Christopher Hitchens (1949-2011), the spice and sting of the Four Horsemen, will be sorely missed. Hitchens did not have a deathbed conversion and his statements during the months before his death guaranteed that nobody is to take advantage of his death and sickness to further their personal agenda.

Hitchens the Dionysian.

But why expect a deathbed conversion from a bon vivant who uttered the following words?

“Life on this earth, with all its mystery and beauty and pain, is then to be lived far more intensely: we stumble and get up, we are sad, confident, insecure, feel loneliness and joy and love. There is nothing more; but I want nothing more.”

Taunting a Dead Man

While Hitchens will be sorely missed, Rick Warren will be sorely with us still. In the wake of Hitch’s death, this “friend” of Christopher’s mustered up the gall to tweet the following words:

“My friend Christopher Hitchens has died. I loved & prayed for him constantly & grieve his loss. He knows the Truth now.”

I believe it is one thing to be a Christian and to assert the superiority of your beliefs, and it is completely another thing to rub your beliefs on a dead man’s face. True, it is Warren’s right as a Christian to believe that Hitchens must be somewhat surprised right now to find himself in the afterlife. (Although we who know Hitch are sure that he can wit his way into heaven or hell, depending on whether he wants great climate or great company.) True, it is also his right to voice out this belief. True still, it is his right to place a thin veneer of taste over this belief by simply calling it “the Truth” with a capital T.  But doing it to someone who cannot answer back is simply going below the belt. Six feet below, to be precise.

“So how’s the weather down there, Hitchens m’boy?”

Madalyn Murray O’Hair once said,  “It is everybody’s right to be insane.” To that I would like to append the clause, “… as long as their insanity causes no harm to others.” Warren’s insanity in this particular instance is well within the bounds of allowable insanity. There is nothing immoral about Warren’s tweet. My argument against Warren does not come from ethics but from aesthetics. After all, the dead person he taunted in his tweet was a debate connoisseur for his entire career. One must not forget that to Hitchens, the content of a good argument will go to waste if it is not delivered with style and a few tastefully added cuss words.

Imagine one player losing a one-on-one basketball game to a good opponent. When the winner left the court, the loser kept on shooting the ball and counting his scores and declaring himself the winner of the match; Warren’s taunting a dead Hitchens is like this but worse. To me it looks like Warren was not able to get a good shot when Hitchens was around, so now that Hitch is gone, Warren thinks that it’s time to take all those missed free throws. Unethical? No. Pathetic? Yes. With a capital Y.

Truth with the capital T

Another sorry aspect of Warren’s tweet is his confidence on waving the banner of Truth with a capital T. This confidence of course he shares with millions of other fundamentalists, Christian or otherwise. There is nothing new in Warren’s religious hubris, but let me grab this opportunity to compare this religious hubris and the confidence of reason.

Hitchens was confident, as am I, that there is no afterlife. Both he and I share the conviction that this life is better lived without the “false consolation of religion” and its attendant hopes of heaven and threats of hell. Meanwhile, Rick Warren is confident, as are millions of believers, that we are dangerously wrong. And so they try their best to save us from fire and brimstone and to bring us to everlasting life. I sincerely appreciate the sentiment, but no thanks, I’m fine with my rational worldview.

So this is the situation: People disagree and everyone thinks they are in the right. Well, okay. That’s how the world is, messy and beautiful. What makes it ugly is that few if any fundamentalists appreciate the nuances between being confident of one’s belief and being absolutely certain of them. The appreciation for such nuances is what makes us freethinkers, believers or unbelievers, act rationally toward people who disagree with us. This appreciation gives us the ability to be considerate and to come up with reasonable compromises without compromising our intellectual conscience and values. On the other hand, the lack of appreciation for these nuances is not only behind Warren’s hubris. It is also behind the hubris of the terrorists who flew the planes into the Twin Towers. It is the hubris behind Hitler’s genocide. It is the hubris behind many people’s apathy toward environmental degradation and climate change. Now I am not saying that Warren’s nearly innocent tweet is comparable to the 7/11 attacks. What I am saying is that these actions, although very different, stem from the same root sentiment – the feeling of absolute certainty about one’s beliefs. In god is not great, Hitchens wrote, “The person who is certain, and who claims divine warrant for his certainty, belongs now to the infancy of our species.” Might I add that in this day and age, such immaturity is dangerous to us as a species.

I guess half of being a freethinker is being able to appreciate the aforesaid nuances. In light of its many profound effects, therefore, I think it is very important that we freethinkers share such appreciation with as many people as we can. And that goes for you too, mister Rick Warren. If nobody can convince you to become an atheist, I hope at least someone can convince you to lower down your hubris level. After all, isn’t humility a supposedly Christian virtue?

We’re All Gonna Die…Someday

Yup, we’re all gonna die someday. For Christopher Hitchens, that day has already come. But contrary to what Warren said, that day is not the day to know the Truth. Truth is something we strive for constantly throughout our lives, it is not a single destination but a series of stops along the journey of reason.

Thanks for letting us hitch, Hitch!

This is the same journey Christopher has been taking his entire life. We should consider ourselves lucky Christopher went up that road ahead of us, because now we can be assured there will be lots of open bars and dancing clubs along the way.

Good bye and thanks for all the laughter, Christopher Hitchens. It’s been great hitchin’ with ya, Hitch!

“So, since you don’t believe in God anymore, you can go and fuck around, and that would be OK, right, won’t be a problem for you?”

In fairness, my officemate’s been a churchgoer his whole life, as was I until about five years ago: I understand the Christian perception of a Godless life as necessarily an immoral one, or at least one without any moral guardrails.

I pondered that point, as I ripped my officemate’s tongue from his head.

- – – – – – -

Or I might have, if he were right about my atheistic lack of a conscience, and if I were the type to take offense. I didn’t take offense; besides, he was wrong: I do have a functioning conscience.

Everything in my life that the priests always told us would be horribly disfigured in God’s absence seemed to be doing just fine without Him. Love for family? Check. Loyalty to my friends? Check. The inclination to do good? Check. Aversion to evil? Check. Preference of truth over lies, of justice over injustice, of love over hate? Check, check, check.

