God Goes to a Freedom of Expression Rally

To the protesters of the artwork “Poleteismo,”

The universe is composed of millions and millions of galaxies. Inside a single galaxy are millions and millions of solar systems. In one solar system, among millions, there is a star Earthlings call the sun. Around that sun are several planets. One of those planets is called Earth. The planet Earth has around 6.94 billion people.

The planet Earth has several continents. One of those continents is called Asia. Somewhere in Southeast Asia you can find a country called the Philippines. The Philippines has 7,107 islands. Sometimes it has 7,108, depending on the tide or depending on my mood. Those islands are divided into three areas – Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao.

In Luzon, there is a city called Manila. In that city, there was an exhibit. In that exhibit, one artist displayed an artwork that was blasphemous.

So fucking what?

Gentlemen, I run the universe. Do you really think I’d give a fuck about one artwork, by one artist, in one exhibit, in one city, in one country, in one continent, in one planet, in one solar system, when I have billions of galaxies to worry about?

I’m God, dude. Like I told you in my last letter to mankind, I don’t sweat the small stuff because I have important things to do: plagues, diseases, earthquakes, epic, shock-and-awe, apocalyptic, God stuff.

Imagine a droplet of pee hanging at the edge of the rim of a random toilet bowl. Now, imagine that in that droplet of pee are millions of tiny little germs. Now, imagine that one germ from those million germs makes an artwork you do not appreciate. Are you going to go there and punish that germ?

You wouldn’t, right? Because the germ is so amazingly irrelevant, inconsequential, insignificant and unimportant to your existence that you would be embarrassed to even think of considering feeling even slightly bothered about some germ.

You know how you feel about the germ’s art? That’s how I feel about the “blasphemous” exhibit.

I am not offended.

In fact, I don’t care at all.

So, stop praying about how I should send fireballs from the sky and blow up some art because some dude put my image in vain. I told you, praying doesn’t work. I have a divine plan and my plan is divine so it’s better than your plan, so shut up.

I mean, seriously, do you think that the creator of the universe and a million galaxies would be “offended” by an artwork?

Just to show you how annoyed I am at these assumptions, I went out of my way and descended from heaven to attend the “free speech” rally myself.

I was there.

When I first got there, I was told that the march might not push through because of the rain. So, I was like, “Nah! I’ll handle that.” So, that’s me stopping the rain:

I was also introduced to Mideo Cruz. He was like, “I’m sorry if you were offended Jesus, there was a statement I wanted to make so I had to use your image in vain.” I was like, “Don’t worry about it, dude. Blasphemy is a human right.” So, that’s me forgiving Mideo Cruz:

That’s me NOT being offended:

That’s me being handsome:

That’s me having a little chat with Kenneth Keng. He’s like, “Hey Jesus, I’m a Christian.” I’m like, “Awesome, man. We’ll hang out later.” That guy on my left is Red Tani. He doesn’t talk to me. We will not “hang out” later:

I’m just kidding, people. I’m not really God.

I’m just some dude dressed up like this guy:

I seriously wanted to dress up like God, unfortunately, I didn’t know what God looked like. I’ve never seen Him before. Have you? See, when you accuse someone of using God’s image in vain, the premise has to be that you know what God’s image looks like, right?

So, tell me, what does God look like?

6 comments

  1. @tong-its:

    "God looks like you and me, dude."

    That is the general assumption, mate. But that's all it is – an assumption.

    "If people defaced my pic in public i'd go raging mad and probably so will you."

    I agree. But the anger provoked by the defacement of your image or my image is actually more justified because we are real people with real faces that we associate our identity with. You can actually verify that it is really you who is being defaced by examining how similar your face is with the face of the defaced image.

    The defacement of a symbol that represents an abstract, unverifiable, subjective concept is not an actual offense against God because the images that believers have chosen to represent their God with is not the same as the actual image of God.

    The problem with defending the "image of God" is that you can't verify if it is actually the real image of a real God. When you defend the "image of God," the only thing you're defending is your opinion or idea of the image of God.

    Opinions and ideas are not sacred and neither should they be immune to criticism.

    Blasphemy is a hostile act in the sense that it is an outright rejection and mockery of an idea one does not agree with, but again, people have the fundamental human right to disagree with an idea and express that disagreement. It is no different from when a young-Earth creationist makes fun of an evolutionist by dressing up like a monkey and saying, "Woohoo! Look at me. Stupid evolutionists think that I can turn into a human being!"

  2. God looks like you and me, dude. if people defaced my pic in public i'd go raging mad and probably so will you. sheep need to look up to a shepherd, so they made an image of a supreme shepherd and assumed the image itself. who will glorify the image of sheep anyway? when mideo cruz stuck a phallus on the shepherd's face, the sheep went mad. of course, there is no shepherd to begin with. it is a creation of a flock that needed a shepherd in form. there was no angry and offended shepherd, but plenty of angry sheep, is the point. poleitismo brought embarrassment to faceless sheep that carved a shepherd and gave it qualities fit for glorification. again, who glorifies the image of sheep anyway?

Leave a reply

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here