Drowning in Baptismal Waters

Today is the feast of St. John the Baptist. And with our very own city of San Juan being named after the saint whose claim to fame is splashing other people with water, it’s no surprise that his feast day here is celebrated in the wettest way possible.

This year’s celebration seems to have been leveled up ten-fold. Whereas in the past few years, we would only see a few locals with their pails of water and garden hoses gleefully “baptizing” passers-by with water, this year we have actual firetrucks in every street corner literally deluging motorists and commuters alike in a torrential baptismal frenzy. With that much water power, one would almost hope that it would be enough to wash away all the evils in the country like Noah’s great flood. But alas, not even the might of Ondoy was enough to cleanse this nation of ours. So on we go with our lives, having no arks… yet still able to endure any amount of flooding that comes our way.

The first firetruck

Only in the Philippines will you see the government deploying all their firetrucks for merry-making (and making hapless commuter’s live miserable). Never mind if there was an actual emergency and all their firetrucks are out of water and stuck in the middle of the immovable crowd. After all, we are a christian nation and god will protect us. All it takes is a prayer to make everything better. In the meantime, the local royalty of the fiefdom of San Juan is much too busy celebrating their across-the-board win in the recently concluded elections. Their old mayor has just been promoted to congress and another family member takes his place in their own little kingdom. Enough reason to crank the celebration to the max. San Juan will not be outdone by Makati’s recent celebratory fanfare. What it lacks in budget, it will make up for in sheer chutzpah.

Yes, Filipinos really know how to party. Just like that those annoying neighbors who love the crank up their drunken karaoke parties till the wee hours of the morning. And its that same insensitivity that shows just how mature we are when it comes to merry-making. Sure, everyone’s having the time of their lives but what about those poor commuters who are just passing by on their way to work? Did anybody bother to ask them whether they’d actually want to participate in all the drenching? Did the revelers think of how those poor office workers will fare when they reach their offices soaking wet? Folks, this is not a simple sprinkling of water you can just air-dry in a few minutes, these guys are using actual fire hoses turned on full blast. The pressure alone from one of these babies will knock you off your feet, not to mention make you look like you swam to work. And if you think going to work with wet clothes suck, think of those carrying important documents that’s now reduced to wet rags.

The second firetruck

It’s a weird blend of one-third merry-making, one-third religious festival, and one-third politically-sponsored thank-you party. And just like its religious origins, things have a way to getting out of hand. People just get so caught up with the flow of things that they forget to even consider the collateral damage. Did the organizers think that everyone passing by is prepared for it and is a willing participant? Did they prepare alternate routes for those not in the mood to participate? You don’t get a choice. It gets shoved in your face whether you like it or not… just like religion. Most people didn’t have a choice of whether to get baptized or not since its done when they were still babies, they don’t get a choice of whether to get soaked when passing by San Juan, and they don’t get a choice whether they even agree with church-influenced national policies. Don’t have the same conservative views on sex as the Catholics? Tough. Think divorce is a feasible option in certain situations? Too bad. Don’t find anything wrong with same-sex marriage? Better luck next time. Feeling a bit more liberal with family planning, with contraceptives, sex-education? Sorry, no RH Bill for you still. It really doesn’t matter if you’re OK with it or not, whether you’re even christian or not, as long as the church has its way with Philippine politics, only church opinions matter and everyone has to play along.

Just like the deluge of today’s San Juan Day celebrations, the meaning of secularization in the Philippines has been washed way… in a torrent of baptizing water… coming from the hose of a government-owned firetruck.

13 comments

  1. despite of the merry making, i try to avoid this holiday as long as i can. its not the religious tone or the hearty laughter. it simply does not make sense to me

  2. Interesting read. Reminds me of another insensitive activity Filipinos are very much fond of: BOGAS and FIRECRACKERS.

  3. This foolish wasteful practice should be strictly stopped forever. There will be a Water Crisis in the coming future.

  4. Hi Jamie,

    I think the sentiment I'd use to describe it is "frustration".

    Hats off to you for being a volunteer firefighter. You guys are real heroes. When my uncle's house burned down last year, it was the volunteer firefighters that arrived waaaay before the gov't flunkies did. But the fuckheads from city hall wouldn't let them do their work until the "official" firefighters came. How screwed up is that?