In fact, on all counts I was doing better than Dr. StrangeBrain.

- – – – – – -

Dr. StrangeBrain was a guy I used to work for – he shall remain nameless, because he’s a semi-prominent advertising guy cum political lobbyist cum leader of a religious group.

Dr. StrangeBrain had some strange ideas, most of which would pop out of his mouth when we’d least expect it. “The Simpsons are behind the downfall of Western civilization!” “You know, I can read minds;” “That [famous female CEO of a multinational advertising agency]? She slept her way to the top!” (Said female CEO was, and still is, my idol – you have no idea how that comment blew me away.)

The good Doctor was, most of all, a God-fearing man; he was the head of a fringe Catholic religious community, the specifics of which escape me. In a sense, he was the Godliest of the Godly: of a subset who happen to be more religious than the rest, he was sitting on top of that angelic heap.

- – – – – – -

I worked four years under Dr. StrangeBrain. Four years I’ll never get back.

The man had issues. He may have styled himself a devout Christian, but he had a personality that would make baby Jesus cry. He badmouthed people behind their backs (God knows what he was saying when I was out of the office). He was a typical Dirty Old Man. He fucking worked for the Marcoses for a living, for crying out loud!

But still people came to him for spiritual guidance. Still he would talk about the saving power of religion. Working so close to him made me ask, in my head, the one question that started the ball rolling:

If Christianity made you moral – and more Christianity made you more moral – how the hell do I explain Dr. StrangeBrain?

- – – – – – -

I still can’t explain it, and whenever somebody attempts a rational answer to the question above, it always sounds a little fake to me.

I am now convinced, though, that there is no relationship between being good and believing in God. Mary McCarthy once wrote that “Christianity is good for good people,” and I haven’t seen anything to disprove that pattern. Good people do good work, and call it part of being a Christian. Some Christians are horrible people, and use their faith to justify their horrible acts. If Christianity were good on a larger scale, wouldn’t slavery have stopped in Constantine’s time instead of in Lincoln’s?

You could write a book about the bad things Christians do to their nearest and dearest – and some people do. Mary McCarthy, for one, wrote Memories of a Catholic Girlhood, part of which tells of her time with abusive yet devoutly Catholic relatives. Julia Scheeres wrote Jesusland, an account of her growing-up years spent first in a Fundamentalist Christian household, then in a Christian reform school in the Dominican Republic. How many books, how many true stories do you have to read, to figure out that a faith that lets pedophile priests slide by, or that encourages the beating of helpless children, is a hollow faith, that limps along thanks to the good acts of people who would have been good even without a faith to show them the way?

- – – – – – -

I don’t know where Dr. Strangebrain is anymore, and I don’t care. When he left he took whatever residual fear I had of Hellfire with him; I couldn’t take any afterlife seriously that could reward a man like him.

It might have been that simple, my plain-vanilla rejection of the Faith. I didn’t bid buh-bye to religion because I wanted to do sick, evil, depraved stuff and not have to consider the consequences. There are real consequences to antisocial behavior, even if you don’t believe in God. But that was never the point.

Some people like living in the midst of religious paradox. I’m afraid I don’t have the knack, so I don’t bother. But that wasn’t the point, either.

The fact is we’ve always been told about the rewards that await the pious. We’ve always been told that you’re either Christian and moral – or Godless and otherwise. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

My wish for you is that you realize how wrong these statements are, without a Dr. Strangebrain in your life.

The glaring sunlight pierced through my black coat like a volley of searing javelins. I walked along the streets of Taft Avenue, amidst the towering alabaster-clad metropolitan megastructures apathetic to my existence. I was heading towards a specific private establishment, locally identified as The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, where I was supposed to meet a certain band of individuals. When I reached my destination, I took a seat, and waited patiently.

Soon enough, they arrived.

I was locked firmly on my seat as I perused the members of the organization, one by one, analyzing them with utmost curiosity. They have been called many things, such as blasphemers, heathens, and even demons, but they go by one collective moniker—freethinkers.

I had always looked forward to meeting them. In the recent past, I had only seen them in media broadcasts, formally recognized as the Filipino Freethinkers, owing their popularity, or rather, notoriety, to their naysayers, primarily constituted of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines, Catholic fundamentalists, and more Catholics. Prior to this day, I had only encountered them through their Facebook group wall where I constantly troll, ignite uproars, and cause general mischief. But at that moment, they were actually in front of me.

The first order of business was introduction. I was introduced to the head honchos of the organization. I learned firsthand what they do and how they got there. Subsequently, the initiates, who had only met the organization for the first time, who happen to be my colleagues and myself, were also asked for introductions.

With us being intellectuals, what we did was to freely exchange ideas. We discussed an array of issues, with topics ranging from international human rights, to the local reproductive health bill, to toilet paper. Yes, toilet paper.

I remember having to answer some ethical questions, akin to those popular ones wherein you have to participate in a critical decision-making scenario where your choice would dictate the outcome of your life and/or the life of others. I managed to answer them with a straight face, but what I tried to keep imperceptible were my doubts. Would I really be able to live up to my initial answer? I guess I would know when I face such a dilemma.

In summary, the discussions were casual and light-hearted, but at the same time intellectual and thought-provoking. Everybody was allowed to present their own perspective, regardless of religious or political affiliation.

The final agenda, and the main purpose of the meet-up, according to Red, the President of the Filipino Freethinkers, was about the establishment of a De La Salle University based freethinker group. They deemed it necessary that a new chapter of the organization be founded, particularly centralized in the aforementioned university. The initiates were commissioned to create and govern this distinct organizational division. I was designated president of this chapter.

Being surrounded by individuals of similar wavelength, intellectually open to philosophical discourse, sincerely convicted to their respective ideological stances, valiantly ready for sociopolitical action—I knew I was home.

What a glorious day this was. How privileged was I to have met people of my own kind. How honored was I to have been appointed leader of my very own circle of freethinkers.

