Tag Archive | "sexuality"

FF Podcast 58 (Audio): That Abstinence Video


FF Podcast 58: That Abstinence Video

Are you a bobo boy or a gaga girl? This week, we talk about the Department of Health’s abstinence dance video.

You may also download the podcast file here.

Filipino Freethinkers Podcast (Audio) feed

Filipino Freethinkers Podcast (Audio) feed

Filipino Freethinkers Podcast (Audio) on iTunes

Filipino Freethinkers Podcast (Audio) on iTunes

Posted in audio podcast, HIV/AIDS, Politics, RH Bill, Science, SocietyComments (0)

FF Podcast (Audio): Darrel Ray (Conversations for a Cause)


Darrel Ray

Conversations for a Cause is a series of interviews with celebrity freethinkers, part of an online donation drive to support ongoing Typhoon Yolanda (Haiyan) relief and rehabilitation efforts.

This week, we talk with Darrel Ray, psychologist and author of Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality. We discuss polyamory, how religions use guilt, and curing the “God Virus.”

Darrel Ray is also the founder of Recovering from Religion.

You may also download the podcast file here.




Filipino Freethinkers Podcast (Audio) feed

Filipino Freethinkers Podcast (Audio) feed

Filipino Freethinkers Podcast (Audio) on iTunes

Filipino Freethinkers Podcast (Audio) on iTunes

Posted in audio podcast, Religion, Science, Secularism, SocietyComments (0)

A Conversation with Darrel Ray


Conversations for a Cause is a series of interviews with celebrity freethinkers, part of an online donation drive to support ongoing Typhoon Yolanda (Haiyan) relief and rehabilitation efforts.

This week, we talk with Darrel Ray, psychologist and author of Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality. We discuss polyamory, how religions use guilt, and curing the “God Virus.”

Darrel Ray is also the founder of Recovering from Religion.

You may also download the video file here.

Filipino Freethinkers Podcast feed

Filipino Freethinkers Podcast feed

Filipino Freethinkers podcast on iTunes

Filipino Freethinkers podcast on iTunes

Posted in Media, Podcast, Religion, Science, Society, VideoComments (0)

Why I Will Not Walk Like a Sl*t


Disclaimer: The asterisk in the title was used in order for this post to come out on our Facebook pages. Just to make it clear, I’m as much of a pottymouth as the next person. Kepyas kepyas kepyas.

“Slut” is a derogatory term, and it should stay that way. This is coming from someone who dry heaves at the term “making love,” and made casual sex her sport of choice when she was single. No matter how comfortable I am with the idea of mindless sex and its pursuit, I believe that there is a difference between being in full control of one’s sexuality, and just being plain promiscuous.

SlutWalk - "Why I will not walk like a slut" by Marguerite de Leon
Walk like a slut

A group of female activists inToronto, however, have started a pride march of sorts dubbed the “SlutWalk” last June. It was sparked when a local police officer suggested that “women should avoid dressing like sluts” to avoid sexual harassment. In protest, these women have taken to the streets in an effort to redefine slut-dom, with many of them donning tacky, skimpy clothing and daring men not to ogle or wolf-whistle. The movement has become so popular that SlutWalks have been held across the world ever since, including in uber-traditional, harassment-heavy New Delhi.

I am totally for women speaking out not only against harassment, but also in support of their right to be open about their love for sex, whether mindless or meaningful. What I find very weak about these women’s concept, however, is their dependence on the image of a scantily-clad slut to further such a well-intentioned cause.

SlutWalk - "Why I will not walk like a slut" by Marguerite de Leon
Who you callin’ hot mama?

If you go out on the street in a low-cut blouse, hot pants, and heels, and then feel bad that people are staring at you, you should probably reassess your situation. What other reason is there for women to wear revealing clothing other than to attract attention? “To make me feel good about myself and/or my body” may be a valid sentiment, but  the fact remains that at the very root of your feeling good about yourself and/or your body via clothing is your being found sexually attractive by others.

Why bother wearing something revealing if sexual attractiveness is not the message you’re willing to convey? For the love of fashion, you say? Most skimpy haute couture wasn’t meant for the commute to work in the first place. Heterosexual men are predisposed to like boobs and legs and butts, and if you feel offended that your halter top/micro-mini/low-rise jeans has garnered you unwarranted attention, then it would be best for you to sit down and read up on biology and gender studies before heading out again.

SlutWalk - "Why I will not walk like a slut" by Marguerite de Leon
Frankness and foresight

The odd wolf-whistle or two, of course, is absolutely nothing compared to rape, and the best way for any individual to avoid it is to avoid vulnerable situations. Marching the streets in a bikini and waving a placard that reads “This is NOT my I WANT YOU face!” is not going to keep some depraved schmuck from taking advantage of you.

