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Cardinal Tagle’s Papacy Campaign Just Got Fabulous!

Hey people! It’s election season! I’m not talking about the local elections though. It’s also the campaign season in the Vatican, thanks to the recent vacancy of the Iron papal throne.

The Philippines is of course abuzz with talk of our very own Cardinal Tagle being one of the favourites to ascend to the throne of infallibility, but what Philippine political campaign is complete without an election jingle? Youtube user ‘latigorapper’ has taken it upon himself to create a jingle for Cardinal Tagle… and oh my.

It. Is. So. Fabulous.

If you listened to the jingle, I am so so sorry. If you spared yourself, the jingle is set to The Village People’s YMCA. Which some of you may know as a popular gay anthem. So, you know…fabulous!

If Cardinal Tagle becomes the next pope, can we credit the LGBT community for the win?

Seriously though, Filipinos should reconsider being so supportive of Cardinal Tagle becoming pope if they want to see change in the Catholic church. The church is not a democracy (no shit Sherlock) and the leadership has made it very clear that they’re not looking to change the moral stances of the church.

Instead, ask yourself if you can stay in a church that is clearly morally backwards while it claims to be your moral guardian. Can you stand to stay in a church that is fighting to keep allowing use of religion as an excuse for governments to not stop violence against women? Can your moral needs be fulfilled by a church that would choose to shield sexual abusers from legal prosecution while it throws the book at people who offend their religious feelings? If your own moral compass cannot agree with the morals handed down by the papacy, is there any reason to stay with the church?

Oh, and because I hate my readers, here are the lyrics to the jingle:

Cardinal Tagle, Our Next Pope
By: Latigo
Lyrics By: Latigo
Original Song: YMCA by the Village People.


Tagle, i know he is the one
i say Tagle, he is a soldier of god
i say Tagle, he won’t do any bad
and he’ll lead us to do good things

Tagle, a man of love and care
i say Tagle, he is just and fair
i say Tagle, i know he will be there
for the churches of all nations


our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle
our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle eh

he will do what he can, as a shepherd of men
to bring peace to our land

our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle
our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle eh

he will listen to us, he’s a man we can trust,
he will pray for all of us


Tagle, he’s a healthy young man
i say Tagle, he’s a righteous man
i say Tagle, he’s a moral man
and he’ll spread the gospel in our world

Tagle, looks out for everyone
i say Tagle, will pick us up when we’re down
i say Tagle, and the lost will be found
and he’ll guide us all to heaven


our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle
our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle eh

he will do what he can, as a shepherd of men
to bring peace to our land

our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle
our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle eh

he will listen to us, he’s a man we can trust,
he will pray for all of us


Tagle, an inspiration for all
i say Tagle, will heed jesus’s call
i say Tagle, cause he will stand tall
he’ll defend his flock from evil

Tagle, a good samaritan
i say Tagle, he helps fellow men
i say Tagle, will talk to god everyday
so he can show us all the right way


our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle
our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle eh

he will do what he can, as a shepherd of men
to bring peace to our land

our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle
our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle eh

he will listen to us, he’s a man we can trust,
he will pray for all of us

I am so so sorry.

P.S.: The jingle is seriously not ours and is not satire.
P.P.S: Seriously, seriously, I know FF is known for doing satire but this is not a satire post.

Posted in Humor, Music0 Comments

Freethinker Music Weekly: The Maynard James Keenan edition

Maynard James Keenan is god. There are millions of people who support his bands in a way no different from how some people become really into cults and other religious organizations. His charisma and draw is only paralleled by Tool and A Perfect Circle‘s amazing music.  Many Tool fans (pun almost intended) have gotten the almost fair reputation of being overbearing and annoying – pretty much like the hipsters of metal/ hard rock. If you think about it, the perceptions regarding the “annoying Tool fan” and “angry atheist” are almost identical!

Aside from having annoying fans (i.e. the most important thing when considering a band to listen to), Tool and A Perfect Circle have penned songs that openly challenges religion (Christianity and Scientology in particular). In later albums, MJK also wrote songs that have a strong connection to the philosophy of existentialism.

Sober is quite possibly the most well-known Tool song of all time. It has been around for over 20 years and its music video is still considered as one of the best rock videos. The song pretty much talks about how immersion in religion puts one in an inebriated state.