I exited the café with a satisfied psyche and a sinister grin. Deep inside, I was delighted to see that there are still people like them. These people sacrifice their time and effort in the name of the ideals they are fighting for. I had a lot to do, and I knew I have to start right away.

Now I tread on forward with a greater shouldered responsibility. Anticipating undying support from my newfound comrades, I shall face our common adversaries—ignorance, fundamentalism, and intellectual suppression—all in the name of freethought.

It was getting dark.

The gleaming moonlight drizzled on my black coat like weightless droplets of hope. As I stared at the dimly lit sky of Taft Avenue, I had only one thought in mind, “Tomorrow will be a good day.”

What was the first thing in my head as I watched the CNN Friday night?

It was a simulation of myself running for dear life from such aggressive shores. How else could I empathize? That is probably not why I imagined it. I suspect it is just an automatic upshot for someone used to reading fiction–an exercise on simulation. A friend of mine is suggesting I should be embarrassed to admit trying to empathize with crisis victims. That is another emotion I am very much accustomed to. Just as well, I admit to be friends with him despite his solemn respect for Deepak Chopra.

CNN had just interviewed scientists to provide people a sobering explanation and an accurate picture of what had just happened. What was the first thing in my dad’s head?

Salvation. Or the end of days. Or “the apocalyptic prophecies that conniving assholes make people believe.” First of all: AAAAAARGH! so you can tell I am feeling frustrated and pugnacious. But on a good note, this may not last long as I am drinking my favorite tea and eating a chilled salad. Somehow this activity of chewing and swallowing helps to make my brain go and take a vacation. I think that may be good, for now. But while my neurons are still firing belligerence, my fingers will continue tapping in the sentences.

I watched the news in the same room with folks. Dad said to mom “You know what this is, right? This has been mentioned [in the Bible]“. I simulated wasabi shooting up my nose. He looked so calm for the wrong reasons. I am not even sure anyone should be feeling calm at that very moment. While I took the advice of a bathroom towel not to panic, I remained freaked out inside. For a moment I lost the ability to empathize.

Next image in my head: a simulation of myself burning his stack of “holy books”.

I know it does not solve anything, but it was just a nice thought to have less of it around. And if I had some balls (and that stick that comes with it) I would have probably jerked off over the embers. But I could not have.

I no longer have a malignant bone in me since I learnt how to draw.

I lie. I was 4. Surely I was still kicking tall people’s shins? Most if not all kids are little psychopaths. No. I no longer have a malignant bone in me since I stopped listening to religion and its dogmas. I am still empathetic, and for this occasion, that lands me nowhere near the joyous scale. A feeling of deep sympathy and admiration for how dignified Japanese citizens are handling the situation so far takes precedence over this chafing feeling I have managed to accommodate–still, I wish I had not heard what dad said. I wish my mind did not have room for it. What he said was infuriating. Anger is not a very lucrative emotion to me; for one thing it makes following instructions an ordeal. Though some studies suggest I should welcome it.

Now I shall warn you: this piece is going to lose entertainment value really fast henceforward. You might as well stop now. My brain has gone off. I know this because I am currently nibbling on bits of food stuck in between my teeth, reminding me my body is now preoccupied on processing shit (literally).

Here is a boring but short personal background: my parents used to be practicing Catholics, until 2 years ago, they joined the Born-Again Christian band. (I refrained from typing “church” just then. I only recently found out that they had none of those; just a concert hall or something of the sort, which is a real shame. Church buildings are the only things I could still appreciate about religious organizations.) As you may suspect, I was born into Roman Catholicism. To this day I am still a practicing Catholic (to my parents’ knowledge). So that is mainly why I am still writing this.

These thoughts had to go somewhere; just not into my parents’ ears.

I probably would have just laughed to hear someone spouting about “crying mightily to the Lord for the end of days is nigh” in a room full of freethinkers. It is a statement with great cartoon potential. The effect is different when I am outnumbered by people who explicitly devalue this life because they would much prefer the insubstantial life. That mindset reeks of foul scum to me. We have books, movies and video games for escapists pursuing entertainment or a distraction. While this focus on an afterlife is a kind of escapism producing psychopathy. Creepy. Creepier when you hear it from your own parents.

Some of us help you seek forgiveness. If you’re a sinner, which I’m guessing you are because you don’t know what I do, you have to sit in an isolated cubicle that sort of looks like a phone booth and tell me your sins. You have to tell me about the lustful thoughts you’re having for your teacher and how many times you touch yourself while thinking of her. You have to describe in detail what you do. You have to do all this so I can ask God to forgive you.

You can ask God to forgive you yourself, but like I said earlier, it won’t work as well.

Anyway, that’s not exactly what I do. I’m not exactly a “forgiverer.”

Some of us are Bible translators. No, we don’t translate the bible from one language to another. We translate from English to, well, English. For example, according to Psalm 137:9, Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the rock. You can read the Bible on your own but if you did, you might translate this verse as, “You will be happy if you slam babies against rocks.”

A Bible translator would tell you that what it really means is that slamming babies against rocks is wrong and it is a sin precisely because it will make you happy. See, if something makes you happy – having sex, drinking alcohol, eating chocolate – then, it’s a sin and you shouldn’t do it.

Why they didn’t just say, “Don’t slam babies against rocks?”

I’m not entirely sure. English/English Bible translation is not my real area of expertise. I’m not really a “translator.” Honestly, I haven’t even read the Bible in its entirety. But it doesn’t matter because I believe everything written there anyway.

As for my specialty, I’m more of a “blesser.”

I make people, places, and things holy. If it’s a “noun,” I can make it holy. Pretty cool, huh? Take this lunch box, for example. Right now, it’s not holy. But watch as I lay my hands over it… Wait a moment… hmm…

Now it’s holy.

Is that cool or what?

I bless people too. I can bless anyone, anytime, anywhere. Just give me a time and place and I’ll be there blessing the soul out of everyone. It doesn’t matter to me who I bless. I’ll bless everyone. Girls, boys, children – I’ll bless them all. I’ll bless them all day and all night. What can I say? I like blessing people and, sometimes, animals too.

