Tag Archive | "fiction"

FF Podcast 72 (Audio): Trigger Warnings

FF Audio Podcast 72: Trigger Warnings

This week, we talk about trigger warnings for rape and other topics in fiction. We discuss which topics should have trigger warnings and whether they should exist at all.

You may also download the podcast file here.

Filipino Freethinkers Podcast (Audio) feed

Filipino Freethinkers Podcast (Audio) feed

Filipino Freethinkers Podcast (Audio) on iTunes

Filipino Freethinkers Podcast (Audio) on iTunes

Posted in audio podcast, SocietyComments (0)

FF Podcast 72: Trigger Warnings

This week, we talk about trigger warnings for rape and other topics in fiction. We discuss which topics should have trigger warnings and whether they should exist at all.

You may also download the podcast file here.

Filipino Freethinkers Podcast feed

Filipino Freethinkers Podcast feed

Filipino Freethinkers podcast on iTunes

Filipino Freethinkers podcast on iTunes

Posted in Gender Rights, Media, Podcast, Society, VideoComments (0)

Career Day at St. Iguana Elementary School

What do I do? You’re asking me what I do? Seriously? It’s funny you should ask, because honestly, if you have any intention of entering the kingdom of heaven, you should know. Anyway, supposedly, we’re like mediators between you and God. You could talk directly to God, of course, but he would pay more attention if we talked for you.

Some of us help you seek forgiveness. If you’re a sinner, which I’m guessing you are because you don’t know what I do, you have to sit in an isolated cubicle that sort of looks like a phone booth and tell me your sins. You have to tell me about the lustful thoughts you’re having for your teacher and how many times you touch yourself while thinking of her. You have to describe in detail what you do. You have to do all this so I can ask God to forgive you.

You can ask God to forgive you yourself, but like I said earlier, it won’t work as well.

Anyway, that’s not exactly what I do. I’m not exactly a “forgiverer.”

Some of us are Bible translators. No, we don’t translate the bible from one language to another. We translate from English to, well, English. For example, according to Psalm 137:9, Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the rock. You can read the Bible on your own but if you did, you might translate this verse as, “You will be happy if you slam babies against rocks.”

A Bible translator would tell you that what it really means is that slamming babies against rocks is wrong and it is a sin precisely because it will make you happy. See, if something makes you happy – having sex, drinking alcohol, eating chocolate – then, it’s a sin and you shouldn’t do it.

Why they didn’t just say, “Don’t slam babies against rocks?”

I’m not entirely sure. English/English Bible translation is not my real area of expertise. I’m not really a “translator.” Honestly, I haven’t even read the Bible in its entirety. But it doesn’t matter because I believe everything written there anyway.

As for my specialty, I’m more of a “blesser.”

I make people, places, and things holy. If it’s a “noun,” I can make it holy. Pretty cool, huh? Take this lunch box, for example. Right now, it’s not holy. But watch as I lay my hands over it… Wait a moment… hmm…

Now it’s holy.

Is that cool or what?

I bless people too. I can bless anyone, anytime, anywhere. Just give me a time and place and I’ll be there blessing the soul out of everyone. It doesn’t matter to me who I bless. I’ll bless everyone. Girls, boys, children – I’ll bless them all. I’ll bless them all day and all night. What can I say? I like blessing people and, sometimes, animals too.

I was just born to bless, you know? I don’t want to sound arrogant and all, but I’m just a really good “blesser.” Last night I was blessing Sister Grace and she was like, “Oh yes, father! Bless me! Bless me!” I blessed her alright. I blessed her good. She was breathless long after I was done blessing her. She kept telling me, “That’s was so good, father. I love it when you bless me!”

The night before that I was blessing John and his young wife, Jenny… at the same time. See, I had to bless them before they got married. I could have blessed John first and Jenny later, but I blessed them at the same time.


Because I can.

I blessed them so good that they were screaming, “Jesus! Jesus! Bless us, father! Oh, bless us!” Afterwards, we sat on the couch exhausted from all the blessing that happened. Jenny was like, “Oh my God, I feel so blessed.” John was like, “I haven’t been blessed like that since I was an altar boy.”

There are a lot of perks to being a good “blesser,” of course. People invite you to parties, events, and congregations. I mean, everyone needs a good bless now and then, right?

But kids, there are dangers in blessing too. Sometimes the people you bless enjoy the blessing so much that they get a little clingy. They start thinking about exclusivity and all that. I’m like, “I’m sorry Mrs. Santiago, but I don’t want to be your campus minister. I’m not ready for that type of commitment. What we have is good. Let’s keep it that way.” Some of them even want me to stop blessing others. I’m like, “Coach, God does not discriminate. If I blessed your team, I have to bless their team too.” When I’m older, maybe I’ll settle, but for now, I want to weigh my options – play the field a bit.

Now kids, if you want to be a professional “blesser,” you have to start early. You have to really, really want it. It has to be in you, you know? It might be difficult at first, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Just keep practicing. It’s not so hard. In fact, we can try it right now!