Intolerance comes from the same album as Sober (Undertow) and its theme is the excesses of the religious establishment.

Veil of virtue hung to hide your method
while I smile and laugh and dance
and sing your praise and glory.
Shroud of virtue hung to mask your stigma
as I smile and laugh and dance
and sing your glory
while you
lie, cheat, and steal.
How can I tolerate you.

Eulogy pulls out the stops in terms of debunking the whole rationality and consistency of the Christian myth within the Christian logic universe. At the end of the day, he did want to be on the cross to be big hero, yes? 😉

Come down.
Get off your fuckin cross.
We need the fuckin space to nail the next fool martyr.

To ascend you must die.
You must be crucified
For your sins and your lies

Posted in Entertainment, Music4 Comments

Freethinker Music Weekly 2: Pop

In the world of music, no word has changed meaning so many times in existence as the term “pop”. This genre used to be known as the great sound that spurred the meteoric rise of the careers of now legendary musicians like Michael Jackson, Prince and Madonna but in the past 15 years it has come to mean something else – a type of music consistent with cookie-cutter manufactured singers who would be irrelevant musically after a couple of years.

One could actually argue that most pop songs are inherently compatible with some form of freethought. Much of what is being peddled in top40 charts now have something to do with hedonism of some sort. The whole point of this column to help people find good music (that happens to have freethought themes) so the quality of the composition takes precedence over anything else.

John Lennon

Let’s start with the big guns, shall we? Everybody knows that John Lennon is one of the members of the greatest pop-rock band of all time and there is no doubt that he would have been making great music up to now if it weren’t for his untimely death.

Many people actually think that the song Imagine is one of the most hypocritical albums of all time. Lennon was a beneficiary of the capitalist way of life so “having no possessions” would certainly be out of the question. Lennon -and the other Beatles – also had a very esoteric approach to religion;they often went to India to study levitation and talk to gurus.

On it’s own however, Imagine is a reflection of a Utopian dream. This world will certainly generate its own set of problems in the long run but it sure tried to get rid of all the problems (wars, poverty and jadedness) that we have now.

Tori Amos

Few people in music is as intriguing, interesting and talented as the enigmatic Tori Amos. Most of her hardcore fans would probably detest the idea of having her placed in the “pop” category but she’s certainly one of the best among the top-selling artists of her generation.

The song God is a very strong message of agnosticism that were veiled with random musings on daily life. It’s a song that most people can relate to and would probably have different interpretations of the lyrics. The video above is actually from a 1994 taping of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno so you have to give Tori props for staying so good for practically two decades already.


Dear God is a diatribe against the veneer of the god “image” that most people would like to see or imagine. There is enough restraint in the delivery to not make it go to overkill territory but the lyrics certainly are sharp and scathing:

Did you make disease, and the diamond blue? Did you make
Mankind after we made you? And the devil too!

Coupled with the music video concept, the song does transform into a whole new other animal – strangely very compelling and visceral with the way it communicates anger and disappointment.

The Script

This was mentioned in the comments section of last week’s column. The song is a big hit and was even recently used as an audition piece in an episode of American Idol. Thematically, the song doesn’t really reflect any freethinking leanings but the second line sure is telling

just prayed to a god that I don’t believe in

The song was even censored by an Alabama radio station (Go Bible Belt!). The Friendly Atheist even wrote about the whole deal in his blog.

So there you go kids, another week, another set of songs to fill the empty void in your heart brought about by your deep and intense devotion to freethinking. If you want to share other bands that have freethought-themed lyrics, feel free to use the comments section.

‘Til next week!
Class dismissed.

Posted in Entertainment, Music6 Comments

Freethinker Music Weekly

Music is one of mankind’s greatest achievements as far as self-expression is concerned. If you think about it, music wasn’t a vital adaptation that the species needed to devise as humans were developing through time. Fortunately, music is here to stay and there is literally a world of genres and styles to choose from.

It’s no secret that the Christian music genre is a very lucrative one. Many artists make millions singing about their faith and Christian Rock is still fairly popular. It’s fairly easy to research bands who sing about these topics and there are also bands like Creed who don’t go on the record for being Christian but most people can somehow assume that they are. Continue Reading

Posted in Entertainment, Music9 Comments