I was just born to bless, you know? I don’t want to sound arrogant and all, but I’m just a really good “blesser.” Last night I was blessing Sister Grace and she was like, “Oh yes, father! Bless me! Bless me!” I blessed her alright. I blessed her good. She was breathless long after I was done blessing her. She kept telling me, “That’s was so good, father. I love it when you bless me!”

The night before that I was blessing John and his young wife, Jenny… at the same time. See, I had to bless them before they got married. I could have blessed John first and Jenny later, but I blessed them at the same time.

Why?

Because I can.

I blessed them so good that they were screaming, “Jesus! Jesus! Bless us, father! Oh, bless us!” Afterwards, we sat on the couch exhausted from all the blessing that happened. Jenny was like, “Oh my God, I feel so blessed.” John was like, “I haven’t been blessed like that since I was an altar boy.”

There are a lot of perks to being a good “blesser,” of course. People invite you to parties, events, and congregations. I mean, everyone needs a good bless now and then, right?

But kids, there are dangers in blessing too. Sometimes the people you bless enjoy the blessing so much that they get a little clingy. They start thinking about exclusivity and all that. I’m like, “I’m sorry Mrs. Santiago, but I don’t want to be your campus minister. I’m not ready for that type of commitment. What we have is good. Let’s keep it that way.” Some of them even want me to stop blessing others. I’m like, “Coach, God does not discriminate. If I blessed your team, I have to bless their team too.” When I’m older, maybe I’ll settle, but for now, I want to weigh my options – play the field a bit.

Now kids, if you want to be a professional “blesser,” you have to start early. You have to really, really want it. It has to be in you, you know? It might be difficult at first, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Just keep practicing. It’s not so hard. In fact, we can try it right now!

Pick a partner, and just start blessing. Bless your classmate! Bless the soul out of that boy! Don’t be shy. Go ahead, pick a partner kids. Pick anyone! Go ahead! No, Julie. Not him. Pick someone else. Pick anyone except Mark. Mark is going to be my blessing partner.

Dear God,

Please heal my mother’s cancer. Please, please heal her. We can no longer afford her chemotherapy treatments. I had to sell our house. My wife is very unhappy. She wants to leave me because our son, Johnny, had to stop school for a bit. I trust in you, God, but I have to ask why this is happening to me. Am I being punished, God? Did I do anything wrong? Is this a test? Please send me a sign.

Love,
Andy

—

Dear random human person,

How’s this for a sign? I have a couple of questions for you too starting with…

Didn’t your pastor ever tell you that God had a divine plan? Andy, in the grand scheme of things, it’s all for the best that your mother dies a horrible death and that your wife leaves you for your richer cousin (I’m sorry for the spoiler). I could try to explain it to you, but you wouldn’t understand, and I don’t really have to explain anything because I’m God. I’m supposed to be mysterious. If I explain how things worked, then life’s mysteries wouldn’t be so mysterious anymore now, would they?

What’s with this prayer thing, anyway? Do you really think that I would change my “divine plan” because you have a “better idea” as to how things should turn out? How much do you know about running a universe, Andy? Do you have any experience in magically conjuring life and matter from nothingness? No? I thought so.

Andy, listen. If I wanted constructive criticism on how I should run the universe, I would have created a universe management constructive criticism criticizer. But I didn’t, did I?
I mean, hello? On which day did God make a suggestion box?

On the first day, I made light. On the second day I separated water from the skies. On the third, I made… Oh wait… I remember now. I didn’t make a suggestion box. But I almost did. It was Sunday and I was thinking, “Maybe I should make a suggestion box.” Then I decided, “Fuck it. Human beings make dumb decisions. I’ll just rest.”

You just don’t get it. See, people like you like to talk about God, and having a relationship with God, and getting signs from God. You talk about “God and the problem of evil.” Whining and whining, asking stupid questions, “Why would God create evil?” “Why is there suffering?” “Why is my daughter retarded?”

Oh God! Dear Me! Make it stop!

Andy, you must understand that I’m making art here. A universe needs conflict. Otherwise, it would be a boring universe. I mean, go to a French Film Festival and you’ll see how boring life is when amateurs try to do it. With a healthy mother and a loving wife, you wouldn’t have problems and your life will be boring. I’m actually doing you a favor here.

See Andy, to create conflict, you need a problem. That’s what evil is for. For all the pretentious literature concepts humans have made up, it’s amazing how they still don’t get it.

Get this: Satan? I created him. Plagues? Check. The Egyptian pharaoh who took “my people,” I made him too. Then, I made a dude to set “my people” free – Moses. I made Jews and then I made Hitler. See? It’s all very exciting!

With regard to your mother, here’s what I have to say: If I wanted your mother’s to be free of cancer, I wouldn’t have given her cancer to begin with. It’s just the machinations of the divine plan I made eons ago.

Also, if you’re wondering about punishment Andy, yes you’re being punished. You’re being punished because your great, great, great, great, great, great, great, grandfather Adam was a douchebag. I, God almighty, told him not to eat from the tree of knowledge. A naked woman told him otherwise. Guess who he listens to? Human beings, man in particular, make horrible decisions like that. That’s why you’re being punished. That’s why I don’t take “suggestions” from you.

But, am I punishing you for something you did?

No.

I’m not sure if this should come as a surprise, but I don’t give a shit.

Do you think I have the time or the desire to pay attention to every little thing you do? Do you expect me to keep score on the number of times you masturbate to “unholy” porn every week? Wake up, man. I’m God! I have better things to do – cool stuff: plagues, diseases, earthquakes, you know? I’m into the epic, shock-and-awe, apocalyptic, God stuff. That’s my thing.

The whole Ten Commandments concept was actually Moses’ idea.

Moses was at the mount bugging me about how humans should behave and I was like, “I don’t know, man. Do what you want. You have free will… It’s just that I already made all your future decisions for you because I also have a divine plan. I mean, I don’t want humans to mess up my divine plan with their poor decision-making. So, whatever.”

