Memo to God

To:          God (in all your names and guises, throughout the history of humanity)

Cc:          Your prophets, dead or alive

From:   Your alleged creation

Date:     A mere blink of eternity’s eye

Re:         Violence committed because of you

——

I am writing this memo to request that You clear Your name once and for all; and, while You are at it, please include the name of Your prophets, dead or alive. Since you are omnipresent and omniscient, I’m sure that you already know that throughout the history of mankind, Your precious humanity has proclaimed you to be the reason why they have committed violence. You have been the eternal excuse for countless murders, for lives made miserable because these persons were deemed to be not following Your words, and for never-ending feelings of hatred. Your name, Your words, Your commands, Your existence have all been implicated with a lot of violent and intolerant behavior. You have been accused as the mastermind behind all this violence and intolerance.

To clarify some matters, I have prepared some questions here for You to answer. I hope You’ll find a spot in Your busy schedule to answer them:

Did You really tell these mortal creatures that violence and intolerance are needed in order to believe that You exist? To worship You? To thank You for Your wonderful creation and for Your blessings?

Is there really a need for gore in order to exalt Your glory? How many people should be killed in order to prove that You are indeed the one and the only Divine Master of the universe?

Do You really hate satire? Do You ever laugh at Yourself? Do you laugh when violence is committed in Your name?

As the most powerful and highest being ever in the Universe, do You feel bullied when mere mortals laugh at you? Are You happy when mortals are being bullied because of You?

Do You hate being criticized? If Yes, given that You created everything that is and will ever be in this universe, why did You create critical thinking? Do You really want those people who criticize You to be killed, imprisoned, or bullied? Don’t You want feedback?

As the Owner of the universe, do You really need our money? Do You really need big houses? What do You need a country for?

Aren’t you tired of seeing these mere mortals act as if they were You? Of speaking, allegedly, on behalf of You? Of using You as an excuse for their behavior? Can’t You speak for Yourself? Can You once and for all reclaim the dignity of the office of Your eternal magnificence?

Thank you and hope to hear from You soon!

 

2 comments

  1. Creationism: Believing yourself to be divinely created even when all biological evidence points to the contrary.

    Transsexualism: Believing yourself to be of a certain gender even when all biological evidence points to the contrary.

  2. To: my alleged creation

    Cc: all my other alleged creations

    From: god

    Date: today

    Re: your letter

    dear a.c.,

    you’re hilarious. keep it up.

    eternally and magnificently yours,

    g.

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