Pick a partner, and just start blessing. Bless your classmate! Bless the soul out of that boy! Don’t be shy. Go ahead, pick a partner kids. Pick anyone! Go ahead! No, Julie. Not him. Pick someone else. Pick anyone except Mark. Mark is going to be my blessing partner.

Posted in Entertainment, Humor, Religion, Society, StoriesComments (1)

God Writes a Letter to Andy

Dear God,

Please heal my mother’s cancer. Please, please heal her. We can no longer afford her chemotherapy treatments. I had to sell our house. My wife is very unhappy. She wants to leave me because our son, Johnny, had to stop school for a bit. I trust in you, God, but I have to ask why this is happening to me. Am I being punished, God? Did I do anything wrong? Is this a test? Please send me a sign.


Dear random human person,

How’s this for a sign? I have a couple of questions for you too starting with…

Didn’t your pastor ever tell you that God had a divine plan? Andy, in the grand scheme of things, it’s all for the best that your mother dies a horrible death and that your wife leaves you for your richer cousin (I’m sorry for the spoiler). I could try to explain it to you, but you wouldn’t understand, and I don’t really have to explain anything because I’m God. I’m supposed to be mysterious. If I explain how things worked, then life’s mysteries wouldn’t be so mysterious anymore now, would they?

What’s with this prayer thing, anyway? Do you really think that I would change my “divine plan” because you have a “better idea” as to how things should turn out? How much do you know about running a universe, Andy? Do you have any experience in magically conjuring life and matter from nothingness? No? I thought so.

Andy, listen. If I wanted constructive criticism on how I should run the universe, I would have created a universe management constructive criticism criticizer. But I didn’t, did I?
I mean, hello? On which day did God make a suggestion box?

On the first day, I made light. On the second day I separated water from the skies. On the third, I made… Oh wait… I remember now. I didn’t make a suggestion box. But I almost did. It was Sunday and I was thinking, “Maybe I should make a suggestion box.” Then I decided, “Fuck it. Human beings make dumb decisions. I’ll just rest.”

You just don’t get it. See, people like you like to talk about God, and having a relationship with God, and getting signs from God. You talk about “God and the problem of evil.” Whining and whining, asking stupid questions, “Why would God create evil?” “Why is there suffering?” “Why is my daughter retarded?”

Oh God! Dear Me! Make it stop!

Andy, you must understand that I’m making art here. A universe needs conflict. Otherwise, it would be a boring universe. I mean, go to a French Film Festival and you’ll see how boring life is when amateurs try to do it. With a healthy mother and a loving wife, you wouldn’t have problems and your life will be boring. I’m actually doing you a favor here.

See Andy, to create conflict, you need a problem. That’s what evil is for. For all the pretentious literature concepts humans have made up, it’s amazing how they still don’t get it.

Get this: Satan? I created him. Plagues? Check. The Egyptian pharaoh who took “my people,” I made him too. Then, I made a dude to set “my people” free – Moses. I made Jews and then I made Hitler. See? It’s all very exciting!

With regard to your mother, here’s what I have to say: If I wanted your mother’s to be free of cancer, I wouldn’t have given her cancer to begin with. It’s just the machinations of the divine plan I made eons ago.

Also, if you’re wondering about punishment Andy, yes you’re being punished. You’re being punished because your great, great, great, great, great, great, great, grandfather Adam was a douchebag. I, God almighty, told him not to eat from the tree of knowledge. A naked woman told him otherwise. Guess who he listens to? Human beings, man in particular, make horrible decisions like that. That’s why you’re being punished. That’s why I don’t take “suggestions” from you.

But, am I punishing you for something you did?


I’m not sure if this should come as a surprise, but I don’t give a shit.

Do you think I have the time or the desire to pay attention to every little thing you do? Do you expect me to keep score on the number of times you masturbate to “unholy” porn every week? Wake up, man. I’m God! I have better things to do – cool stuff: plagues, diseases, earthquakes, you know? I’m into the epic, shock-and-awe, apocalyptic, God stuff. That’s my thing.

The whole Ten Commandments concept was actually Moses’ idea.

Moses was at the mount bugging me about how humans should behave and I was like, “I don’t know, man. Do what you want. You have free will… It’s just that I already made all your future decisions for you because I also have a divine plan. I mean, I don’t want humans to mess up my divine plan with their poor decision-making. So, whatever.”

Moses was confused. He’s a little slow. So he made up his own rules. But they are irrelevant because following or not following them is not up to you. I already decided before hand what you’ll do with your life – divine plan, remember?

And no, it’s not a test of your “faith,” Andy. I don’t need to test your faith. I’m omniscient. Do you know what “omniscient” means? That means I know everything. EVERYTHING. I already know how faithful you are. No need for all that Sunday ass-kissing.

Honestly, the only thing I want from you is to leave me alone. Stop flattering me, begging for things, and making “suggestions” on how to revise my “grand design.”

In plain human language, “Fuck off.”

Completely Indifferent,

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