Moses was confused. He’s a little slow. So he made up his own rules. But they are irrelevant because following or not following them is not up to you. I already decided before hand what you’ll do with your life – divine plan, remember?

And no, it’s not a test of your “faith,” Andy. I don’t need to test your faith. I’m omniscient. Do you know what “omniscient” means? That means I know everything. EVERYTHING. I already know how faithful you are. No need for all that Sunday ass-kissing.

Honestly, the only thing I want from you is to leave me alone. Stop flattering me, begging for things, and making “suggestions” on how to revise my “grand design.”

In plain human language, “Fuck off.”

Completely Indifferent,
God

The best way to answer Jean’s question is to use one of my favorite Disney characters Pocahontas.

I was (and still am) fascinated by “Pocahontas.” I am referring to the Disney version; naturally this version does not include her having the Christianized name Rebecca and her death for catching smallpox in England and the tragic death of John Rolfe after he returned to Chief Powhatan and delivered him the bad news.

Back to the Disney version of Pocahontas, I adore the song “Colors of the Wind” sung by Judy Khun .

In the song from the movie itself (Not Vanessa Williams’ version) it began with the lyrics, “You think I’m an ignorant savage. And you’ve been so many places; I guess it must be so. But still I cannot see, if the savage one is me. Now can there be so much that you don’t know? You don’t know…”

If I was still a Christian, maybe I might say that Pocahontas’ song was addressed to me. You see, too much fanaticism in religion tends to make you too intolerant with other life forms in this planet. Naturally, your tendency is to say that you, as a chosen of God, know what is best for everybody. If people only accept my belief (like Jesus saves) then that person is saved…in my Christian standard of thinking.

Those “ignorant savages” who don’t heed my warning will naturally be condemned to eternal damnation in hell.

Now, have you heard the parable from a Native American… Well…I guess not since this Injun guy is..er anonymous.

Anyway “Anon” (as he calls himself) has a story that tells about a young boy who asked his grandfather about these two wolves inside his mind. These two wolves constantly fight with each other. One wolf represents hate, arrogance, anger, intolerance and superiority. The other wolf represents love, peace, tolerance, understanding, empathy and compassion. The boy asked his grandfather who of the two wolves will win. The Grandfather replied, “The one whom you feed.”

It’s a simple Native American tale. For a Christian who is too hooked on his faith, the story is nothing more but empty babble from an aging Navaho. But for someone who left Fundamental Christianity, it speaks to the heart. That is the problem of fundamental Christianity. Yes, it speaks of love to your neighbors, yet it also speaks damnation, death and destruction to those who don’t follow its rules, doctrines and dogma.

Notice that we can find verses in the Bible that kindle spirits of intolerance toward people of different faith. It is a high priority on Christianity to love its model of a god. The book also contains records of mass murder and crimes against non-Hebrews. Yes, we can read the story of the Good Samaritan yet we can also read the story on how Jesus treated a non-Jewish woman – describing her as sub-human, as a dog.

This kind of mentality lingered till it reached modern Christian fundamentalism. Today, we can see literature from Christian book stores condemning those who practice New Age Religion. Cautioning people as if those who practice New Age are carrying a contagious disease. Rather than knowing why these people have engaged in this new religion, the majority of Christian fundies label these people as deceived fools.

In my Christian years I always thought that I was on the right side. Naturally, all those outside my circle are wrong. So being a Christian, it was my firm belief that everything outside my bubble of influence is from Satan the devil. There is no other choice.

Notice these few examples of how the most famous Christian Evangelists think these days:
Josh McDowell (author of “Evidence That Deserves a Verdict”) said in a Youth for Christ rally in 1994: “Tolerance is the worst roar of all, including tolerance for homosexuals, feminists, and religions that don’t follow Christ.”

The authors of that Christian book series “Left Behind” said that those from other religious faith should all be burn in hell howling and screeching.

Some American soldiers in Vietnam justify the massacre in Mai Lai that butchering babies would purge Vietnam of the commie stain and that they were on God’s side.

Susie Shellenberg explained it on her radio program “Life on the Edge”, “If you are a born-again Christian, you will go to heaven; if you’re following another religion, then by default you will go to hell.”

This is what Fundamental Christianity is all about.

Let us continue:
You think you own whatever land you land on
The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and trees and creature
Has a life, has a spirit has a name.

If you try to listen closely, the song highlights the animistic qualities of Native American beliefs. It should since “Colors of the Wind” was based on a Native American poem.

Native Americans and their culture suffered badly in the hands of the oppressive white invaders, both ethnically and their beliefs. Just read the accounts of what Fr. Serra did to the Native Americans in California.

Let’s not go farther, we can’t deny what Spanish missionaries did to the natives of Philippine Island. Today, thanks for the brain-washing, Filipinos now are condemning their own past heritage as pagans and uncivilized before Spanish Christianity. This is very sad.

“You think the only people who are people, are the people who look and think like you. But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you’ll learn things you never knew you never knew.”

Now you know why I left Christianity. The message of the song which Pocahontas sang is my reason why. The meaning is very clear. Intolerance with my fellow humans is a big cause why I am not a Christian anymore. Now that I left Christianity, I can now walk in the footstep of a stranger and learned things I never knew. Contrary to Christian claims, I now saw that there are also splendors outsider the Christian bubble of authority. There are some god-beliefs that are not as harsh as that of the Christians. Hinduism is a good example: Instead of having a jealous God, the Hindu Brahma declared, “I am the same to all mankind. They who honestly serve other gods involuntarily worship me. I am he who partakes of all worship, and I am the reward of all worshipers.”

The Bible teaches that slaves must obey their master yet a simple man named Epicurus, a man to whom no revelation was ever made, a man who has never heard the Jewish god nor has read the Christian Bible have said “Will you not remember that your servants are by nature your brothers, the children of god? In saying that you brought them, you look down on the earth, and into the pit, on the wrenched law of men long dead, but you see not the laws of the gods.”

We find the Bible God speaking on his chosen favorite people to buy bondsmen and bondwomen. Zeno, founder of Stoics, centuries before Christ was born insisted that no man could be the owner of another. Jesus, the Christian Messiah, was silent on that matter.

