God: I am on Raymart Santiago’s Side

Raymart Santiago, together with Claudine Barreto, close friends, and family, called a press conference yesterday to present undeniable proof of their innocence despite lack of CCTV footage.

In a statement read by Atty. Alex Avisado, legal counsel of Santiago, God corroborated Santiago’s recent statements:

“My most precious child, Raymart Santiago, has recently said that I, God, whose name shall not be taken in vain except when one is really, really in trouble, am on his side. This is the Truth.

“I was in Heaven talking to Jesus when I heard Raymart’s pious prayer. I appeared in the airport as the Holy Spirit where I witnessed — swear to Myself — Mon Tulfo hurting and harassing Raymart and his family, like the Pharoah persecuting My people. Tulfo totally started it.

“As with Moses, I gave Raymart, the strength to overcome Tulfo’s persecution and protect his loved ones. Raymart’s strength and righteousness is proof that I was on his side. He is a faithful servant, like Jeremy Lin and Tim Tebow. And also a good actor.

Santiago hopes the statement convinces fellow Christians of his innocence and Tulfo’s guilt. “We may not have CCTV footage,” said Santiago, “but our faith in God’s Word is more than enough. If God is on our side, He can’t be on Tulfo’s.”

6 comments

  1. my god, thank you for making me laugh tonight.
    please guide the next folks that will comment on this article to check the article's CATEGORY first before posting.
    or not. and let me laugh some more.
    rofl

  2. kaya nga laging nagdadasal si pacquio para mabugbog nya maige ang kalaban nya… kasi na kay paquiao ang ating panginoong diyos… gusto ng diyos na maging duguan sa mukha ang kalaban nya… or TKO…

  3. Why is God taking sides on such issues?! Uh. The real issue, by the way, today is the Corona trial not this shitty issue. LOL at the Santiagos using God's name as if they will be defended successfully.

    • Because their god is too flaky to stick to its Divine Master Plan(TM). It lets hunger kill millions in Africa go on and on while it's busy taking interest in Reymart's side. If only Mr Tulfo will write less chismis and more journalism, god may take interest in him too. Though it isn't written in the bible, god may have preferential treatment for Christians over those starving Africans and dislike chismis more than Claudine who is probably very unlikable already.

  4. That has got to be the most delusional and irrational statement ever. Their god is taking sides now eh?

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