Instead, try lucid communication. On a night out, for instance, not only should you verbally make your intentions with your date clear, but also look and act that way you want to be treated. Want sex on the first date? Go for it – drop as many double entendres as you deem necessary. Want to play it slow or show that you’re not interested? Then stop trying to spill your cleavage onto your plate and laughing at every other thing your date says. Better yet, for either case, just say what you feel. “I like you. Want to come up to my apartment for a drink?” “I like you. Maybe we can have dinner again this week. When are you free?” “You’re very nice, but I don’t think we’re a good fit. I should go on ahead. I hope you understand.”

At the end of the day, however, anyone, regardless of what they’re wearing, can become a victim of rape. There are bad people out there, and they will not listen to what you tell them. The key to eradicating such a horrid crime is more about advancing an intelligent, empathetic, and conscientious society and less about pitting men against women through the Pussy Power Patrol.

So, if you want to redefine how men and women interact with one another, don’t parade yourself in your panties and dare people not to stare at you. Don’t try to alleviate the perils of mixed signals with even more mixed signals. Just quit the ambiguous bullshit, period.

Click here for a follow-up to this piece. 

(Images from IBTimes, TnT Magazine, Lisa VanDyke, and The Guardian)

Posted in Personal, SocietyComments (52)

A Call to Restore Sexual Orientation in UN Resolution against Extrajudicial Executions


On November 2010, the Third Committee of the United Nations General Assembly voted to remove a reference to sexual orientation from a key resolution condemning extrajudicial killings. For the past ten years, the Resolution on Extrajudicial, Summary, and Arbitrary Executions has urged states to “to investigate promptly and thoroughly… all killings committed for any discriminatory reason, including sexual orientation. The amendment removing the reference to sexual orientation was adopted with79 votes in favor, 70 against, 17 abstentions and 26 absent. The Philippines was among the seventeen states that abstained.

Today, December 21, 2010, the UN General Assembly will vote on a motion to restore “sexual orientation” in the text of the resolution. The following is a letter from the Filipino Freethinkers urging the Philippine government to uphold the rights of Filipino lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgender (LGBTs) by voting to restore the reference to sexual orientation.

21 December 2010

H.E. President BENIGNO C. AQUINO III

REPUBLIC OF THE PHILIPPINES

HON. ALBERTO G. ROMULO

Secretary, Department of Foreign Affairs

H.E. (Mr.) Libran N. Cabactulan

Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary

Permanent Mission of the Republic of the Philippines to the United Nations

556 5th Avenue

New York, NY

Dear Sirs,

We, the members of the Filipino Freethinkers, are writing to you as allies of the Filipino lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community and advocates of equal rights for LGBTs. We urge you to vote for restoration of the category sexual orientation in the Resolution on Extrajudicial Summary, and Arbitrary Executions.

In the Philippines and all over the world, LGBTs continue to be victims of abuse and extrajudicial killing. In 2010 alone, the non-government organization Rainbow Rights Project, Inc. (R-Rights) reported 11 documented cases of local killings based on actual or perceived sexual orientation. Given the lack of policies against discrimination and hate crimes, it is highly probable that many more cases go undocumented and unnoticed. Overseas Filipino workers are also vulnerable to torture and killing based on actual or perceived sexual orientation, especially in countries where consensual same-sex behaviour is deemed criminal. By abstaining from the previous vote on the amendment to the resolution, the Philippine government has turned a blind eye to the realities faced by Filipino LGBTs.

All too often, these grave violations of human rights are motivated by an irrational hatred of sexual minorities, or committed in the name of religious fundamentalism.  As advocates of reason, science, and secularism, we condemn these forms of human rights violations, and we urge you to do the same. We believe that hate crimes and killings on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity—whether or not they are based on religious dogma—should have no place in a state that has committed to promote, uphold, and protect human rights for all. We implore you to vote to restore the reference to sexual orientation in the text of the resolution on extrajudicial, summary, or arbitrary killings.

Sincerely,

Filipino Freethinkers

www.filipinofreethinkers.org

Posted in Politics, SocietyComments (9)

On Equal Respect and Reality.


Last Saturday, I went to my first LGBT Pride March under the banner of the Filipino Freethinkers. It was worth every bit of sweat. My heart is swelling with so much pride it could shit exclamation marks. LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!

I could not be thankful enough for the multitude who came to support the cause; All the people who honked and cheered, all the people who shook hands and smiled, all the people who had cheerful thoughts in their hearts as united marchers blocked the roads. And the children! I wish we could all be like the children who asked whether Jesus truly loved gays.

Sigh.

Unfortunately, although the metropolis seems to accept LGBT with undoubted sincerity, gay men and women are still not real men and women. At least, that’s how our mainstream media sees it. In one TV journalist’s words: “…gays and lesbians are just as worthy of respect as real men and women”.