The same God also ordered his chosen people to kill foreigners who entered His temple yet a pagan named Cicero, who had never read the Bible, declare, “They who say that we should love our fellow citizen but not foreigners destroy the universal brotherhood of mankind, with which benevolence and justice would perish forever.”

Epicurus, another pagan, gave some marvelous guidance for human conduct that says “Live with thy inferiors as thou wouldst have thy superiors live with thee.”

The Bible God ordered his soldiers to spare not even the women, the suckling, the young people and the old folks in war. Seneca, a human being said “The wise man will not pardon any crime that ought to be punished, but he will accomplish, in a nobler way, all that is sought in pardoning. He will spare some and watch over some. Because of their youth, and others on ignorance. His clemency will not fall short in justice, but will fulfill it perfectly.”

Today, Christianity turns its head and accuse these noble pagans as “worldly fools!”

The song “Colors of the Wind” tells the beauty of animism in Native American religion. Here she talks about spirits in Nature that guides humans to their everyday life. There is really no talk of dogmas and doctrines, just an unfettered devotion to the world around you. It’s a simple form of worship.

Which reminds me of another story. A Christian evangelist tried to persuade a Hopi woman to read the Bible and accept Jesus as Savior and God. He handed a copy of the Bible to the woman so she could read it. The Hopi woman politely declined the offer and said, “You said that the Bible is where I can find god, yet if you leave that book outside, the rain, the wind and the Sun and all the elements outdoors will destroy it along with your god. Yet my God is the rain, the wind and the Sun and all the elements outdoors, so why will I need the god inside that book?”

Now that I left Fundamental Christianity, my perspective is much wider and I became happier. The chain is broken and I have stopped feeding the first wolf.

I hope that you have read my message and understand why I left Christianity. I wish that someday you will realize my choice so you may not be deaf to hear the voices of the mountains and not be blind so you can paint the colors of the wind.

Oh bless me Lord for I have sinned

It’s been a lifetime since I last confessed

I threw my crutches in “the river of a shadow of doubt”

And I’ll be dressed up in my Sunday best

That was a stanza from one of Green Day’s songs, East Jesus Nowhere. Every time somebody asks me why I am an Atheist, I quote their lines. Frankly, they don’t get it. It’s just a catchy tune with bad lyrics to them.

Aye. I admit I’m a Green Day fan, even since I was a kid. My mother’s forbidden me from buying American Idiot and 21^st Century Breakdown, but that’s what YouTube is for. People have called me a God-Hater, or a Satanist, or even a plain and simple Idiot and their countless variations for expressing my idiot. But then I ask: how would I hate something I know doesn’t exist, how would I believe in what I know is a figment of imagination, and how am I an idiot for using my reason and knowledge to arrive at a conclusion?

They asked for my opinion, and they got it.

But I know what I am. And I am a freethinker, one who has decided to swim against the tide and rely on logic and reason to find the answer to my questions.

That’s the journey. I kept asking, and I kept looking for answers when what I had didn’t satisfy me. As I grew, the being called God wasn’t good enough for my intent, the Bible left me with more questions than answers. I became more confused as I listened to the preachers. I then turned to logic and reason, science for the answers I sought.

I concluded that God was a hypocrite at best, and a total monster at worst. I finalized things by stating that I had no more business to do with him. I became an Atheist on December 22, 2010.

I don’t regret throwing my crutches in the river of a shadow of doubt, especially since I’ve discovered that I’ve been leaning on them when I could have walked upright using my own ability.

* * * * *

DISCLAIMER: Views expressed in this article represent the views of the author (InfinitySquared) and do not necessarily represent the editorial position of www.filipinofreethinkers.org.

Ooga booga.

Below is a short story I wrote a few years ago. Let’s just call it ‘light reading.’

Yaya

by Marguerite Alcazaren de Leon

Yaya wanted to be a model but Yaya did not tell Mama and Papa and me. Yaya wanted to be a model because Yaya had a picture-taking in our garden. Mama and Papa were in the office and Yaya thought I was napping already but I was hiding in the playhouse and the picture-taking was so exciting. The other yayas from the other houses were there also and helped her put on lots of makeup and curled her hair and Yaya wore a dress and the dress was very short and had lots of flowers on it and Yaya looked like part of the garden. Yaya looked so different. The face of Yaya was so yellow like the Goldenrod in my Crayola box and my Crayola box has 120 colors and my ex-best friend Alyanna is so inggit because she has 64 only. The lips of Yaya were Red-Violet, the cheeks of Yaya were Magenta and the eyelids of Yaya were Turquoise Blue. And I saw the skin of the arms of Yaya for the first time. And the chest skin of Yaya and the leg skin of Yaya. Yaya wore Tickle Me Pink high heels and she was so sexy. And the other yayas told her to smile with teeth and turn her head and they took a flower from our garden and Yaya put it near her face. The other yayas took lots and lots of pictures of Yaya. All of them looked so excited and they giggled a lot and they talked a lot but I did not understand what they said because I am not from Bohol.

Yaya made me say Guapaha nako uy! all the time. Yaya said it means I am pretty. Yaya made me say it one time when the other yayas from the other houses visited also and I said it and the other yayas laughed. Yaya said the other yayas laughed because I can say it and the other yayas cannot say it. I asked Yaya if she can say it and Yaya said no because she does not have a boyfriend. I said I did not have a boyfriend and Yaya said that is okay because I will have a boyfriend when I grow up because I am pretty and I am rich.

Yaya used Chin Chun Su all the time so she can have a boyfriend. Chin Chun Su looks funny and it smells funny and I do not like Chin Chun Su but maybe boys like it. Chin Chun Su is in a Carnation Pink oval and the oval has Chinese letters but Yaya does not know Chinese and I do not know Chinese so me and Yaya do not know what the Chinese letters mean and that makes me scared. Chin Chun Su is colored Dandelion. A dandelion is a light yellow flower but Chin Chun Su does not smell like a flower because Chin Chun Su smells sweet and sour and salty and it makes me so dizzy. Alyanna said that Yaya is a witch and Chin Chun Su is a magic paste and the magic paste is made of the faces of little girls. Yaya looked so funny when she put Chin Chun Su on her face. Yaya looked like her face was melting and maybe Chin Chun Su melts your face and it takes away the ugly parts. But Yaya always looked the same. Maybe boys can see that Yaya is more pretty and girls cannot see and that is a magic but not a black magic. Yaya is not a witch and Alyanna is so bobo and I miss Yaya so much.

