Categorized | Entertainment, Humor

A Line To Heaven

 

Whatchoo talkin’ about, Willis?

From the beginning of the May 21 episode of the (in)famous (?) TV show on GMA 7 called “Mind Master,” you knew you were in for quite a treat. Joey De Leon somberly asks the audience if they would jump at the chance to speak to a dead loved one if it were possible. Two big “if” questions, but clearly, with the truthiness of a million exploding suns, our very own Mind Master, Nomer Lasala, will demonstrate it handily.

Would this face ever lie to you?

Nation, it appears we have finally found a line to heaven in the form of Nomer Lasala.

Now, don’t be alarmed, people: you are still reading Filipino Freethinkers, and it was their idea that yours truly come over here and tell you about this unmistakably real demonstration of psychic phenomenon, as Nomer Lasala consoles a grieving Ali Sotto on national television with 100% certified genuine messages from beyond the grave, courtesy of her late son, Miko Sotto. Despite his diminutive size, this technically makes Mr. Lasala what you would call a “medium,” someone who can speak to the dead and send us messages from them because they’re just incredibly awesomely gifted human beings like that. Truly, if you liberate your mind, nothing could be more free than to think that dead people can still tell you what to do through trustworthy, unimpeachable mediums with the indubitable claim that they can speak to the dead.

Now, being a mentalist as well, a lot of people have actually turned to yours truly to ask if any of this is real, and if it truly is possible to talk to the dead.

Well, if we would rely on this particular episode, the answer is unequivocally yes. Skeptics can’t even begin to question how Nomer adequately gave so many specific details that only Ali Sotto could’ve possibly known, like the fact that Miko Sotto was her son, and the fact that Miko loved his mother very much. At this point, she tearfully asked Nomer if he could ask Miko for help, because hey, if you’re going to trust someone, you may as well trust the pickup artist guy who calls himself The Charlatan, right? I’m sure whatever message Miko may have had for Ali Sotto, that was a truly accurate message that in no way provided any kind of false hope for Ms. Sotto. Surely, it would take an exceptional kind of douchebag to capitalize on the grief of people for the sake of popping some TV ratings!

Not pictured here at all: exploitation.

When pressed for further elaboration, the Mind Master decided to ease up a bit and simply tell the teary-eyed Ali Sotto that if she wanted more, she would need to contact a medium and not a mentalist, because apparently, after talking to the dead, the Mind Master still doesn’t consider himself a medium. The humility and compassion emanating from this man just shocked and overwhelmed yours truly for a moment, there.

This is exactly what this nation needs right now, people : a man who can serve as the liaison between the living and the dead by virtue of his vaunted mental powers. How can we even begin to doubt his mental powers when, according to him, at a younger age, he was banned from casinos because he can read the minds of the dealers? While other mere mortals amongst us were banned from casinos at a younger age for being at a younger age, this young Mind Master was already showing the shades of greatness that he would take with him to television stardom at present.

Nation, we truly need this. We truly need yet another TV show that will educate the masses about the powers of a mentalist, which apparently now involves having stilted, unremarkable, nondescript conversations with our faithful departed. This will certainly answer many questions Freethinkers have about the afterlife, because clearly, here is a man who has access to it. And surely, when the day comes that he begins charging people for these very important services, he will be more than entitled to profiting from totally not at all cold reading his clients because he actually has powers.

This is the new face of mentalism: the kind that finally breaks free from the shackles of entertainment and ethics, and offers itself up as a substitute for actual therapy and consultation with genuine experts. Surely, the people who don’t know any better need yet another escape hatch from actually facing their problems, and hey, if it enriches our Mind Master along the way, what harm could it possibly do?

As a fellow mentalist who has gotten by with the typical wink-wink nudge-nudge approach used by professional wrestling for the past two decades, it does my heart good to know that we can now go back to the times where mediums were so popular that the most well-known magician of their time, Harry Houdini, had to resort to exposing his own secrets as a magician just to try to put a stop to them.

Move over, James van Praagh, Sylvia Browne, and John Edward: the Mind Master is here, and he will lead us to better days as we commune with dead spirits through his unbelievable mental powers. Once and for all, the Mind Master proves that people can indeed talk to the dead. Maybe someday, they could actually talk back.

Marcelle Fabie (Pronounced “Fa-bee-yay”.), who blogs on www.mistervader.com, is a man who embodies the two greatest characteristics of a Patriotic Filipino: he is patriotic, and he is Filipino. As an upstanding individual of strong moral fibre (i.e., he doesn’t get laid), he puts the “grit” in “journalistic inteGRITy.” Hard-hitting, fearless (except when it comes to Rick Astley), and unbelievably opinionated, he stands for truthiness, justice, and the Filipino way. He has a Pulitzer, a Nobel, an Oscar, a Grammy, and five other weirdly-named pet dogs.

He is also ridiculously sarcastic when he’s failing at satire.

If you have seen some of these TV episodes, and have any concerns over the fact that GMA-7 makes no disclaimer whatsoever about the veracity of Mind Master’s claims and performances, you may email the producers, [email protected], to let them know about your reservations of implicitly endorsing the demonstrations of a known magician to be legitimate.

To date, no individual or group has ever succeeded in James Randi’s 1 Million Dollar Paranormal Challenge. From mediums to pyrokinetics to fortune tellers to psychic surgeons, only a few of them have ever tried, and none of them provided any satisfactory results.

Perhaps, it should be obvious why none of these people have taken Randi’s money over the years. Despite that, quacks like them still persist, so debunkers and skeptics will never be out of a job anytime soon.

If Mr. Lasala insists on claiming to be the real deal, we wish him the best of luck in finally winning the coveted 1 Million Dollars from Mr. Randi. If the Mind Master truly has mental powers, how hard can that be?

 
DISCLAIMER: The opinions in this post do not necessarily represent the position of the Filipino Freethinkers.

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