Department of Education Secretary Jesli Lapus didn’t agree with Chiz’s idea of issuing passing marks across the board:
“Maybe [Escudero] was misconstrued? [If we follow his suggestion], we compound our losses of lives and property further with a costly penalty to the education of our children.”
Mr. Lapus, for this answer you get an A. But you should have quit while you were ahead:
“The students might pray for supertyphoons every year, and we might end up with calamity diplomas,” he added.
If you’re seriously worrying about this, you get an F like your NPC classmate.
Actually, that last line sounded more like a tongue-in-cheek attempt at humor rather than a real statement.
We should have a segment here called "Ang Sibuyas."
And this is exactly why Filipinos generally don't get satire — our news already reads like The Onion.