Yaya said many people were so mean to her. I do not know why Yaya said that because Mama and Papa and me were so nice to her. Mama and Papa gave Yaya lots of pretty dresses and Yaya had a Navy Blue dress and a Cadet Blue dress and a Midnight Blue dress and all the dresses had a White apron and Yaya looked like Alice in Wonderland. And Mama and Papa always let Yaya go with us to the mall and eat with us at restaurants in her pretty dresses. (Yaya always ate little only but maybe Yaya was dieting so she can be sexy so she can have a boyfriend.) I told Mama I wanted dresses like the dresses of Yaya also but Mama said that kind is for Yaya only. So Mama got me a Thistle dress and a Mulberry dress and a Lavender dress and the dresses did not have aprons so I can look like Sleeping Beauty but Mama said they are for parties only. Yaya was so lucky.

Yaya had her own room also and it is a special room because it is downstairs and the window is so small. I want a room downstairs and that has a small window also because my room is upstairs and it has a big, big window and there is a big, big tree near the window and that makes me scared because a mumu can climb up the tree and go inside my room and eat me. A mumu cannot go inside the room of Yaya because there is no tree and the window is very small and if the mumu is very small it is more easy to escape because the room of Yaya is downstairs. And there is an iron in the room of Yaya and you can throw it at the mumu and hurt the mumu and you can run away. Yaya was more safe.

Every day Yaya took me to school and waited outside. Yaya said she went to school in Bohol and she wanted to go back to school again. I do not know why Yaya wanted to go back to school again because Yaya is so old already. There are chairs outside for the yayas and Yaya talked to the yayas but not the yaya of Alyanna because Yaya said the yaya of Alyanna is a bruha. Yaya said the yaya of Alyanna and Mang Danny who is our driver are boyfriend-girlfriend but Mang Danny is married also and Yaya said that is very bad. Yaya read books also when she waited for me and the books were small and they had pictures of boys and flowers on the covers and the boys wore pants only and Yaya said the boys were so guwapo. Alyanna said the books of Yaya are bad but I did not make sumbong to Mama and Papa about the books of Yaya because Alyanna was lying only because she was angry because I said Mang Danny and her yaya are boyfriend-girlfriend. Alyanna is bobo and a liar and Yaya said liars make Papa Jesus cry.

Me and Yaya watched TV in my room everyday when school was finished already. Me and Yaya watched Eat Bulaga! and Valiente and Mara Clara. Eat Bulaga! made Yaya laugh but Valiente made Yaya cry and Mara Clara made Yaya cry also. Valiente made Yaya cry because the house there is small and it is made of wood and it looked like the house of Yaya in Bohol and Mara Clara made Yaya cry because Mara was so kawawa because Clara was so mean to her. Yaya stopped crying only when Papa Jesus told us to pray on TV. I wanted to cry when Papa Jesus was on TV because Papa Jesus was so scary because his voice was so low like the voice of a mumu and his heart was outside his body and his heart was on fire. Papa Jesus on TV said Lord, have mercy and Yaya said mercy is for people that are kawawa so I said Lord have mercy for Alyanna but I did not look at the TV because Papa Jesus was looking back.

I said Lord have mercy also when Yaya had the accident. Me and Yaya were playing Chinese garter in the garage with Mang Danny and Manang Etang who is our labandera. It was the turn of Yaya and Mang Danny and Manag Etang were holding the Chinese garter and I wanted to wiwi. I wanted to wiwi but it was the turn of Yaya and I said Yaya I want to wiwi but Yaya said later. But I wanted to wiwi already and it was so painful and I could not wait and Yaya was taking so long because the Chinese garter was so high already and Yaya was thinking how to jump. So I made wiwi on the floor of the garage and the floor of the garage was so wet and the color of my wiwi was Unmellow Yellow. Yaya did not see me wiwi and she jumped so high and she went to the other side and she stepped on my wiwi and she slipped and she fell. The face of Yaya was on the floor of the garage and the wiwi was on her clothes and it was so yucky. Manang Etang shouted and shouted and Mang Danny ran to Yaya and helped Yaya stand up and I saw the face of Yaya and I screamed because the chin of Yaya was so yucky. The chin of Yaya was Ultra Red and Hot Magenta and Razzle Dazzle Rose and it looked so wet and so sticky and so painful and I cried because Yaya was so kawawa. Mang Danny took Yaya to the bathroom and he put tissue on the chin of Yaya and he hugged Yaya and Yaya hugged Mang Danny also.

After the accident Yaya was so weird. The chin of Yaya had a big Band-Aid and Yaya looked so funny but Yaya did not look sad. Yaya was smiling always and Yaya was singing always and Yaya stopped doing lots of things. Yaya stopped reading the books with the pictures of the boys and flowers on the covers and Yaya stopped saying bad things about the yaya of Alyanna and Yaya stopped watching TV in my room when school was finished already. After the accident Yaya put me in my bed and told me to sleep and closed the door always when school was finished already. Mama said Yaya should guard me always but I did not make sumbong because Yaya looked more happy always when she came back to give me merienda and I want Yaya to be happy always.

One day in school Alyanna said she did not want to be my best friend anymore. Alyanna said her yaya said my Yaya and Mang Danny are boyfriend-girlfriend and I got mad and I said Alyanna you are gaya-gaya and you are a liar and the devil will kidnap you and you will go to hell. I said also Alyanna if you do not want to be my best friend anymore you cannot borrow my Crayola anymore and you will be so kawawa and you will be so lonely. Alyanna said so what and she said she was not a liar and I was a liar and I was like my Yaya because I was a very bad girl and she wished that a mumu will eat me and Yaya when we go to sleep later. I said Alyanna I hate you you are stupid you are not my best friend anymore and I can say Guapaha nako uy! and you cannot say Guapaha nako uy! and you are so stupid and I hate you forever and ever and ever and ever. Alyanna said stop saying weird words because that is a black magic and you are a witch and I do not want to talk to you anymore. And then Alyanna walked away.