    And to answer your unasked question, no the firetrucks I saw were all municipal trucks, it seems the volunteer firefighters had more sense then their government-paid counterparts to use their equipment "sa tamang pwesto, tamang panahon, at tamang paraan".

    But anyway, to clarify my stand on the matter, its more an issue of "urbanidad". Living in a densely populated metro, everyone should be more mindful that their revelry does not offend their neighbors who would opt not to participate. Its a classic case of "my rights to have party shouldn't supercede someone else's rights to be left in peace" or to put it more colloquially, "don't be a jerk".

    I do enjoy festivities, religious or not, I can even take a little good-natured sprinkling of water in good fun but I really do think it was poorly handled by the organizers which turned it from "fun festival" to "public nuisance". If we wanted to emulate street festivals like in other countries, there would be proper demarcations of festival boundaries, clearly marked alternate routes, and pre-announced itinerary of activities. Local officials don't bother with details like that. If you complain, "wala kang pakikisama"… so you're forced to just go with the flow or grin-and-bear-it.

  5. Good post =) Although I understand why the statements are full of anger or disappointment (If anger is such a strong word ),cause you were there. I would be pissed too if I got wet on my way to work or someone just poured dirty water all over my newly waxed car on a great day.

    However in my opinion, If this happened to me I would ask a lot of questions like you did specially the right ones.

    Question 1: If this was a non-religious event like let's say a secular Celebration of Life where water is our medium to express it would religious motorist be pissed at me too if I expressed how we celebrate on this day? "But it's a celebration of life dude! You can't be pissed at me?"
    Question 2: Why did I pass here on this day? Damn I why did I not remember that there are 365 days in a year, Hmmm I guess one day not passing here wouldn't hurt.
    Question 3: Would firemen really turn up their hoses to full blast on people? Nah! I doubt it this is not a rally it's a celebration. Firemen are not that stupid to throw their hoses at full blast. A Gallonage nozzle has multiple flow settings you can use depending on the situation. I should know I was trained for the Millenium Engine Volunteer Team in Manila and we are not stupid (ahh galit na oh joke!).

    Well in spite of it's "religious factor" I can't help but say that it's one fun activity that's held once a year. Yes it is wasteful THAT I agree with and very much annoying if you were one of those people who got wet without your permission. But calm down, relax they didn't mean to offend you all they were doing was celebrating a feast, not praying, not saying praise the lord or god is great but celebrating period. I doubt they even think it's a holy celebration.

    I would compare this celebration to La Tomatina in Bulyo in Spain without the Saint though. 'NUFF SAID

    • It doesn't matter if it's only done once a century. If this were a private event that only affected those who willingly celebrated it, then I'd have no problems with it. The thing is, public resources (the water, the firetrucks, the street) are used in a way that is not in the interest of the general public — only a few citizens. Now if those who opted not to join the celebration were given equivalent funds to throw their own parties, then that could be cause to reconsider. But that would obviously be highly impractical, and for fairness' sake, it's better to avoid such practices in the first place.

  6. "Woohoo! Let's waste our time and resources so we can disrupt the lives of people who are trying to be productive!"

    "Yahoo! Another day of getting paid and not doing any work!"

    "You gone where? School? Naw… You stayin' here. Yaaah!"

    Haaaaaaaaaaayyyy naaaaaaaaako… Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. It is embarassing to be associated (on any level – Filipino citizen, human being, Earthling) with these morons. Kadiri.

  7. Were you actually there to take these pics, Wes?

    By the way, they also failed to consider the effect of such a wasteful practice on our economy, let alone the environment.

    • yep, it took half an hour to get out of that street. Might as well take pictures. I am not passing by there again going home, grrr…

      • Wow, as a fellow SJ'er did you ever experience when they would test doors to try to get into your car and splash you? I hate the holiday because its an excuse for some people to be jerks.

        the wife and I were lucky that time.

        • gangs of kids actually climb into buses with their pails of water to get at passengers inside. this seems to be our local version of "trick or treat" only people don't get a choice as its always "trick"

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