Arguing for the RH Bill with “Bishop Logic”

 

The Bishops of the Philippines have some really shitty logic and they have been using this logic to spew lies and misinformation regarding the RH Bill.

Just this morning I came across an article called, “Bishop compares President Aquino to Connecticut shooter because of the Reproductive Health bill.”

Here are some of the highlights of that article:

According to a report by Evelyn Macairan of the Philippine Star, “Batangas Archbishop Ramon Arguelles yesterday said that while a 20-year-old gunman killed 20 children in the US, President Aquino would be killing millions of children with a stroke of a pen if he signs the RH bill into law.” 

After Typhoon Pablo hit the southern Philippines, another Church leader, Manila Auxiliary Bishop Broderick Pabillo said, “the typhoon that left more than a thousand dead, could be a message from God about the RH bill.”

These conclusions don’t make sense. They infuriate me. So, as a thought experiment I wondered what arguments for the RH Bill I could come up with if, like these bishops, I used non sequitur arguments (“RH Bill caused Typhoon Pablo”), false analogies (Pinoy is like the Connecticut shooter), and other illogical statements.

Let’s call this game the “Bishop Logic” game.

Argument #1:

1. Bishops and other members of the clergy like to sexually abuse children. In fact, the Catholic Church even has a Wikipage dedicated entirely to information about Catholic sex abuse cases. “The Catholic sex abuse cases are a series of convictions, trials and investigations into allegations of child sexual abuse crimes committed by Catholic priests and members of Roman Catholic orders against children as young as 3 years old with the majority between the ages of 11 and 14.”

2. Children living in depressed conditions are often neglected or under-supervised. “A number of prevalence and incidence studies have highlighted the link between poverty and some forms of child maltreatment, especially neglect, emotional and physical abuse.”

3. Family planning will reduce the number of under-supervised and underprivileged children.

Therefore:

“Bishops don’t want the RH Bill to pass because there will be less underprivileged and under-supervised children they would be free to molest.”

Argument #2:

1. God often tests the faith of his “people.”

2. The Catholic Church are supposedly God’s “people.”

3. Typhoon Pablo hit the Southern Philippines.

4. The Catholic Church is rolling in money. In fact, they are able to afford over $2 billion worth of sex abuse settlements. This astronomical number is even expected to rise towards $5 billion in the near future.

Therefore:

“Typhoon Pablo hit the southern Philippines because God wants to test the priorities of the Catholic Church. God wants to find out wherther the Church will use their wealth to help the victims of Typhoon Pablo OR to keep more child molesters unpunished.”

Argument #3:

1. “Higher levels of education lead to lower levels of religious participation later in life“.

2. “Early childbearing can interfere with education, so those with early or frequent childbearing are likely to be less educated.”

3. Sexual education will prevent a woman from having early or infrequent childbearing. “Teens who received comprehensive sex education were 60 percent less likely to report becoming pregnant or impregnating someone than those who received no sex education.”

Therefore:

“The Catholic clergy is against the RH Bill because it wants you to be pregnant and out-of-school. They don’t want you to be educated because the more education you get, the higher the chance that you would stop believing their bullshit and giving them money.”

In summary, using “Bishop Logic,” we have 3 explanations as to why the Catholic church is against the RH Bill:

1. “Bishops don’t want the RH Bill to pass because there will be less underprivileged and under-supervised children they would be free to molest.”

2. “Typhoon Pablo hit the southern Philippines because God wants to test the priorities of the Catholic Church. God wants to find out wherther the Church will use their wealth to help the victims of Typhoon Pablo OR to keep more child molesters unpunished.”

3. “The Catholic clergy wants you to be pregnant and out-of-school. They don’t want you to be educated because the more education you get, the higher the chance that you would stop believing their bullshit and giving them money.”

However, regardless of how much “sense” these arguments “seem” to make, being a freethinker, it is my responsibility to tell you that these arguments, for varied reasons, are not entirely logical. I simply wanted to show what kind of arguments the pro-RH side would come up with if they resorted to the same “Bishop Logic” that these clergymen use to make their arguments.

So don’t listen to the dumb shit stupid old men say, because “Bishop logic” is not logical.

Image from justinvacula.com

 
DISCLAIMER: The opinions in this post do not necessarily represent the position of the Filipino Freethinkers.

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