That night I was so scared and I did not want to sleep in my room because maybe the wish of Alyanna would come true and a mumu would eat me. I was scared also that the mumu would eat Yaya also. Alyanna was bobo and gaya-gaya and a liar but wishes can come true. I looked outside the big, big window of my room and the big, big tree outside my window looked so scary and I did not know if a mumu was hiding in the leaves of the big, big tree because the moon and the stars were missing and it was so dark and I was so scared. So I ran downstairs to the room of Yaya and knocked on the door of the room of Yaya and shouted Yaya Yaya let me in but Yaya did not answer for a long time and I knocked again and I shouted again but Yaya still did not answer and I was so scared. I thought maybe Yaya did not answer because maybe a mumu was inside the room of Yaya already and it was eating Yaya already and I had to save Yaya so I tried to open the door of Yaya and it was not locked and I ran inside and I screamed.

A mumu was on the bed of Yaya and Yaya was bomba and the mumu was on top of Yaya and he was going to eat Yaya! The mumu was growling and pushing Yaya again and again and again and the bed of Yaya was shaking so hard and the eyes of Yaya were so big and the mouth of Yaya was open and Yaya was trying to breathe. I did not know what to do. I wanted to save Yaya but the mumu looked so strong and its back was the color Sepia and it was so hairy and sweaty and it was growling and I was so scared and I closed my eyes and I screamed again. I screamed and I screamed and I screamed and I screamed and I ran out of the room of Yaya and went upstairs to the room of Mama and Papa and shouted MAMA PAPA HELP A MUMU IS EATING YAYA AND WE HAVE TO SAVE YAYA QUICK!

Yaya disappeared after that. Mama and Papa told me to stay in their room and when I woke up Yaya was gone. I asked Mama and Papa where is Yaya where did Yaya go and Mama and Papa said Yaya went away but I know that Yaya is gone forever and ever because the mumu ate Yaya already and Mama and Papa said that only because they did not want me to cry but I cried and I cried and I cried. Mang Danny disappeared also maybe because he did not want to work for us anymore because the mumu might return and go in the garage where Mang Danny sleeps and eat Mang Danny also. I wish Alyanna did not make that wish and I hate her so much.

The mumu ate Yaya last week and I have a new Yaya and a new best friend now. My new Yaya is okay. My new Yaya is from Masbate and she likes to watch TV with me also but Valiente and Mara Clara do not make her cry and she likes to play Chinese garter also but she cannot jump very high because she is very short and she does not use Chin Chun Su and she prays the rosary and she says that the rosary will make the mumu go away so I tell her to pray the rosary all the time. My new best friend is okay also and her name is Clarissa. Clarissa is Grade Three already and I am Kinder Two only but I am her best friend because before Clarissa did not have friends because she is in a wheelchair and her leg is missing and she is so kawawa. I like her very much because she is so very nice to me and she does not say bad things to me and she says to me please let’s be best friends forever and ever and ever please always. Clarissa has Crayola that is 120 colors also but that is okay because I have five Polly Pockets and she has two only and her yaya is the sister of my new Yaya and she goes to my house and plays with me all the time and I told her Alyanna is bobo and gaya-gaya and a liar and she is now mad at Alyanna also and we laugh at her always.

I do not want to think about Yaya because I do not want to be sad. But there is a letter for Yaya from the mailman today and me and Clarissa opened the letter and Clarissa read the letter for me because Yaya is dead now. Clarissa said the letter is from a man and his name is Greg and he is from America and there is a picture of Greg in the letter and he is so tall and he has Maize hair and he is so guwapo. Greg says that Yaya is so beautiful and sexy and that Yaya looks like a model and that she looks like the flower that she is holding in the picture also. Greg says also that he read the profile of Yaya and the profile of Yaya made him so sad and he wants to marry Yaya and wants her to live with him in a place called Arizona and they will have so many babies and he will take care of her and he will make her so happy forever and ever and ever and ever. Clarissa and me do not know what a profile is but maybe a profile is the letter that Yaya wrote to Greg because Greg wrote a letter to Yaya also. Greg says also that he hopes that Yaya will say yes I will marry you and he hopes that she will say it soon and he says he will send her the airplane ticket when she says yes. And then Greg says love, Greg and Greg says XOXOXO and then the letter is finished already.

The letter makes me so sad because the letter could make Yaya so happy but Yaya is dead already and she cannot read the letter. One day I will get a letter from a man from America also and he will ask me to marry him and he will make me so happy also and Alyanna will be so inggit and I know that Yaya will smile at me from heaven when I get the letter. I will get the letter because I am pretty and I am rich and I am looking at the big, big clouds like big, White marshmallows in the big, Blue sky now so Yaya can see me smile. ●

This is dedicated to Carlos Celdran. For taking a stand against the CBCP, he was charged with “notoriously offending religious feelings.”

A creationist dressed as a priest entered a science conference on natural selection.

While an evolutionist was discussing his latest discovery, the creationist walked to the front of the stage, carrying a huge illustration board. The creationist faced the audience and held the board high above his head, revealing the name written on it: D A R W I N.

The evolutionist stopped talking. The audience fell silent.

“Darwin!” the creationist suddenly cried with indignation. “Darwin!”

Eyes opened. Mouths gaped.

The audience was starting to murmur when the creationist cried: “The world was created in six days! Stop contradicting Christian beliefs! Separate science from religion!”

A security guard approached the creationist and escorted him out of the conference room. He was banned from participating in the conference any further.

Some blogged about the creationist’s protest, but it never made the news.

The conference organizers thought about filing a case against the creationist. Unfortunately, it’s not illegal to notoriously offend scientific beliefs or rational thinking.