Tag Archive | "meme"

The CBCP Formal Apology Form



Via the bureau of communications

There CBCP, I fixed your non-apology apology for you.

Cause you know, separation of church and state? Fuck that shit, it’s not important at all! Please CBCP, do feel free to run roughshod over the constitution and turn the Philippines into your own theocratic state.

Apology NOT accepted.

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They Try To Catch Me Riding…


This is Bishop Pueblos, he got quite a nice car from Gloria Arroyo! It was his birthday you see. It wasn’t just him though. A few of his other friends got nice shiny cars too!


Happy happy Birthday, to you!

This is his shiny new car. People are angry with Bishop Pueblos and his friends at the CBCP now. His friends at the CBCP are sorry. Sorry for making people sad anyway. They’re not really saying sorry for what they did. They’re not really sorry to the country from which the funds came to buy those shiny new cars. They are sorry that their momma church got hurt though. Aww. Wawa you.

Photo shows a Mitsubishi Montero parked outside the house of Butuan Bishop Juan De Dios Pueblos at the St. Peter Seminary in Barangay Ampayon, Butuan City. BEN SERRANO, source Philippine Star.

But hey, you know what Bishop Pueblos said? He’ll return the SUV. He says he’ll even ride a small vehicle if necessary! Wow, what a guy folks. Uhm. Anything about an apology, Pueblos? Oh, what’s that? He remains defiant? Oh.

Well, since he’s defiant, perhaps I can help him out. He needs a theme song to keep that swagger right? To show the people who’s boss? Hey! I know the perfect song for him!

Tryin’ to catch me ridin holy

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So I Heard You Liek Pajeros


So you know those 7 Pajeros Gloria Arroyo bribed those Bishops with? Yesterday at a Senate hearing, the PCSO revealed they got more than Pajeros. The Bishops also got a Crosswind, a Montero, a Strada, a Grandia, and a partridge in a pear tree.

And it gets better still! The PCSO also uncovered a letter from one of the Pajero Bishops, Bishop Juan de Dios Pueblos, asking GMA for an SUV on his birthday. Here is an excerpt from his letter to GMA:


Pueblos, the birthday boy

I will be celebrating my 66th birthday on March 8, 2009. I know this will be a precious day and timely occasion to thank the Lord for giving me another year … After a prayerful discernment and due considerations to the existing crisis phenomenon today, I have decided not to hold a birthday party. Instead, I prefer to make use of my birthday as a day with and for myself, and with God.

I hope you will never fail to give a brand new car which would serve as your birthday gift to me. For your information, I have with me a 7-year-old car which is not anymore in good running condition. Therefore, this needs to be replaced very soon.

So kids, what have we learned from the Bishops today? You don’t really need to pray to God to get a SUV. What you should do instead is buddy up to a corrupt president and then ask her nicely. It’s like Bishop Pueblos knows that prayer doesn’t really work!

Even better, the CBCP might have brought these troubles on themselves. Just last Monday, the CBCP told the Aquino government to stop whining about GMA and start filing cases after government officials disclosed the financial fallout on the PCSO from GMA’s corruption.

Well, looks like they got what they asked for.

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Extreme Makeover: Congress Edition


After last evening’s Reproductive Health bill interpellation, the Honorable Representatives Roilo Golez and Pablo Garcia give the House of Representatives an extreme makeover, feng shui style.

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Oscar Cruz’s Sex, Sex, Sex, Sex, Sex Bill


*shudders* Oh the horrible, loaded imagery contained in that title. But let’s put on a brave face and soldier on to face the horrible new missive that ex-archbishop Oscar Cruz has written against the Reproductive Health Bill.

Three days ago, Oscar Cruz wrote another one of his brilliant editorials against the RH bill. His latest editorial was an unlikely breath of fresh air in the debate about the RH bill. In his writing he calls for honesty, an unlikely breath of fresh air coming from his side of the anti RH camp.

His clarion call for clarity? That the RH bill to be called for what it is: The Sex Bill.

Well, okay so his own honesty might need some working on. His main point can be summarized in this sentence:

To call it “Reproductive Health Bill” is a big distortion. Reason: the Bill is not “reproductive” simply because it is against reproduction.

In response to this bit of stupidity Risa Hontiveros has written an incredible, witty response on the same publication. It’s Not a Sex Bill, Bishop. Feel free to indulge yourself with saying, “Oh Snap!” and “Burrrn”, while reading her response.

However, I am but a simple man and the simple, succinct rebuttal to Oscar Cruz’s piece of stupidity comes from the text of the RH bill itself. Perhaps Ex-Archbishop Oscar Cruz should apply himself to reading the bill so that he knows what he is ranting and raving against. Under Section 4, definition of terms (emphasis mine):

Reproductive Health Care refers to the access to a full range of methods, facilities, services and supplies that contribute to reproductive health and well-being by preventing and solving reproductive health-related problems. It also includes sexual health, the purpose of which is the enhancement of life and personal relations. The elements of reproductive health care include the following:
(j) prevention and treatment of infertility and sexual dysfunction;

Whoa. Hey. Ex-Archbishop Oscar Cruz! The bill is actually for honest to goodness reproduction! Would you look at that?

One thing I will applaud Oscar Cruz though, is his honesty. While his fellow bishops seem to skirt around their actual issue with the RH bill, Oscar Cruz comes outright and says it. Sex. The Roman Catholic church has always had a problem with sex. While the “pro-life” hem and haw with things like “protecting the unborn”, Oscar Cruz has the temerity to say it.

Sex.

Actually, he had to say sex quite a lot. Sex sex sex sex sex. (warning, auto-playing music). Uhm. Does someone seem obsessed here?


Moar Ex Archbishop Oscar Cruz Memes at Dead Heroes Society.

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