom over their own bodies in making the decision of using contraceptives? Corollary to this is, should the State provide them with means to enable them in doing so? @eabaguioro, it would be UNCONSTITUTIONAL NOT TO. Article II Sec. 14 of the same Constitution declares it to be so. Equality of freedom between women and men. The only way I can even imagine Sec 12 coming into the picture is by bringing in the abortion argument which was clearly rebutted by the writer’s article.
Maybe the reason lots of people don't get the sarcasm (myself initially), is that the arguments outlined are believably something you may find coming out of the mouths of Anti-RH people. 😉
so true.
that's precisely it! or maybe you just dont get the sarcasm of the people posting those comments!
“Our population is our biggest asset!”
1. In my opinion, people should make as many babies as they can because the population is not a problem. In fact, the more babies a person has, the more assets he has. Forget real estate properties, stock investments, or Jollibee franchises. The real secret to increased wealth is babies.
2. If you have 15 babies, you’re practically wealthy because babies are assets:
2.1 If you need money, you can sell them.
2.2 If you can keep them alive until they can walk, they can one day beg for money in the streets – they’re going to have to anyway because there’s no way in hell you’ll be able to provide for all of them on your own.
3. If ever a person is not able to feed the 15 babies he made, it’s the governments fault, because it’s the governments sole responsibility to make sure that every Filipino baby is fed.
4. The best way a person can contribute to his country is to contribute to its population.
THE MOST STUPID AND OBNOXIOUS IDEA I'VE SEEN.
“The RH Bill is wrong because the priest said so, and priests are never wrong.”
The biggest reason why we should not pass the RH Bill is because the priests told us that we shouldn’t. As anyone should know, priests, men of the clergy, should be the authority on sexual and reproductive matters because they have the most knowledge and experience with sex and reproduction. They are true sexperts – legendary masters of erotic affairs. If you are a real Catholic, you would do everything they say, because they’re always right.
KAYA PALA MADAMING CASES NG SEXUAL HARASSMENT AGAINST SA MGA PARI
ETO ANG EXAMPLE NG ISANG BOBONG FILIPINO
"ETO ANG EXAMPLE NG ISANG BOBONG FILIPINO"
giggle… giggle… giggle…
I would explain what's funny but you probably still won't get it. xD
I giggle with you LOL
tingin ka sa salamin
Haha. Banat ng banat di naman naiintindihan. 😛
Kapag napasa po ang RH bill, punta ka po sa nearest health center, humingi ka po ng maraming contraceptives, tapos kainin mo po. Para mabawasan naman ang Pilipinas ng mga bobong kagaya mo.
Last paragraph says it all =)
are. you. serious?? oh my lord.
Clearly sweetheart, you didn't get it… Every inch of that article is smeared with sarcasm… Tip: Google search the definition of sarcasm so that you'll finally get it…
numbskull…
homaygad MO_FO ang bobo mo nyahahaha
Hindi mo nagets na sarcastic ang article. wag iwan ang brain cells sa bahay ha
ahahahaha!! nice one!
Sell babies daw. Daig pa natin Africa. Let's look for Angelina Jolie! She may adopt one Filipino baby!
isa pa to
Great job, Dustin Celestino! Thoroughly enjoyed the satire. More power and looking forward to your future posts.
"1. The truth is that parents talk to their children about sex all the time. It’s so not awkward. The dad usually tells his children how he takes off all his clothes, does a sexy Tiger growl and makes sweet, sweet music with their mother’s body."
ewww… pag ginagawa sakin to the tatay ko, sasabihin ko sa kanya "Tay, wag na po, alam ko na lahat yan, nahanp ko na po yung mga nakatagong porno mo sa computer"
@author:
PLEASE EXCUSE THOSE WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND SARCASM BECAUSE THEY'RE ALIENS AND THEY DON'T HAVE IT ON THEIR PLANET ::)
Rashine Palma, you're a twat haha. You're such an embarrassment to our country. It can now be stated that our country's unfortunate state is due to people like you and your incapability to understand. Please try to put your brain to some use next time around. Thank you in advance and good luck in life. Believe me, you're gonna need lots of it.
This is exactly why we want the RH Bill. To stop people like these commenters from being born.
Or these commenters from breeding, for that matter.
ITT: People who don't know what "Trolling" is.
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ｱﾊﾊ八八ﾉヽﾉヽﾉヽﾉ ＼ / ＼/ ＼
To the Author: WELL PLAYED GOOD SIR. WELL PLAYED. 10/10 for masterful trolling.
To the idiots who still don't get the "troll" in the article, just lurk the f. more. >:3
I think the backlash of this is when people actually believe it. and nod yes! yes! (Like I've seen people nod to priests in church no matter how scientifically unfounded the pseudo-science of the priest were) But I love that it's just dripping with sarcasm and dark humor. I appreciated it. =)
i love this article. good job WRITER! it was very entertaining.
hahahaha I almost stopped reading it until I realized it was actually all TRUE. LOLOLOLOL
PEOPLE! THIS IS A SATIRICAL ARTICLE FYI! relax lang!
Why the hell is it difficult for people to see the sarcasm here??
well TBH, sarcasm is quite hard to detect in text. I almost stopped reading when I got called a narrow minded idiot but it all made sense when I read the rest of it. One thing I noticed about us pinoys, is we're so easy to troll, intentionally or otherwise.
1769 likes. 535 comments. Over 2,000 readers.
Writer = EPIC FAIL.
Excuse me while I laugh at your demise 😀
ang daming bobo!