Categorized | Humor, Music

Cardinal Tagle’s Papacy Campaign Just Got Fabulous!

Hey people! It’s election season! I’m not talking about the local elections though. It’s also the campaign season in the Vatican, thanks to the recent vacancy of the Iron papal throne.

The Philippines is of course abuzz with talk of our very own Cardinal Tagle being one of the favourites to ascend to the throne of infallibility, but what Philippine political campaign is complete without an election jingle? Youtube user ‘latigorapper’ has taken it upon himself to create a jingle for Cardinal Tagle… and oh my.

It. Is. So. Fabulous.

If you listened to the jingle, I am so so sorry. If you spared yourself, the jingle is set to The Village People’s YMCA. Which some of you may know as a popular gay anthem. So, you know…fabulous!

If Cardinal Tagle becomes the next pope, can we credit the LGBT community for the win?

Seriously though, Filipinos should reconsider being so supportive of Cardinal Tagle becoming pope if they want to see change in the Catholic church. The church is not a democracy (no shit Sherlock) and the leadership has made it very clear that they’re not looking to change the moral stances of the church.

Instead, ask yourself if you can stay in a church that is clearly morally backwards while it claims to be your moral guardian. Can you stand to stay in a church that is fighting to keep allowing use of religion as an excuse for governments to not stop violence against women? Can your moral needs be fulfilled by a church that would choose to shield sexual abusers from legal prosecution while it throws the book at people who offend their religious feelings? If your own moral compass cannot agree with the morals handed down by the papacy, is there any reason to stay with the church?

Oh, and because I hate my readers, here are the lyrics to the jingle:

Cardinal Tagle, Our Next Pope
By: Latigo
Lyrics By: Latigo
Original Song: YMCA by the Village People.

I

Tagle, i know he is the one
i say Tagle, he is a soldier of god
i say Tagle, he won’t do any bad
and he’ll lead us to do good things

Tagle, a man of love and care
i say Tagle, he is just and fair
i say Tagle, i know he will be there
for the churches of all nations

CHORUS:

our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle
our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle eh

he will do what he can, as a shepherd of men
to bring peace to our land

our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle
our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle eh

he will listen to us, he’s a man we can trust,
he will pray for all of us

II

Tagle, he’s a healthy young man
i say Tagle, he’s a righteous man
i say Tagle, he’s a moral man
and he’ll spread the gospel in our world

Tagle, looks out for everyone
i say Tagle, will pick us up when we’re down
i say Tagle, and the lost will be found
and he’ll guide us all to heaven

CHORUS:

our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle
our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle eh

he will do what he can, as a shepherd of men
to bring peace to our land

our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle
our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle eh

he will listen to us, he’s a man we can trust,
he will pray for all of us

III

Tagle, an inspiration for all
i say Tagle, will heed jesus’s call
i say Tagle, cause he will stand tall
he’ll defend his flock from evil

Tagle, a good samaritan
i say Tagle, he helps fellow men
i say Tagle, will talk to god everyday
so he can show us all the right way

CHORUS:

our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle
our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle eh

he will do what he can, as a shepherd of men
to bring peace to our land

our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle
our next pope should be Cardinal Tagle eh

he will listen to us, he’s a man we can trust,
he will pray for all of us

I am so so sorry.


P.S.: The jingle is seriously not ours and is not satire.
P.P.S: Seriously, seriously, I know FF is known for doing satire but this is not a satire post.

 
DISCLAIMER: The opinions in this post do not necessarily represent the position of the Filipino Freethinkers.

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