See, they respect us. Just not enough to think we’re “real”.

Apparently, it’s always just an act to them, this being non-heterosexual or non-straight. It’s always just a reaction to the normal: a by-product, nothing authentic or rooted. Masculine gays will always be just acting masculine because love for one’s own gender will always be the province of heterosexuals. Gays can’t be butch! That’s an oxymoron! Gays will always act like the sex opposite to their own.

This is because gays are not real, according to nature. Their view of nature. Not as real as the straights, at least.

But we should know better.

I am not a fan of labels or boxes. The whole idea of dichotomous identities is still foreign to me. But how ever we name ourselves, gay-straight-omni-trans-bi-nameless, we are just as real as everybody else. And we have to let others know that. There is no ‘everybody else’. No ‘other’.

Just us. Just everybody.

Posted in Personal, Politics, SocietyComments (2)

In Defense of Your Perversions: On Bukkake and Political Correctness


Konnichi wa. My name is Maria Ozawa. You may be familiar with my thespian work. I have a quite extensive portfolio, many of which have become contemporary classics and are thus in wide circulation. The subtle nuances of Super High-Class Public Whore, the profundity of Monster Swallowing Ecstasy, and the heartfelt introspection of both The Main Purpose of Special Delusional Bathhouse and Torture with Sperm 2 have endeared me to a large section of pornography’s purveyors.

Nonetheless, I have a number of detractors as well. These critics find my specialization, bukkake, to be grossly offensive in nature, touting this sexual art as politically incorrect, something that purposefully delights in the subjugation of the female via the showering of ejaculate from multiple sources. The act is deemed humiliating as the sperm is considered either a vile substance, a symbol of utter masculinity, or both. Thus, supposedly, womankind should be offended by bukkake, and can consider it politically incorrect should someone bring it up in conversation—the same way a woman can no longer be complemented on her sweet ass at office hours, unless the speaker is asking for a world of hurt.

Now, isn’t this the very essence of the argument against pornography itself? The answer is yes—50 years ago. It is 2010, kind reader. I would like to believe that we are above and beyond notions as archaic as ‘porn is bad’ and ‘sex is for married heterosexuals.’ If you’ve been able to read up to this point, this fairly suggests that you are not a moron and, as such, understand that women like sex a whole lot, too, and are as capable of delighting in a smorgasbord of perversions as men are.

Which brings me to my main point. I wholly respect the opinion of women who feel offended by bukkake, yet I also feel responsible for explaining why I myself am not offended. For me, and I am sure for a number of other women as well, a large group of men ejaculating all over a woman’s body at roughly the same time is a form of flattery. They find me desirable, and so much so that they are able to orgasm to my presence and, moreover, in the presence of their colleagues. It as an act of unity, stripped of shame and geared towards the quite literal adulation of the female. Is contact with semen harmful? No. Furthermore, semen’s being a symbol of masculinity is quite impotent in the case of bukkake as the seed is spilled, not sown.

But what of the woman’s whimpering? What of her writhing around and looking helpless? I myself see it as a form of kink. Some women delight in the idea of being dominated. This doesn’t instantly purport that they allow themselves to be demeaned by men in real life. That is an unfair assumption. What about men’s dominatrix fantasies? What about handcuffs and ball gags and other sadomasochistic accoutrements? A simple striptease, in fact, is enough to render a man powerless. Should we be condemning those, too?

Bukkake’s political incorrectness cannot be an absolute truth because political incorrectness is, in the first place, a matter of perspective. There is a far grander, more intensive argument regarding the demerits of our PC culture, but as I am a very, very busy girl, let me just throw two points out there for you, kind reader, to chew on. First, people are free to be offended by anything they want to be offended by, and they have the liberty to explain why they were offended. It’s only decent. Second, be that as it may, this does not immediately mean that what a person is offended by is wrong. It depends from one offensive entity to the next. Bukkake, an act wherein no one is actually getting hurt, doesn’t have to be seen as wrong.

In the end, bukkake is a fetish, and a harmless one. Some people like the idea, and some people don’t. And that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. Or let’s put it this way: I am certain many of you, upon reading this essay, were quite surprised to find me sufficiently articulate, and quite able to profess intellectual insight. Many of you expected an adult video sensation such as myself to be a nubile idiot. But I’m not. There are just some things people prefer to do (or, in my case, be), and while these may seem unusual to some, there’s no point in deriding it if there’s no harm done.

There. I have said my piece to the best of my abilities, and I do hope, kind reader, that you were thoroughly enlightened. However, it is time now to excuse myself, I’m afraid. It has been quite a long day, and I am in dire need of a shower.

Posted in SocietyComments (20)


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